Luzon's blogBlog

Flopman13

8thAug 10, 2015 by Luzon

To many, Suitman13 is basically their Tengaged Dad. Only this Dad is no normal Dad. No, this Dad comes with an all-inclusive package of pasty white, angsty homosexual teens bent on worshiping the Great Shawn. Being Great Shawn is like being Donald Trump -- You can say literally anything you want and people will say "YASSSSSS SLAYYYY ME YOUR OPINIONS ARE EVERYTHINGGGGGGG" no matter how truly incoherent or awful your opinions may be. It's a pretty sweet deal, especially when you can make blogs taking down whoever you want; Your uncultured, brainwashed and half sentient lemmings will massage your ego and give you an instant and guaranteed Top Blog.

Being Great Shawn is truly an all-inclusive deal. You can flop the fuck out of every group game you play, and it gives you unlimited credibility in being the grand arbiter of the games of your players. In a game where DylanBTBT's obvious and glaring chromosomal deficiencies (and status as an all around unfunny and probably overweight sycophant) are instead lauded as great pillars of virtual strategic prowess, it's actually really shocking that a personality cult can develop around Great Shawn, the God that makes Jesus look like a fucking pussy.

But before we continue, I must, out of unadultered respect for the Great Leader, refer to Shawn at least once by his more proper title: The Great Lord and Savior of Internet Survivor Games and King of all the Tengaged Realm, his Most High Radiant Excellency Suitman13.

As a scholar of Great Shawn, I have studied his teachings for a long time. His most recent blog series - "Players who will never return" is a true testament to his undying and everlasting glory. By addressing the players he writes about in a spiteful and dismissive manner, he gives the impression of sounding like a tone deaf idiot, while only True Believers realize the intellectual perfection this obviously represents. Great Shawn is truly a marvel -- no matter how wrong he is, he is always right. Trying to contradict him is like giving manalord a dictionary -- it's a waste of your fucking time.

In closing, I would like to say "Thank you" to my Tengaged father and true source of inspiration - Great Shawn. Whether it's your ability to direct a group of useful idiots with an average IQ platform of 78 or your ability to so effectively reject such qualities like Self-awareness and humility that us Lesser Beings require to be succesful, you are certainly a paragon of superiority. One day, I only hope that I myself can bend over and get on my knees as well as aifwyattroh in my efforts to please you. We love you Shawn, please don't ever change.

But I'm not the only person who thinks this. Nope, not at all. Here are some anonymous testimonies to His power:

"Doesn't Suitman13 get his ass kicked in every group game he plays? I'm not insinuating that group games suddenly matter I'm saying he;s starting to take his a bit too seriously."

"It's funny because he IS the kind of player that would never return."

"His series has gotten way too tacky and the people in it are all just really annoying now."

"He can't even spell "Vanuatu" right."

"Has he developed a God complex and feels he has the right to call people annoying and ban them of the right to play his extremely average group which has far too much effort put into it, thus making it an uncomfortable experience to partake in."

"it actually makes me really mad.
its repulsive
especially since he shits on jacob even though jacob was unfairly voted out 3 times due to his shitty twists"

"I hate the VL wannabe scum being like "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL YAS HA" ... like... stfu... you all need to go outside and get some vitamin D you pasty cunts."

"I wanna mention how I actually find the blog mean and feel sorry for those being unfairly ridiculed by a greasy online addict. I found ___ a bit annoying in my game, and he got on my nerves a bit... But he's told me he wants to return and hopes I'll let him... So I probably will eventually. I mean surely that's a nice thing that he cares about wanting to play again regardless or how I feel about him."

"I cant stand _____ and think he's such a bad player who I'll never ask back.... But will I un-provokingly attack him in a blog about it? No."

"Shawn is annoying."

manalord
Millzipede
KidA
XJamzX
PeaceOut14
Alyxandra
Timster
SurvivorFan37
bowling4fun
aiwfwyattroh
TotsTrashy
Joeker
dragotistic
TheEclipse
CharlieBibi
bigben1996
_JB_
Patrick319
DylanBTBT
NJKoda1998
cjuddy
Fobbyiyg
ItsOfficial
BBlover96
Arcaninemaster
robulusjgreisonne
JetsRock12

Comments

if this isn't copied then damn bitch luzon

Sent by HowLovely,Aug 10, 2015

i'm literally eric trump

Sent by Fobbyiyg,Aug 10, 2015

"Trying to contradict him is like giving manalord a dictionary -- it's a waste of your fucking time."

