MALE CABIN, THE DICKIE DOLLAR CAMPERS — STUDENTS : dolphinz811 - Blaze Anderson max7313 - Booker Engle cococolin122 - Mark Reese
James Porter
Jason Randall
Robert Golding
Randy Golding
Elliot Young
COUNSELORS : imprincearthur - Clay Tunbridge
Jay Collins
OTHER ADULTS :
Deputy Jeannie Ray Lewis-Roro
Sheriff Johnny Lewis-Roro
Reporter Mamilla Topic
Detective Joanna Mrrin
Lawyer - Riley Con
GUEST STARRING :
Yo Yang
Jess Slayvilla
Sue Tropper
Clarissa Roberts
Blunt Rogers
Justin Hollice
Bailey Madden
1996, CAMP AURORAWATER :
[“Wannabe” by The Spice Girls plays on their boombox ]
-Jess knocks on Yo’s bedroom door in the cabin-
Jess - YO, KIM JONG-IL. YOU IN THERE? -bangs on the door- COME ON, IT’S NOT THAT BAD! I could've mailed it to your mom.
-Emanuel Fontzema, the 34 year old housefather of the Dickie Dollar Campers walks in, wearing a lot of women’s attire-
Emanuel - What's up?
Jess - Nothi—…. Are you wearing… Lipstick? And… Eyeliner…? HEY, YOU STOLE MY BOA! -takes boa off of Emanuel’s neck, and wraps it around her own- ARE YOU LIKE A TRANNY OR SOMETHING?!
Emanuel - That was actually my boa. Yours is in your room. And, by the way, is so last season. -snatches boa back and struts out, wearing red high heels-
Jess scoffs - What a bitch.
-Jess gets her key out and opens Yo’s door-
Jess - I'm coming in. -Yo is nowhere to be found in her room, but Jess notices the bathroom door wide open- Yo?! -walks into the bathroom and finds Yo’s body in the tub with a toaster in it with her- AHHHH!
Yo cries - IT DIDN’T WORK. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD TO PLUG THE TOASTER IN.
Jess laughs - YOU DUMMY! I'm so going out there to tell all my friends that you can't even kill yourself correctly. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -leaves-
Yo cries - AHGHDHAHFNFWJXJSJA! I HATE LIFE! Where's an outlet?!
-a random man walks in and plugs the toaster in-
Yo screams - AHHHHHHHHHH! -and starts seizing and dies-
Jess and her friends walk in seconds later - YOU WILL DIE WHEN YOU SEE THIS SAD NAZI!
-they notice her dead body and they all scream-
[SCREAM QUEENS 2.]
20 YEARS LATER, JUNE 2016, KATIE’S HOUSE :
Katie wakes up and yells - MUSIC ON.
Phone - Good morning, Katie Katherine Peters. What music playlist do you want on?
Katie - Feministic, Uplifting, Self Love & Feeling Good.
Phone - Playlist on. First on the playlist… Me Too. By…. Meghan Trainor. Aka, who you dubbed Fat Whore With Good Beats.
Katie - Thank you, phone.
Phone - You are welcome.
-Katie jumps up and puts on heart shaped sunglasses and the most revealing tank top she can find, and short shorts that barely covers anything-
Katie, internal monologue - Schools over, I'm finally a senior, I'm still the Queen Bitch in town, I think this playlist is perfect for me.
-she walks down her house's grand stairwell, wearing her tank top, with a fluffy pink feather jacket over it, and her light green ripped denim short shorts on-
Katie, internal monologue - My real daddy is such a nice person. He's a millionaire for making some scientific discovery or maybe for directing some big movie like Star Wars or something, I don't care I wasn't listening I just took the money and limo driver he got me.
-Katie walks down to her friends Janelle, Rose and Reese-
Katie, internal monologue - These are my friends. Yes, I am friends with teenage pop princess and musical icon, Rose Mulet. Rose is so great and nice, but… She IS a tad psychotic.
-Cut to Rose volunteering at the children's hospital-
Little girl singing - THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG, TAKE BACK MY LIGHT WRONG!
