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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

VLOGGING PRO TIPS

2ndJun 24, 2014 by BengalBoy
imageThere's nothing better than to sit down with a nice hot cup of cocoa and watch the latest Tengaged vlogs. The problem is, most Tengagers manage to make them boring as SH!TE. I may not be a vlogger, but as a member of the vlogwatching public here's a few PRO TIPS to liven up your vlogs!

1. Stop F*cking Waffling On!!! UGHH :@
Alorra people see fit to make a 45 minute video of them stuttering out dull answers to boring questions, the problem here is you've essentially spent three quarters of an hour making something no one except maybe you will ever watch. Keep it short and succinct and cut the boring bivs out, or just release it on Blu-ray for your parents or something.
"45 minutes? It's like an episode of GoT but without any entertainment value whatsoever!" - Koin

2. Opinionado
One of the most established vlogging conventions is doing a PYN where you give opinions on people via video. This seems like a good concept until the videos come out and it's just someone self consciously fixing their hair in the cam while they repeatedly say "we played a game once you're cool we should talk more" for about half an hour. If you're gonna do this at least be f*cking opinionated, and whack time marks in so people can hear their opinon then fk off.
"There was me thinking the whole site just thought I was a really cool guy who should talk to them more!" - shawnpat7

3. Portrait Is A Poor Trait
Here's a pro tip for those recording vlogs with smartphones and tablets: you can hold it on it's side instead of upwards so it actually looks normal on YouTube. When you do a vlog in portrait mode all you've achieved is optimizing viewing for Gerald, the black kid with the long head and narrow eyes in Hey Arnold.
"As a man with wide eyes, I can only watch these videos through one eye." - blogs

4. Miss Cleaver
A lot of girls, in the place of charisma or entertainment value, focus their vlogs on their cleavage. And you know what? That's alright. Just keep a few simple rules in mind:
a. Make sure your face is in the frame too, when you give up half your face to get more of your chest in the shot you've passed the line from faux subtlety into cringeworthy attention whoring.
b. Make sure you actually have something down there or else it's just embarrassing.
c. Showing some cleave isn't that exciting for anyone but Seal, take your top and bra off too in future.
"Man I wish I had some tits" - Steel

5. Stars In Their Eyes
Literally not one person is interested in hearing you bang on about how you got to any point in an online stars game for 10 minutes, if you want votes do something to entertain the public. Be careful here, as many people have shown there's a very small line between funny and cringeworthy, but at least the cringeworthy ones are entertaining huh?
"There's nothing I love more than doing a 20 minute bike workout while I listen to how coolguy101 made it to 10th place unnominated on audiobook!" - JGoodies

6. Drug Up Or Shut Up
Recently there's been a cool, edgy new trend of making vlogs while under the influence, but look, if you're gonna make a drugged up vlog at least do it on a drug that'll make you act wacky or somehow more interesting like PCP or cocaine, not while you're badly monging out  on weed or you've just visited the f--king dentist.
"Just huffed some Jenkem, it's VLOGGING TIME!" - Valdamien

So there's your pro tips. But hey, if you have fun doing self indulgent vlogs no one else really cares about, you keep doing you buddy and don't let anyone stop you. If you're going for the entertainment value, it's time to tip up or ship out.

"First of all, I'm not your friend, so stop YAPPING at me. Secondly, I'm not a vlogger, so stop VLOGGING at me!" - Supa Hot Fire

Comments

FIRST
Sent by Olaf_,Jun 24, 2014
2nd
Sent by JakeD,Jun 24, 2014
What an interesting quote, JGoodies!
Sent by DanielKennedy111,Jun 24, 2014
wow nothing about women studies? fuck u
Sent by coreyants,Jun 24, 2014
Now that I've been an honorable mention in a Bengal Blog, My next goal is to be quoted in one, then my life will be complete and I can die alone and happy.
Sent by PotatoSalad,Jun 24, 2014
I lost it with this  "Keep it short and succinct and cut the boring bivs out, or just release it on Blu-ray for your parents or something."
good blog mate!
Sent by _Teemo_,Jun 24, 2014
PotatoSalad we'll see about that pal
_Teemo_ thanks buddy i appreciate it *shakes hand*
Sent by BengalBoy,Jun 24, 2014
LMAO
Sent by lemonface,Jun 24, 2014
LOL have you watched my vlogs? mine and aaronstevens4444 vlogs are me being really mean and him covering it all up lol
Sent by shawnpat7,Jun 24, 2014
This is rather true, can't put up with your bullshit vlogs anymore Gaged'! Do what this cheeky lil fella says!
Sent by MikeRORO,Jun 24, 2014
1 is sooooo a dig at me

duly noted all these things dru, hope my next vlog will make ya proud
Sent by chelss,Jun 24, 2014
chelss nah other people have made ones that are like an hour and a quarter
shawnpat7 LOL can't remember if i saw it
Sent by BengalBoy,Jun 24, 2014
Very true. Shame people aren't up to the HelenCoops level of brilliant vlogs
Sent by HelenCoops,Jun 24, 2014
i don't know what i'd do without you bengalboy < 3
Sent by k4r4k,Jun 24, 2014
you n all sweetheart k4r4k
Sent by BengalBoy,Jun 24, 2014
You left out people who are nervous and can't sit still or constantly mess with their hair.
Sent by Diva1,Jun 24, 2014
omg don't encourage illegal behavior bengalboy
Sent by iamtrey,Jun 25, 2014
LOL, so true about the portrait scale. :)
Sent by 75937563748,Jun 25, 2014
You should make a vlog
Sent by rowan22,Jun 25, 2014
rowan22 but i'm not a vlogger
Sent by BengalBoy,Jun 25, 2014
#truthsauce
Sent by Beer,Jun 25, 2014
you tell them bud
Sent by Meyaar,Jun 25, 2014
OH HO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sent by SurvivorFan37,Jun 25, 2014
Lol love it!
Sent by Oliviaxoxo,Jun 25, 2014
#4 taylorstlouis
Sent by Qwertyioup,Jun 25, 2014
I will try put these PRO TIPS
Sent by AlaskanFiredragon,Jun 25, 2014

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