There's nothing better than to sit down with a nice hot cup of cocoa and watch the latest Tengaged vlogs. The problem is, most Tengagers manage to make them boring as SH!TE. I may not be a vlogger, but as a member of the vlogwatching public here's a few PRO TIPS to liven up your vlogs!
1. Stop F*cking Waffling On!!! UGHH :@
Alorra people see fit to make a 45 minute video of them stuttering out dull answers to boring questions, the problem here is you've essentially spent three quarters of an hour making something no one except maybe you will ever watch. Keep it short and succinct and cut the boring bivs out, or just release it on Blu-ray for your parents or something.
"45 minutes? It's like an episode of GoT but without any entertainment value whatsoever!" - Koin
2. Opinionado
One of the most established vlogging conventions is doing a PYN where you give opinions on people via video. This seems like a good concept until the videos come out and it's just someone self consciously fixing their hair in the cam while they repeatedly say "we played a game once you're cool we should talk more" for about half an hour. If you're gonna do this at least be f*cking opinionated, and whack time marks in so people can hear their opinon then fk off.
"There was me thinking the whole site just thought I was a really cool guy who should talk to them more!" - shawnpat7
3. Portrait Is A Poor Trait
Here's a pro tip for those recording vlogs with smartphones and tablets: you can hold it on it's side instead of upwards so it actually looks normal on YouTube. When you do a vlog in portrait mode all you've achieved is optimizing viewing for Gerald, the black kid with the long head and narrow eyes in Hey Arnold.
"As a man with wide eyes, I can only watch these videos through one eye." - blogs
4. Miss Cleaver
A lot of girls, in the place of charisma or entertainment value, focus their vlogs on their cleavage. And you know what? That's alright. Just keep a few simple rules in mind:
a. Make sure your face is in the frame too, when you give up half your face to get more of your chest in the shot you've passed the line from faux subtlety into cringeworthy attention whoring.
b. Make sure you actually have something down there or else it's just embarrassing.
c. Showing some cleave isn't that exciting for anyone but Seal, take your top and bra off too in future.
"Man I wish I had some tits" - Steel
5. Stars In Their Eyes
Literally not one person is interested in hearing you bang on about how you got to any point in an online stars game for 10 minutes, if you want votes do something to entertain the public. Be careful here, as many people have shown there's a very small line between funny and cringeworthy, but at least the cringeworthy ones are entertaining huh?
"There's nothing I love more than doing a 20 minute bike workout while I listen to how coolguy101 made it to 10th place unnominated on audiobook!" - JGoodies
6. Drug Up Or Shut Up
Recently there's been a cool, edgy new trend of making vlogs while under the influence, but look, if you're gonna make a drugged up vlog at least do it on a drug that'll make you act wacky or somehow more interesting like PCP or cocaine, not while you're badly monging out on weed or you've just visited the f--king dentist.
"Just huffed some Jenkem, it's VLOGGING TIME!" - Valdamien
So there's your pro tips. But hey, if you have fun doing self indulgent vlogs no one else really cares about, you keep doing you buddy and don't let anyone stop you. If you're going for the entertainment value, it's time to tip up or ship out.
"First of all, I'm not your friend, so stop YAPPING at me. Secondly, I'm not a vlogger, so stop VLOGGING at me!" - Supa Hot Fire
Now that I've been an honorable mention in a Bengal Blog, My next goal is to be quoted in one, then my life will be complete and I can die alone and happy.
I lost it with this "Keep it short and succinct and cut the boring bivs out, or just release it on Blu-ray for your parents or something."
good blog mate!