Was that a read?

annother
writing
challange

(I have plans this weekend so I wanted to knock this out early)

Hello everyone! My name is Oona Mama.

I'm Puerto Rican, but I was raised in America, so therefore I consider myself American. Now I also grew up in the ghetto but went to school in the suburbs where all the rich white folk were. You can already imagine how my childhood went.

I'd get questions like "Do you speak porter reecan?"
And I'd have to explain that I speak Spanish, yes, but being "porter reecan" is a culture, not a language. Kinda like how we're American but we don't speak American, we speak English, but I guess that's too much fancy book learnin'

Now in school, the population was 95.2% white, including the staff. That was an accurate number, I counted myself, now there's nothing majorly wrong with that but imagine putting a drop of colored paint into a bucket full of white paint. What happens? The colored paint disappears!

I began to adopt some of the mannerisms my white friends had. The hispanic community hated me! My mom would go "Dito! (that's spanish slang for Junior), Dito! Change that black shirt, it's dirty!" To which I would respond, "There's nothing wrong with being black Olga, and the fact that you get to dictate whether or not a color is dirty is oppressive and I take offense to your reverse racism tactics."

And then I proceeded to getting bruises from my mom's chancleta.

Thank you all, if I don't end this now, Doody will eliminate me.

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Best Drag

http://imgur.com/hmdPaE3

#11OclockRealness

*walks out with plastic baggie*
Sorry, I didn't know that my dog was off her leash.
*pretends to pick up dog droppings from where Oona just stood*
Thats better! Anyways, I'm Afro Amerykah and I'm the entertainment for tonight. I hope I do well. Last time I did this Taylor made me lipsync! THE NERVE. You don't submit ONE time and all of the sudden you're one of the worst of the week. Next you'll tell us that we have to actually put effort in these challenges Taylor..... Calm down Lili, I was joking! You can still scrape by with the minimum.

It's so hard to believe we're down to the top 6... probably because half the people gone didn't even submit. That's how you know this is a Doodyful's Drag Race, no one ever posts and someone wins 5 challenges in one season. Seriously, these chicks dropped quicker than I did this year on the chart. Speaking of charts, does anyone in the audience own a copy of RuPaul's "Born Naked" album? ...No?

Y'know whats sad? Some of these girls are gunning so hard for this crown, but with the thirsty and fried hair they wear on the runway you'd think they would realize the shit's never gonna stay on their head. If ignorance is bliss, some of yall must be in heaven. The efforts cute though. Some of yall are like a gay pride parade. Lots of flash, lots of gimmick, and you make people protest against you. Oh! And you enjoy tossing it out for free when people cheer for you. Some of yalls challenge performances are like Mariah Carey's whistle notes, struggling. I could go on and on about your talents, but I don't like to talk about things that are so obscure that no one would get it.

I hope no one gets their feelings hurt by my routine. Don't be mad, at least you'll get some screentime now! Maybe someone will recognize you now when you hand them their fries.

Best Drag Runway: http://imgur.com/HQMW0cv.png

Hello!! Im Odyssey Re-Snatched.

   Now, I am not gonna entertain you by reading the other queens because I was too tired. Just like some of these other bitches drag careers.

I grew up in the hood of Philadelphia and saw my father beat my mother constantly. Everyone time she blew him, i thought to myself "BITE HIS DICK OFF" but that is another story.

..I had about 7 brothers and sisters from various mothers but we all had the same dickhead dad. PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE & WHEREVER HE LAYED HIS HAT WAS HIS HOME. The different households we all lived in varied from highly religious to just straight up gender fuck. I bet you can all guess what household I came from.

Anyways, when i turned 18 i moved to NYC and lived with a crack addict named Natasha who always made me churros. I still live in this Brooklyn apartment to this day. You would think that I would get tired of churros from eating them all day but the truth is, I ALWAYS LIKED SOMETHING LONG AND SWEET IN MY MOUTH.

Thankyou for your time, we kept it fiercely real.
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Best Drag Runway: http://imgur.com/hnvPQ2H

Hey guys, gals, and anything in-between.

I guess they placed me in this slot for a specific reason, that reason being: to allow you all to laugh after that "comedy" you just heard.

Any ways, so i tend to be a impulse buyer.

Now thats all good when its stuff like new wigs, or makeup. but sometimes it can be a hassle.

Just the other day i was watching the infomercial channel, and a new product come on.

It started off my moans, and flashing colors, and then this old woman that kinda looked like Taylor's grandma got on screen to talk about this new and amazing product.

This product was "Vajdazzle" It was this machine to bedazzle, you guessed it your vagina. now my first thought was Why is g-ma Taylor talking about bedazzling her vajayjay when the could have had this hot young supermodel talking about it. but as the commercial progressed she went to talk about how it has improved her sex life. It allowed her "man candy" to  "get up" everyday.

Now the long story short is, I called and placed an order, but it wasn't just 1, i thought it was such a great product that i bought 69 of them. now i have 69 vagina bedazzlers.

Last night i sat up and decided to test it out. Anyone wanna see?

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Best drag.
http://prntscr.com/4zpoit

Lili Fields didn't post a comedy routine but she did make a runway look if you want to see it.

http://i.imgur.com/VjlIGgp.png

-Closed-