-Rose stops singing, and she drops her guitar, breaking it-
Rose - THOSE ARE NOT THE GOSH DAMN WORDS! -runs at the cancer kid, but Katie holds her back-
Katie - CHILL FAM!
-reporters take pictures-
Parents - AHHHHHH!!!
-Cut back to Katie walking outside to the limo-
Katie, internal monologue - Yep, she has a secret alter ego, Anna, who comes out when she gets mad. Apparently she had a secret sister that died or something?????? I don't know how split personalities work. Either way, that controversy haunted her for the last year, so she's going to this Summer camp thing with me, for her court mandated community service. I on the other hand, go every year because I run the damn joint. Tiffany is my pet goat that follows my every move, so no shock she comes with me. She's 22 and is going to counsel the camp because she stole from the mall and needs to or she goes to jail. The police hates my friends. And Reese… She's not the sharpest fork in the knife drawer, but, I take what I can get. I'm such a fierce slut, I'm everyone's friend. Everyone wants to be me or be close to me. It’s just science! But, there is one person who I tolerate more than anyone.
-Katie walks outside James, her boyfriend-
Katie - BAE! -she runs up to him and makes out with him-
James - Hey babe! I am going to camp with you!
Katie - AHHH, LIT!
James - I'm sure there'll be tons of hot chicks there!
Katie - Um…. And me!
James - Yeah! But tons of other hot chicks there!
Katie smiles fakely - Yeah, but… Me!
James - Yeah, but… Hot chicks.
Katie nods - Yeah… Me.
James - Yeah, you…. Plus, hotter…
Katie - Just stop.
James - Okay.
Katie - Are your friends going?
James - Which ones?
Katie - I don't know their names! I have my own life. Like, going to Rose’s concert’s before they all got cancelled due to legal reasons.
James - Um… Yeah a few of my squad mates are going. Blaze, Booker, Mark and Jake.
Katie - Okay, I label all of your friends. Which ones are they?
James - Dumb blonde, creepy fat, closet case and hot bestie.
Katie, internal monologue - This may seem like I think I'm superior to everyone, which is mainly because that's true. Like, everyone in this town is either obese, fat, gay or psychotic… Or obese. Besides me & my squad. I mean, I guess there's a few non obese insane gay’s in this town, but… I've yet to notice them. Like, literally there's a girl in my school who is 123 pounds, whom I fat shamed until she decided to get her stomach stapled, and then the stapled ripped and her guts poured all over her boyfriend, blind Joe. Blind Joe proceeded to eat his mashed potatoes, with her blood soaked in them. He thought it was the school's new gravy recipe. Which, is reasonable, as the school is known for disgusting food. Which is why I eat my own special sushi. The secret recipe is fake rice and fake fish. And fake soy sauce. The fake everything is made out of my specially created incubated cotton balls. It's truly scientifically advanced. Back to Blind Joe. When he found out he was dating a cow, he proceeded to kill himself. Well, people think he accidentally drove off that cliff, but… He's driven everyday of his life, it's not accidental. Whoops. I guess that was my accidental fault. But, I guess the moral of the story is, I'm the HBIC and I'm gonna slay this Summer Camp.
[CUT TO : Estelle walking into the camp.]
Estelle - MA?!
Esmerelda struts out wearing the dress from Frozen and a tiara - YOU. are NOT. My daughter. You're my sister's daughter, and just because she accidentally drank bleach, does NOT make you mine.
Estelle - My momma made you my God-trans-parent, it's not my fault.
Esmerelda - It's not mine. It's probably her druggie husband. She said he was hanging out in the laundry room and has been buying a lot of laundry detergent recently. Yeah, and after she drank bleach from her Gatorade bottle, he shot himself, so… It's an assumed murder-suicide. Now, I have you.
Estelle - Yeah, and you'll have me this entire Summer!
Esmerelda’s face drops - Please no.
Estelle cheers - I AM COMING TO SUMMER CAMP!
Esmerelda - Is there such thing as a God God parent? Cuz I may kill myself.
Estelle bawling - WHAT IS YOUR FACKING DAMAGE, YOU BITCH?!
Esmerelda - Did your emotion just change really quickly or am I really high?
