So earlier this week i found out i was pregnant..right before i was due to fly to Dubai for a 3 week holiday over the Christmas holidays. Me and my partner decided that it would be best if we didn't keep it..purely because we want to live our lives and achieve our goals and bring a baby into the world where we have everything we could possibly give it. I love my partner so much and the thought of getting rid of something that is half him and me is just terrible, because it would of been the most beautiful thing!!
Unfortunately, the doctor said we couldn't do anything until we came back off our holiday :( So for 3 weeks i have to remain pregnant and endure the sickness, the pain and the guilt. I'm writing about this because i don't want to forget, everybody has advised me to try not to think about it but how can i not? A baby is growing inside of me and i'm letting it and it breaks my heart.
However, i know that deep down this is the right decision. You have to be cruel to be kind. At the age of 20 I'm still so young and still a lot of things to do with my life! It's a saddening situation but I know i will look back and i know it was the best decision.
Thanks for reading.
Comments
aw sophie! i hope everything is okay for you. if you need someone to talk to i'm a mail away :)
oh my gosh soph thats so hard! Im so sorry that you have to go through this, but in the end you gotta do what you believe is the right choice. Stay strong < 3
Sorry but I don't support the abortion. You should really think about what you're doing. It's not baby's fault you two decided to make it. That baby is yours, if he doesn't want to keep it up, then you deff should raise it. Being a mother is the best thing a woman can achieve and if you think '' you have everything and want to live your life '' without raising that baby you're so so wrong. Btw, you're not old to be a mother, that would just be better for your kid that when he gets older you will be younger and enjoy your time with him/her. However, it's your choice. Good luck!
I respect everyone's opinions, obviously i didn't expect everyone would agree with my decision but at the end of the day i have to put myself first and think about the impact it would have on me and my future. Of course it's not the baby's fault but in life we are faced with some terrible situations and this is one of them. It's not a situation i want to be in or happy about and if things were different we would have kept it. But it's not and that's something i have to live with. Thankyou everyone for support, it's much appreciated!!
Why not give up the child for adoption, sophiesanf. I'm sure there are many couples (many gay couples too) that would be more than willing to raise the child as one of their own. :)
tbh I think your decision is kind of selfish. You could have used better protection. I would give up the child to a family who might want it. I have a close family friend that has struggled with getting pregnant and it's hard to see people killing their own babies when other people can't even have one.
To all the people suggesting adoption, i have thought about it i know i wouldn't be able to do it.
If i could i would keep it in an instant but deep down i am not ready and i know it. Personally, i think it takes a lot of courage for a pregnant women to say she's not ready because i want nothing more to look after it and keep it safe because it's growing inside of me, its mine. It's a massive decision and if you're not ready, you're not ready. I'm not ready to give birth and give it away. it would break me. Maybe that is selfish but do not think one minute that i'm not paying the price. This will be with me forever.
I respect your decision but loopulle is right. Adoption would not be giving it away it would be giving the baby its best chance to succeed in the world. If you think an abortion is the best choice then it is your decision but i think it is worth giving adoption a second though
Should have used protection during sex or abstained
there are so many couples that do not have the luxury of being pregnant whether straight or gay or whatever that would LOVE the opportunity to adopt children
I know a few couples myself that are looking to adopt. Just because you bring the baby into the world does not mean it would not be cared for. I just think you should have thought about this before you messed around
I'm not going to tell you that you have to have the baby and give it up for adoption if you really don't want it, nor will I say abort it ASAP if you don't want to be a mother yet.
I've never actually spoken to you so take what you will from the opinion of someone over the internet, but instead of rushing to the decision of what you're going to do now, take the 4 weeks you have to "waste" with the baby inside you and think of the pros and cons of both having the child and aborting it.
Use the time you have and think about the situation from every point of view; ultimately the choice is yours and I don't think anyone's comment on this blog will actually change your mind, but if you take anything from any of these comments whatsoever, let it be that you have 4 weeks to make up or change your mind, so don't count down the days until you can have an abortion, but instead use each day to continue to think what the best option is for you and your partner.
I support whatever decision you make because in the end it will be right for you, and I wish you luck!
End of the day bits your decision but based off some things you habe said i will just offer this tidbit of advice...if you are already tjinking about it this much maybe you may need to reevaluate what you truly want to do and make sure you are 100%...
if you cant bear the thought of giving it away how is it gonna make you feel knowing you aborted it...its oart of the decision ma y overlook until after the fact and one i have heard is the biggest regret of several i have known...
you have 3 weeks it seems so take the time to make sure you are ready to truly abort and familiarize yourself with all the downsides that come with abortion to the mother...spend a few hours researching both options (abortion vs adoption)...as i said at the beginning its your decision in the end i just hope to see you make one that makes you truly content...
