From 2016-2021, tengaged.com was my life. I was in here every waking moment of the day joining stars every week and playing shops which resulted in me being 4K in debt. Yes only 4K it’s embarrassing and hilarious but that was the amount I spent on this website and as horrible as it sounds, maybe I do or don’t regret it? Idk. I did some horrendous things in this website that are inexcusable and unforgivable and I never understood why. Everytime I disagreed with someone I felt the appropriate thing to do was harass them or spam them or dox them like that helps at all? I know the people who I doxxed and if I had the opportunity to apologize to them then yeah I would but the damage is done and that’s what it is. I had an amazing main group of friends on here towards the latter part of my time here and I showered them with gifts because I didn’t think I was good enough for them and wanted them to know that I can contribute as well despite them never giving me any appropriate or valid reason to believe they didn’t care.
I can’t blame my disability for me acting like a child but whether it was my brain or my social cues.. I didn’t realize a lot of what was going on back in the day. I didn’t realize it was as serious as it could’ve been but I never realized any boundary was being crossed and for that I can’t ever forgive myself.
The last 3 years have been a learning curve. Some days are better than others and I’ve returned here like 500 times for no legitimately good reason other than to do what I thought was right when in reality I made everything else 100x times worse.
I’m an adult now. It took a while but I’m here. I’m 26 years old and I’m way too far behind other people my age and I expected that to be the case. Doxing, threats, personal and racist, homophobic, transphobic remarks etc were never cool and never will be. Those are in the past and like I said prior if I could apologize to every single one of you who I wronged then I would but unfortunately the list is probably about 100 pages long.
That’s all I needed to say. I’ve wanted to say it but I didn’t know how. I just can’t and won’t hold any ill will against anyone who chose to put me in my place or tried to give me constructive criticism where I was too much of a child to listen. I deserved it and I wasn’t a victim. I know that now.
Comments
Dude, mad respect here. Opening up and admitting you are wrong is such a boss move. There are people behaving the same way you once did and not even thinking twice about it. The level of self awareness here is admirable. I think you’re much further on in life than you realize.
I'm happy to hear this joe. I just hope you will really change for the better. Been here long enough as well and I already encountered a lot of people with different toxic personas, but one thing for sure that makes me so proud of myself is .. I never stop being the good person that I am 12 years ago in this toxic site till now, no matter how many unkind and unpleasant words people have thrown me in my front door and no matter how many times they led me into the ugliest parts myself.
honestly from what youve told me it seems like youve changed a lot! i never thought you were a bad person to begin with because really i didnt get to know but every since youve been back youve seemed like a cool genuine dude! from what youve told me doesnt seem you use to be the way you were. thanks for sharing with us