Estelle crying - I AM GOING TO CUT MY FACKING THROAT BECAUSE OF YOU, SLUT!!!! YOU ARE A MAAAAANNNNNN!!!!
Esmerelda rubbing her head - Oh my God, where is my shotgun?
Estelle - I'll freaking kill you this Summer! -stomps away-
Esmerelda - Looking forward to it. -bangs head against brick wall- LORD GIVE ME A CONCUSSION. IF THIS IS REPAYMENT FOR BEING APART OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY I WILL REVERSE MY SURGERY IN VEGAS AND GO BACK TO MAN. JUST TAKE MY GODDAUGHTER AWAY!
Estelle, uncontrollably crying - I DIDN’T WALK AWAY YET.
Esmerelda - Screw you, God.
[CUT TO : The buses coming in.]
-Katie struts off the bus, takes her sunglasses off, hands them to Rose and flips her hair back-
Katie smiles - I'm home, bitches. -hands her bags to an Indian girl- Take it, House Slave.
Tamara, the Indian - Bitch, no!
Katie - THANKS, CURI HEAD! -struts into her cabin-
Tamara to Tiffany - Is there anything dier in here? Like, if this were to accidentally end up in the lake, would that like… Kill her?
Tiffany - No. This is her sunglasses bag.
Tamara - Privledged bitch.
-Tiffany walks away-
-Tamara goes down to the lake and chucks Katie’s bag into the lake-
Tamara - Huh. -smiles and turns around, bumping into Tori- AH!
Tori - You should be careful.
Tamara - Who the hell are you?!
Tori - Kampa Legacy History, Tori Slayvilla. My mom is Jess Slayvilla, the biggest Queen B in history. Be careful straying away from the pack. A minority like you could get beat to death with sticks.
Tamara - What the hell is that to say to a minority?!
Tori - I think you all have something to learn… Tonight. Campfire story time is going to happen. Yay!
Tamara - Are you an escaped mental patient or something?!
Tori laughs maniacally - No. -smirks evilly-
-Tamara runs away into her cabin-
Tori smiles - I just ruined one person’s camp experience, and I'm proud!
~~~~THE GIRL’S CABIN~~~~
Tamara looks at the interior of her cabin, and is indifferent - This sucks.
Prypa - I got deported to Colombia once. But, this bad too, I guess.
Tamara sighs - I'm going to internally die before the end of the Summer.
Prypa - I was actually clinically dead for 25 minutes. Whining works too, I guess.
-Tamara cries into a couch pillow-
Prypa - I got Ebola once. Crying works too, I guess.
Katie - Hey Slave!
Tamara - I'm not a slave. I'm Indian not African America.
Prypa - I’m Latina!
Katie - Not the point. Where's my Sunglass’s bag?
Tamara - Check the lake!
Katie - If. You. Threw. My. Bag. In. The. Lake.
Tamara - Oh sue me. -stomps into her room-
Prypa - Ooh drama! This is like when my parents sold my baby brother on the Columbian black market!
Katie shrieks - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FAHGET YOU TAMARA MOWRY!
Prypa - I'm 99% sure that's the name of the blacker Twitch.
Katie - I DON’T CARE, ISISETTE! -stomps into her room-
Katie, internal monologue - Do some idiotic STD-carrying strippers try to bring me down? -sits down at her desk, and gets her mini pink laptop out- Of course! But, who comes out on top? -googles : Tamara, Indian Fat Hooker- Me! Okay, so, no Tamara isn't a hooker. No, she isn't fat. No, I don't know or care what her last name is. But, yes, I have photoshop.
-Katie prints out 100 copies of a photoshopped picture of Tamara, with a fat Indian hooker body-
Katie, internal monologue - Being a hero is no fun. Being a villain is all fun. Mua. Ha. Ha.
IN SUSU & TRIXIE’S ROOM :
Susu throws her big pink bag on her bed - Yawn. It's only 3 and I'm ready to sleep.
Trixie walks in - Oh. Hi.
Susu looks at her and silently judges, but fakely smiles - HIIII! -hugs her- I'm Susu! Asian Queen of Prom! This year is my Prom Queen Tour. So, I'm doing this Summer Camp garbage for a month to 2 months, then traveling around the state signing pictures of me and slaying life. MEANWHILE keeping up with my 100k and rising Instagram followers. It's lit and a struggle.
