Lemjam's Question: I infamously said I was going to kill Brittany's family. My question to each of you is if you had to kill an entire juror's family who would it be and why? To add a little positivity, I will also ask if you had to grant one juror's family with $100,000,000 who would it be and why? Thank you!
To kill: Well since when I said this:
I will continue with that for continuity's sake.
The Perfect Recipe for Killing NJKoda1998 and His Family:
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ cup unsalted butter
1 cup white sugar
5 large eggs eggs
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups whole milk
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated milk
1 ½ cups heavy whipping cream
1 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 NJKoda
1 Mother Koda
1 Father Koda
(if needed) Sibling Koda
Since the hardest part is acquiring the human part, let's start there. Start by finding the Koda's home address. Once acquired, break in, and throw in a cannister of mustard gas to cause everyone to pass out, but not enough to kill as that would ruin the flavor.
Once you have securely bonded up your Kodas, start with Mother Koda. Sharpen your hatchet before starting, and very thinly begin to chop away at Mother Koda, much like you would a loaf of bread, until you have about 200 Mother Koda sized pieces. While you are doing this, Mother Koda will naturally make lots of noise but just blare some opera to tune her out until eventually it'll stop. Once you have your 200 Mother Koda pieces, put them in an industrial (this is key: the pieces are very cumbersome) blender, and blend Mother Koda into a nice almost soupy mixture. You'll then repeat this process with Father Koda.
Normally, this cake is made with three layers: Cake, filling, and topping. However, since we are adding the Kodas, there will be a fourth layer as well. There are 4 types of milk in the filling and topping (whole milk, condensed milk, evaporated milk, and heavy cream). This is an excellent cake for milk lovers!
Step 1: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour one 9x13 inch baking pan.
Step 2: Sift flour and baking powder together and set aside.
Step 3: Cream butter or margarine and the 1 cup sugar together until fluffy. Add eggs and the 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract; beat well. After this, beat NJ Koda as well for good measure.
Step 4: Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture 2 tablespoons at a time; mix until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pan.
Step 5: Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes. Pierce cake several times with a fork. While you are at it, pierce NJ Koda with a fork several times as well.
Step 6: Combine the whole milk, condensed milk, and evaporated milk, and the mixture of Father and Mother Koda together. Pour over the top of the cooled cake.
Step 7: Whip whipping cream, the remaining 1 cup of the sugar, and the remaining 1 teaspoon vanilla together until thick. Spread over the top of cake. Be sure and keep cake refrigerated, enjoy!
Step 8: Serve to NJ Koda!
As NJ Koda eats the delicious tres leches cake, sobbing because his parents are dead but also because they taste so yummy, prepare some foil for any leftovers so you can enjoy later. Now that the NJ Koda is truly broken, leave him in a room with one final piece of cake. As he gobbles it down, disgusted with himself but helplessly addicted to the intoxicating flavor of his parents, he will unknowingly chomp right onto a tiny little ball, which explodes into a massive spiked ball, exploding his head like a blueberry from the inside out.
The End.