Have you ever thought about Adoption there are a lot of woman who cant have kids and now you are willing to kill one all i am saying is its your choice but you should think about other options and trust me when i say you will regret it sophiesanf
You mentioned that you've got 3 weeks of guilt left.
You're going to be feeling much more guilty when you get an abortion... Who knows how long that guilt will last .. Forever?
Please rethink your decision.
Please don't let anyone change your mind about this. It's your decision and I fully understand and support your reasoning! This is up to you, not up to the ones trying to change your thoughts
I'm seriously crying at how many people on a site where the population is predominantly gay are against abortion. Like for real? None of these people commenting know what the nine months she'd have to endure would be like. It's her decision, and why you all care so much about a 3 week old "baby" that isn't even life yet is beyond me. sophiesanf, everyone is only concerned about this because it gives them the opportunity to judge someone else and makes everyone feel better about themselves or something.
Thousands of people die each day from hunger, violence, etc etc etc and I don't see you all taking up the cause donating money to your local food banks to prevent THOSE lives from being lost. Stop caring about this "life" only because you can directly place blame on this poor girl, it ain't your decision to judge this and hold such a double standard.
Don't let anyone affect your decision. Only you know your exact situation and shame on anyone trying to convince/guilt you into making any other decision. It's not their body, and it's not their life. It's very easy to tell someone else how to live their life when they don't have to live with the decision.
You have three weeks. Don't think of it as time of guilt but as a time of reflection to put your life into perspective, and be sure you're making the right decision for you and nobody else, whatever that decision may be.
I do applaud your bravery here as far as posting this here. It must have taken a lot of courage.
And as a side note, again, shame to all that try to judge her or guilt her into making this decision for anybody else; ESPECIALLY those of you that I've seen go on huge rants about civil rights in ANY form.
sophiesanf Regardless of right or wrong, there are millions of people in this world that can't have babies and would do anything to be lucky enough to raise a child.
Idk, if it was me, it would effect me negatively for the rest of my life. But i'm an emotional person, so, do what you think is best.
that is SO selfish. there are sooo many couples out there who want children and can't have one. I get that you are young and have other things you want to do. So as you played around and you are now pregnant due to that fact do the right thing and give the child a chance at life too.
It's not just her life, it's the life of the baby too.
And the person talking about people dying of hunger, that's a completely different situation.
You say you won't be able to get over the guilt of giving it away... but you can cope with the guilt of killing it? I don't know, I just think there are better solutions... but like other people said. You still have plenty of time to think, good luck :)
i just read a few more of your comments you posted here sophiesanf......you mentioned that giving it away would kill you.....but how do you think you will feel for the rest of your life if you go thru with this abortion. at least if you choose adoption you will know that your child is out there having a wonderful life because of you.
Sometimes that's the better alternative, I guess. It's better to do that than to actually have the baby and not be able to care for it and having to put it in the foster system. Still a sad situation to be in, though.
"Sometimes that's the better alternative, I guess. It's better to do that than to actually have the baby and not be able to care for it and having to put it in the foster system. Still a sad situation to be in, though."
so killing it is better than finding it a new home? I don't understand this world sometimes...
You don't want to give birth because you don't think you can give it everything it needs at the moment or you don't want to endure the 9 months of being pregnant, at the end of the day its your decision but it's not the babys fault it was created, its solely yours and your partners. The least you could do is endure 9 months and then give it away instead of killing it for something it had nothing to do with
The bigger question is do your parents know or will they know? I feel like youre trying to get rid of it early to avoid telling your parents..?
It is your choice and you have the right to choose but I do think you should seriously think this through a little more.
I was born into a pretty crappy situation where my mom was on crack and prostituting herself for money and she could have easily aborted me and gone on with her life. Instead she didn't and I was placed into Foster care right when I was born and I was placed with my now-adopted mom.
Even though my biological mom wasn't ready to have kids, (Heck, she's still not ready,) she ended up giving me up for adoption and I'm so glad she did because I have a very loving circle of family and friends and I know I'm going to be able to do something with my life. I hope that you do take this into account and think about not how going through this pregnancy will make you feel but how your unborn child can change the world if you give him a chance. :)
Meyaar I don't agree with this in any circumstance! If you and your partner are not ready for the responsibility of a child, don't have sex or use the proper protection to prevent it... Taking a life because it's inconvenient is wrong any way you put it!