Trixie - I'm….
Susu - MEANWHILE I need to post at least 14 snap stories daily or my followers get mad, and mad followers send really creepy nudes.
Trixie - Trixie.
Susu - SILLY RABBIT TRIX ARE FOR KIDS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Trixie - Wha…? Whatever, I am just Trixie, and I'm here to make new friends.
Susu - OH MY BRENDA SONG!!! OF COURSE I’LL BE YOUR BEST AND ONLY FRIEND! -hugs her-
Trixie - I have other…. -coughs- You're suffocating me.
Susu let's go - I AM SO READY FOR THIS. ONLY RULE : WHEN WE GET MANI-PEDI’S THE GIRL CAN NOT BE ASIAN. TOO STEREOTYPICAL! AHHHHHHH! I AM SO HAPPY!
Trixie rubs her head - I need an aspirin.
Susu walks out of her room, smiling, and has an internal monologue - Being an Asian prom Queen requires a lot of fakeness. Trixie seems like a boring little hoe with less personality than a sushi roll, and she probably tastes a lot worse too, cuz sushi rolls are delicious. Especially spicy shrimp, not the point. But, yeah, Trixie, aka my new best friend, is just for good press. She's not very pretty, so when people see me taking selfies with an uggy, they'll be like “omg awwwww Susu is so giving and charitable. Maybe she'll give her a makeover!!!” And I will, and I'll give her a boyfriend too! I'll be like Jesus. Asian Jesus. Asian Jesus with a Vagina.
Janelle walks into the Kampa house - Yo hoes!
-Tiffany and Meghan stand behind Janelle-
Meghan - She means students.
-the female students gather around-
Tiffany - Let me start!
Janelle - No bitch, it's my solo time.
Katie - YAS JANIE, TAKE THAT SOLO.
Janelle smiles and waves - YAS KATE REPRESENT!
Tiffany - If you're going to solo, then proceed before Summer ends.
Janelle - Okay, so… As counselors it's our jobs to plan events, have fun games, and have ideas for stuff to do with our cool cat Kampa students.
Lisa - They don't.
Tiffany - We don't.
Janelle - That was my line!
Tiffany - But! Some random stranger girl who is older than 18, meaning she's not a Kampa, suggested…
Meghan - CAMPFIRE STORYTIME!
Janelle - This is not Destiny’s Child. This is Fifth Harmony. And I'm Camila in the album Reflections! I AM THE ONLY ONE SPEAKING.
Tiffany - So, gather around the Campfire at 10 P.M. Because we all have stories prepared!
Janelle - Also, Esmerelda is our housemother. Her cabin is a little far away, it's like a mile left of this path. You'll find it. It's impossible to miss.
Prypa - This camp has housemother? Whenever I camped, trying to escape deportation police I hid in hole, and buried myself alive. I was in the coffin for 2 days before my ex-husband found me and dig me out. I burned him to death because I was so angry and got on plane to Antarctica. I made a penguin my bitch and he killed deportation police, so I got on plane and went back to America. Penny the penguin still to this day sends postcard.
Reese - Oh my God! That penguin must be so talented! Tell her I said hi!
Kalia rushes in - AM I late??!
Tiffany - Yes. 2 hours late.
Kalia out of breath - Sorry… Was… -breathes heavily and points at a student- Is that Rose Mulet? -passes out-
Rose - Was she on Big Brother?!? OMG IS THAT JODI ROLLINS?!
Lisa whispers - No, it's Kalia.
Destiny - She's why I came here.
DICKIE DOLLAR CAMPERS CABIN :
Clay & Jay walk in - YO DICKIES.
-the Dickie’s gather around-
Jay - I'm Jay and this is Clay, and we be your camp counselors.
Clay - I am a house father in training. When I turn 30, Denny promised I get full ownership.
Jay - He's 24. I'm 22.
Clay - There's 8 of you here, there's 13 Kampa. 21 overall. Day One, that's fairly strong. I'm sure more will show up overtime.
