1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse more...
How to shower like a man -
1) Throw clothes on floor so wife/mom/woman can pick them up for the laundry
2) Look in mirror and flex for 10 minutes
3) Get in the shower and act like you know what you're doing, accidentally putting soap in hair and shampoo on your body in the process
4) Dry off, flex in mirror again, put on deodorant (and cologne)
5) 10 minutes later roll in a pile of mud to get that Man stench you just lost back
Actually, it's unhealthy to shampoo your hair every day. You're supposed to do it like twice a week, but condition whenever your hair is wet. I'm a #MaterialGirl, I know about this shit.
