My mom hates my husband. Hates him. She hates that he's Russian (because dirty commie? Maybe a Russian stole her candy as a kid or something, who knows) almost a decade older than me (laying down for the patriarchy,) makes a little more money than me (patriarchy again?) doesn't put up with her shit, stands up for me, manages the finances (patriarchy again) and of course, brings me happiness, joy, and love that is in no way connected to her. She didn't know it at the time, but he also introduced me to very light bondage and domination (EVIL HORRIBLE CHUAVANIST PIG ABUSER RAPIST, etc) and after this incident, she literally considers him a criminal.
My husband and I decided that we could host Easter, so we invited most of the family, including mom. Everything seemed okay at first, except for the usual snide comments about my homemaking. Everyone was having a great time. It was good to catch up with family I hadn't seen in a while and we were all in a good mood. After the Easter lunch, we were all in the living room having some drinks and dessert. However, my mom was strangely absent...
None of us really noticed or cared because she had/has bladder and bowel problems and often will have to go to the bathroom on short notice and be there a while. Eventually, she came back and joined us, but she had this smug satisfied look on her face. After years of knowing her, this unnerved me but I kept on with the festivities.
Once it started to get a bit later in the evening, people started talking about leaving and getting ready. My cousin and his wife, my other cousin, as well as my two uncles left, leaving only my mom, myself, my aunt, her husband, and my husband and I.
We moved to the kitchen where my husband and I started cleaning up and talking with my aunt and her husband. My mom interjected here and there but was still strangely smug and silent...
Then, I tried to lift this large cast iron pot dutch oven type thing off the table. My husband rather brusquely said "No, let me do it," and took it from me, setting it on the countertop next to the other dishes. To that, my mom got this malicious gleam in her eye and said something like
"Oh yes, you always have to be dominant over her, don't you."
This was really weird, but I thought it was a jab at how "horrible and chauvanistic" he is, as she always liked reminding me and anyone that would listen. My aunt just kind of got this worried look on her face, and her husband rolled his eyes.
My mom then took the center of the kitchen and began her tirade. What follows is an approximation what she said:
"Oh yes! I saw what you had in that little nightstand. I always knew you were a sick freak. I tried to tell everyone! But no one ever listens to me. You're a sick sexual sadist! Ropes? Zipties? An ANAL plug???!!!! What are you doing to my daughter?! I should have you arrested for deviancy. I always told everyone, we can't trust you people (russians?) and here you are, allowed into this country as a privilege, and you're just...just DOING THIS to my child!!!!!
Then she turned to me, and somehow instantly that righteous rage melted into fake sympathy:
"See? I've told you so many times you need to leave this man. This is the wakeup call you need. Come home with me. Please. He won't abuse you anymore, you'll be safe."
At this point, you can imagine how my relatives were. My aunt was immediately launching into mediator mode telling my mom to calm down (she was doing this fake sniff cry thing I can't really describe) and her husband literally had his hand on his forehead and was starting at the floor.
My husband...well my husband is the quiet anger type. He just kind of tilted his head to the side and asked her why she felt the need to go into our bedroom and pick the lock on our nightstand drawer. He told her that there was no way she could have even used a key, since the key was on the keyring in his pocket.
My aunt looked somehow even more worried and started telling him not to start anything. Her husband muttered something about going into the garage and smoking a cigarette and left the room.
My mom, still sniveling and being kind of supported/hugged by my aunt, said "Well I just HAD to find proof. I mean I just knew it. I knew you were some kind of pervert. Now she can be free of you."
To this, my husband just said "Get out of our house."
Now, if you're wondering where I was in all this, I was holding onto my husband's hand for dear life and trying not to have some kind of anxiety attack. I'm pretty sure my face couldn't get any redder. This was the fist time in a long time that my mom had caused such a big scene. At this point, I was still fucking terrified of her.
I tried to say goodbye to my mom, but she wouldn't speak to me. I quickly kissed my aunt goodbye and she led my still fake sniveling mom to her and her husbands' car, as they had come together. They left.
My husband and I just kind of stood and looked at each other in the lobby, after watching them drive off. He said to me something like "I keep forgetting how crazy that bitch is. She's never allowed into our house again, okay?" She was never over after that.
To this day, I can't believe she had the audacity to pick the lock on our sex drawer, inspect the contents, and loudly proclaim them in front of my family. Like, what the fuck? I know her ultimate end game was to try and make my husband look abusive and try and make us divorce, as she has tried to do our entire marriage. She's also always been unusually inquisitive about our sex life, but I put that down to her being a nosy Narc. My husband and I kind of just laugh about this now because it's just so absurd, but it was hugely embarrassing at the time, especially for me. She, of course, told everyone in our family and friend circle and word spread quickly. Several people quietly approached me in the ensuing months offering me a place to stay if I needed to get away from my abusive husband who they had been told was "sexually torturing" and "mentally abusing and controlling" me. I denied pretty much everything and said that there was just a huge misunderstanding, but people were still wary of my husband for years after.
Never underestimate an mother's determination to ruin your life and image, I guess.