Jay - This camp IS experiencing a new low with people showing up, so we may be getting our hopes a bit high.
Clay - No, we are not Jay. If the camp closes before I turn 30, I get no camp to own. We have to get late arrivals.
James - Actually with Rose Mulet as a camper, and Kalia Booker as a counselor, I'm sure more people will arrive.
Jay - WHAT ABOUT ROSE MOOO LAYYYY?? -runs outside and notices Rose Mulet leaving her cabin- ROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! -he chases her, and she runs away-
Rose shrieking while running away - RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE!!!!!!!
Clay - He owns Rose Mulet’s album : The Pain of Being Pretty.
James - Her debut ASMR single Never Be Ok was a good track.
Jacob - Too bad she went crazy.
Robert - To be fair, Jay is acting crazy.
-Rose stops running, turns around and punches Jay in the face-
Rose/Anna - KILL YOURSELF, BITCH! -she takes a tree branch and beats him with it-
Clay runs up to Rose - HE IS JUST A FAN. HE IS JUST A FAN. HE IS JUST A PSYCHO FAN.
Rose - Oh my! I'm so sorry. #KindnessPlwease. I'm so sorry. -hugs Jay-
Jay, bleeding - I just got beaten up by Rose Moo Layyyy…. -smiles- AMAZING. -hugs her- THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Katie walks over to James - This is a new low to Kampa & Dickies. Camp Aurorawater may actually flop into extinction.
James - We still have time. Rose being here is great publicity. So is Kalia, but she's been here ever since BB13 ended.
Katie - You watched BB13? Are you a crazy cat lady now?
James - No! I just know about Kalia because… I go to camp here every year and learn about my counselors.
Katie - Mmm… Sure.
CAMPFIRE TIME :
Rose sings - -while playing acoustic guitar-
Destiny whispers to Dillyn - I've seen a bat eating a mouse, and this is still the scariest thing I've ever witnessed.
Dillyn whispers - This reminds me of a dream I once had where a man whispered in my ear “this is for Janet.” And shot me.
Destiny whispers - Who’s Janet?
Rose - My song is done!!!! Yayyyyyyyy!
-everyone claps, Kalia and Jay give her a standing ovation-
Destiny whispers to Wendy - Why is she even whispering?
Wendy - An accident happened to her, that she eventually got her to speak normally, but her vocal chords can't sing. I think her house caught on fire or something. She got nominated for a Radio Music Award for Hero of the Year but lost to Britney Spears.
Tori struts into the campfire circle - Hey bitches!
Tiffany - Who are you?
Tori - I'm someone who doesn't give a damn and wants to be here, so I'm here.
Janelle - Are you a counselor?!
Tori - No, I'm 20. Your camp discriminates against 19 & 20 year olds, so… Either shut up or I'll sue you for being age racist.
Kalia - I need this job and can't handle a lawsuit so everyone besides… What's her name… Just shut up.
Tori - Tori, thanks for asking.
Kalia - I'm Kalia.
Tori - And I'm not caring. Onto the story.
Katie - You're sharing a story??
Tori - Yes, so shut up bitch.
-Esmerelda and Denny walk into the campfire circle-
Esmerelda - Did we miss story time yet?
Katie - DAD?!
Denny - Katie! Hi! I'm the new housefather.
Rose - Who is that, Katie?
Katie - The father who divorced my mother, and left me.
Denny - Yeah, your new dad gave me like 100 thousand dollars so I bought the boys cabin and became the housefather. The old housefather took the money and bought drugs and then OD’ed.
James - AWWW, Mr. Gabriel died?!
Katie - That is not okay, Denny!
Denny - It's dad to you.
Katie - No, it's Ex-Dad. Aka Denny.
Denny - Young lady.
Katie - The only person here that can call me that is House Mother Esmerelda.
Esmerelda - I don't call anyone that.
Estelle - Please call me that, mommy.
Esmerelda - I’M NOT YOUR DAMN MOTHER.
Tori - She's your father.
Esmerelda - I AM NOT A MAN, SLUT! How do you even known I'm trans?!
