I moved across the country away from my childhood home. I have stability now, am in graduate school and am making great personal progress. My girlfriend, a counselor, knew something was wrong when my family came out to visit me last July. She thought it was odd a 25 year old man (me) was laying with his mom in the grass, kissing her on the mouth, and holding her hand in public while baby talking. I thought nothing was strange, I was completely unaware.
After she brought some sense to how enmeshed we were by explaining that texting her every 20 minutes was not normal, or sending her selfies from the gym was not normal...I went no contact. So far I've been no contact since August, so about 8 months. Dad saw everything that happened when I was at my childhood home, he saw her spooning with me in her bed, giving me raspberries on my stomach and kissing me on the mouth. He said nothing about it, this was 'normal' in my old home. This went on from when I was about 2-3 to until I left home when I was 23. This of course led to a myriad of issues like depression, porn addiction, etc. which I won't go into. We were never naked together but she would come to sit by me while I was naked in the bath. So there were passive and active elements of the abuse.
After 2 months of no contact, Dad flew out to confront me about why I wasn't talking to Mom. He said she has needed me, is a nervous wreck, and told me to stop punishing her. At that point I almost caved in. And then I had a pivotal moment with my therapist when I realized all that physical stuff like spooning and the like had "crossed the line".
They recently employed flying monkey sister to call me 14 times in 5 minutes, harass my girlfriend on her phone through blocked numbers and there's a good chance they've booked flights to come out as a group in a few months. So I made a big decision today: I went to the county court house to begin filing a restraining order against 3 of the 4 other members of my family. I am tired of fearing for the safety of girlfriend and myself. My situation is different than anything my counselor has seen, I know there are others who have dealt with the same thing I'm going through. Please reach out if you have. They need me to detail the abuse for the R.O. I hope they understand that while I wasn't raped I was abused and this is not OK. I plan on using this group for more support as I go through this storm. You all have helped me already. This feels good to get out, to get my story out there. Thanks all.
