[Jokes]
Here are a few of my favorite (dumb) jokes. I ask you, people of tengaged, what are some of your favorite jokes?
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So a panda walks into a bar, and walks up to the bartender. He says "Bartender, give me a sandwich." The bartender makes him a sandwich and gives it to the panda, and walks away.
The panda finishes his sandwich, and immediately pulls out a gun and shoots it off into the air. The bartender, frantic, runs up to him and says "WHY? WHY WOULD YOU SHOOT A GUN OFF IN MY BAR?" So the panda pulls out a dictionary, tosses it to the bartender, and says "I'm a panda, look it up."
So the bartender looks it up and reads "Panda: Giant bear-like mammal from eastern Asia, eats chutes and leaves."
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A mushroom walks into a bar, says "bartender! give me a drink!". Bartender says "sorry buddy, but we dont serve your kind here." the mushroom replies "Why not?! I'm a fun guy!"
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What's a compliment to an obtuse angle?
My you're looking acute today!
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What's the difference between a 7-11 and a smurf?
A 7-11 is a 24-hour convenience store and a smurf is a small blue fictional cartoon character.
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A bear walks into a bar, sits at the counter and doesn't open his mouth.
After a hour the bartenders asks him, why such the big pause?
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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
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What did the bartender say to the sandwich when he walked into the bar?
We don't serve food here.
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Why do bicycles always fall over?
Because they're too tired.
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bay gulls.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella around?
Fo Drizzle.
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A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything".
So the vendor hands over a super deluxe hot dog with all the sauces, relish, coleslaw etc.
the buddhist hands over a $10 bill and waits... finally he says "What about my change?"
the vendor replies "Change must come from within."
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AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE:
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Damn, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin replies "HOLY SHIT, a talking muffin!" -
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What do you like on your "bay gull" (think food)? :P