Connor_:
Creativeness: 5/10: I struggled with this one. I see what you were trying to do, put a laid back spin on Sci-Fi. Maybe it could of worked, if there was more build up and a little longer. Maybe it wasn’t my cup of tea. I really get your style, but I think you haven’t found that it factor yet.
Understandable: 7/10: Again it’s the mistakes that let you down. It makes me stop and work it out, rather than letting me sit back and enjoy the story. Also it seemed a little too laid back. Why wasn’t he panicking. You have to put emotions into the story. If I couldn’t move and my friends were in the same problem, then I wouldn’t say ‘guess that my fear maybe wasn't so irrational after all’
Originality: 5.5/10: It’s something I’ve read, watched, seen before. Not saying it was bad, just needed a little more added. I’m sorry.
Overall: 5/10: I wanted to like it, I tried to like it and I did like it. But after reading some of the other stories this one fell flat compared to others. It needed more emotion, more grit. Give me something to care about! You posted your story on time so you lose no points.
22.5/40