LOL @ Manalord's speleng xD.

Sent by Number1SurvivorFan,Aug 10, 2015

lmfao you raped the fuck out of the synonym option of microsoft word didn't ya

Sent by Millzipede,Aug 10, 2015

thesaurus.com was actually more helpful millzipede

Sent by Luzon,Aug 10, 2015

lmfao you raped the fuck out of the synonym option of microsoft word didn't ya

Sent by SurvivorFan37,Aug 10, 2015

computer programs are so advanced you can rape them now

Sent by SurvivorFan37,Aug 10, 2015

S U P E R S U C C 2000 survivorfan37

Sent by Luzon,Aug 10, 2015

Luzon YOU LOOK LIKE TWO CATERPILLARS KNIT THEIR COCOONS ON YOUR FOREHEAD YOU SNOT NOSE BITCH

Sent by SurvivorFan37,Aug 10, 2015

Does this guy even WEAR a suit?

Fuck him

Sent by Renegade628,Aug 10, 2015

Luzon
*cries real tears*
This was beautiful

Sent by SuitMan13,Aug 10, 2015

It's almost like millzipede is really one of those self-help people that has an online persona dedicated to making everyone else look better by comparison

Sent by SurvivorFan37,Aug 10, 2015

Renegade628
Oh rip

Sent by SuitMan13,Aug 10, 2015

wow Jacob bae I taught we where sluts in arms. Dont shade me! #allhailflopma13

Sent by manalord,Aug 10, 2015

you even made a typo in the hashtag, it's too easy :( manalord

Sent by Luzon,Aug 10, 2015

Jacob words are always meaningful.

Luzon

Sent by bigben1996,Aug 10, 2015

lmaoooo

Sent by thewinner,Aug 10, 2015

Sticking a Godless being with a picture of God seems kinda disrespectful tbh... Disappointed Luzon

Sent by BENLINUS,Aug 10, 2015

BENLINUS has spoken. He is the only one superior to me so he must be correct.

Sent by SuitMan13,Aug 10, 2015

All hail Jacob

Sent by Js21,Aug 10, 2015

For the record I want you to return

Sent by aiwfwyattroh,Aug 10, 2015

same.

Sent by JosephinaAlexis,Aug 10, 2015

why didnt you ask me for a testimonial

Sent by obscurity,Aug 10, 2015

Am I expected to read all of this?

Sent by Alyxandra,Aug 11, 2015

http://www.tengaged.com/design/id-189366/grin
Please + in return? :)

Sent by RobiLee,Aug 11, 2015

I dont know how to respond to this

Sent by NJKoda1998,Aug 11, 2015

this is so true every single word I read was the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth and I commend you for this honestly

fantastic *claps*

Sent by blueu22,Aug 11, 2015

oh wow

Sent by KidA,Aug 11, 2015

Majestic.

Sent by bearclaw1212,Aug 11, 2015

lol this guy is something else...he accepted me in one of his seasons but i canceled before the season started because i got invited to do an all-star season of another series and he got really pissy at me. i felt bad but #noregrets because i won it :P

Sent by Zuelke,Aug 11, 2015

I'm honestly shocked that all these group game blogs are hitting the top lol

Sent by Brandonator,Aug 11, 2015

SurvivorFan37

You caught me.

Sent by Millzipede,Aug 11, 2015

no one cares

Sent by BigBrotherFan132,Aug 11, 2015

http://i.imgur.com/QIMOfmi.png BigBrotherFan132

Sent by Luzon,Aug 11, 2015

I fucking wept at this

Sent by AndThenThereWasOne,Aug 12, 2015

lmao wat
mess

Sent by MongoMan,Aug 21, 2015

I didn't even write this

Sent by Luzon,Aug 19, 2016

https://bit.ly/2Hi5VLo

Sent by SuitMan13,Apr 20, 2018

Luzon's blogBlog

Flopman13

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