Yo - Racist comments while trying to flirt… I love it. Take my egg roll. -she shakes her head- That came out wrong. Well, the right direction, but the wrong… Part. I give up, just take me.
-Blunt picks her up and carries her into his cabin-
Outside the cabin, Jess whispers to Sue, Clarissa and Bailey - We have to come in from all over. Clarissa, Bailey go from the back door. Me & Sue will take the front.
-Clarissa and Bailey run to the backdoor-
INSIDE THE CABIN :
-Yo takes off her shirt and makes out with Blunt-
-Clarissa, Bailey, Sue and Jess all rush in and take pictures off her, hysterically laughing-
Yo shrieks - NOOO! -covers her bra/boobs with her arms- NO NO NO.
Blunt laughs - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-All of them laugh at Yo-
Yo cries - WHAT THE HELL?!
Jess - It was me. My idea. I ruined your perfect image. -lifts the camera up- After I get these developed. Your perfect image will be ruined by these perfect images. Mua. Mua. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hahahahahaahahahahaah HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA. HAHA! YOU THOUGHT THIS PIECE OF DARK CHOCOLATE WOULD ACTUALLY MAKE BABIES WITH YOU! THIS IS NEW YORK IN 1996 NOT THE BEATLES IN THE 1930’S! GET OUT OF HERE YOKO!
Yo screams and cries and runs into her room - ANCNWNCEJAJCNEJAJEF. -she runs into the kitchen, grabs a toaster, and runs back into her room-
Jess - Maybe she wants toast.
Clarissa - Yeah!
Sue - Can she make me a piece?
Bailey - It’d be common courtesy for her to do so.
PRESENT DAY, CAMPFIRE :
Tori - And then she killed herself. Do you know what her last words were?
20 YEARS AGO, GIRLS CABIN BATHROOM :
So - SCREW YOU, JESS SLAYVILLA! -she throws the toaster into the filling bathtub and jumps in-
PRESENT DAY, CAMPFIRE :
Tori - My name… Tori Slayvilla… The end!
Reese - Wait, who killed herself? The Asian one or Jess?
Lisa - Or the black football player?
Estelle - Your story has holes.
Esmerelda - It was Yo who killed herself. That's how you know I used to be a man, isn't it?
Katie - I think your attire alone is what gave it away. But, if I was Asian I'd kill myself too.
Susu - As an Asian, I'm offended.
Katie - Oh, go make me some rice.
Prypa - One time my family got cooked and eaten by cannibals… I almost killed myself too… But, I ate my baby brother instead.
Tiffany - Bigger picture, guys! Your mom made an Asian kill herself?!
Susu - Can we just say girl?! Why does her race matter.
Katie - That's lowkey messed up, Tori. Even for me.
Esmerelda - I've made a few bitches kill themselves before, in the past.
-the campfire is silent, staring at Esmerelda, judging. Especially Estelle.-
Katie - I mean, same. -Katie fistbumps Esmerelda-
Tori - Yes, my mom basically murdered an Asian. But, they murdered the economy, so… Is it wrong?
Susu - Just get out.
Tori - Where are all the boys, Mr. Peters?
Katie - JUST GET OUT, BITCH!
Denny - Sleeping.
-Tori walks out-
Wendy - There has to be more to that story.
Clary - It's probably just that pointless story, and that's that. She sucks.
-Tori, who is walking away, overhears that, and smiles into the camera, putting on a pair of heart shaped sunglasses, a lot like Katie’s from earlier-
Tori, internal monologue - Oh, yes, there is more. Smart Wendy. I don't know the entire story, but… All them girls from the 1996 camp. Were murdered before 2000 was over. My mom had me in 1996. She was like 3 months pregnant in that little flashback. I know, she's so pretty and skinny. So am I! Yep, she died when I was just about 3.
2000, JESS’S HOUSE :
Jess gives Tori a hotdog and a bottle of milk, with alcohol poured in it - This will get you to shut up.
-a man in a samurai costume breaks in and runs at Jess, and stabs her in the neck with a katana and starts chopping her up-
Tori stares, indifferently - Oh wats.
PRESENT DAY, IN A SECRET CABIN :
Tori, internal monologue - Witnessing my mom get Samurai’ed so suddenly and brutally really changed me. It made me LOVE SAMURAI’S. I own all the Bruce Lee movies now. Onto her hand of bitches. They died together, in 1997. On their one year anniversary celebration. My mom didn't show up, and I only know what I heard. But, it seems exactly the same.
1997, BAR :
-Bailey drinks and does karaoke-
Bailey screaming - BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. ET TOI. REEEEAAAALLL LADY MARMALADE.
Sue - Does she know any of the lyrics?
-Bailey falls off the bar-
Clarissa - No, she does not. Where's Blunt?
-The Samurai throws Blunt’s head at Clarissa-
Clarissa - AHHHHHHH! -she runs up the stairs of the bar, witnessing Bailey gets chopped in half, along side Sue, she continues up the stairs and calls her ex, Justin, on a huge cellphone from the 90’s- Baby, you need to hurry up and get me. There's a Samurai here.
-Justin’s randomly body drops from the ceiling, on top of Clarissa-
Clarissa - HOW THE HELL?!
-The Samurai randomly appears and stabs Clarissa in the head-
Clarissa - Owie.
-The Samurai disappears-
PRESENT DAY, HIDDEN CABIN :
Tori, internal monologue - That leaves one explanation.
-Tori pins a picture of Esmerelda on her board-
Tori - That transvestite bitch, Emanuel. That's our Samurai. He got the surgery to take the target of his back, plays the trans card when someone accuses him, and points the finger at the pretty person when under fire. I got my eyes on you Esmerelda, and your little Godchild too.
IN THE GIRL’S CABIN :
Reese is the last girl awake, and on her cellphone - Yeah mom, when I get out of this camp Hell hole, I want another pony, and yeah, stab a stick in its head so I can call it a unicorn. Or at least paint it a pretty color. Yes, I really want this. YOU KILL YOURSELF. DON’T CALL THE ANIMAL POLICE. Sorry, I can hardly hear you, let me go outside. I'm so sorry, thank you for calling the animal place. -walks outside- God, reception sucks out here. -she hears footsteps and turns around- God, there must be an animal or something, it's so annoying. I hate nature. -she turns back around and a samurai is standing in front of her- OH NOOOO! AHHH! -drops her phone and runs away-
Reese’s mom on the phone - REESE?! Are you pregnant??? Please abort.
Reese runs into the woods, and gets caught in a bear trap - NOOOO! MY BUNNY SLIPPERS! THESE ARE MADE OUT OF REAL BUNNIES. NOOO!
-The Samurai walks up to her and looks down at her-
Reese - You're so ugly, it's scary. Like, get a better wardrobe, sweetie. Are you killing me for my looks? Cuz, I've tried, it doesn't work. God, you're fat too. How much do you weigh! Like, 100 pounds? Doll, that's obese.
-the Samuai cuts her jaw off so she can't talk anymore-
Reese - HMMMMMM HMMMM! -dies-
THIS SEASON ON SCREAM QUEENS :
Rose cries - I CAN NOT BELIEVE REESE IS DEAD.
Katie - She isn't that hard to trick, to be realistic. Not too shocked.
-Rose sobs uncontrollably-
Katie - HELLO EVERYONE, I NEED A NEW BEST FRIEND SQUAD MEMBER. I AM DESPERATE. SO… I WILL BE TAKING APPLICANTS. THE FINAL DECISION WILL BE MADE BY NIGHTFALL.
Esmerelda - Due to the recent killings, we are not accepting any new campers.
Clay - This better not get inbetween me and my future job.
Denny - I just want to be with you.
Katie - Then you should've before. -walks away-
-a person holding a knife walks towards Esmerelda-
Jeannie - I AM HERE. WITH MY HUSBAND. WORKING ON MY SECOND MURDER CASE. LITTTTTTT!!!!! AHHHHH!
the character developments are so dope and this storyline is gonna be so cool! loving susu and I think she might be the killer...I mean, she's Asian and the killer is a samurai so it totally makes sense
There is still room for more!!!!! Apply here!!! : http://www.tengaged.com/blog/Kaseyhope101/7390245/scream-queens-blog-series-season-2-apps