*Jeff Probst flies in hanging off of a helicopter*
"Welcome to Survivor: Presidential Race! This year the 14 candidates are playing to become: the President of the United States of America! This method for picking the President is admittedly terrible, but it makes more sense to me than the electoral collage."
"The 3 democratic candidates will pick the tribes in a schoolyard pick. Let's see what happens."
We see all 14 candidates on the island, O'Malley, Bernie, and Hillary all standing on different colored mats.
"Hillary gets first pick, Bernie gets second, and Martin gets last. Hillary, which Republican do you choose first?"
Hillary picks Mike Huckabee.
Bernie picks Rand Paul.
Martin picks Ted Cruz.
Hillary picks Ben Carson.
Bernie picks Carly Fiorina.
Martin picks Marco Rubio.
Hillary picks John Kasich.
Bernie picks Jeb Bush.
Martin picks Chris Christie.
Hillary picks Rick Santorum.
Bernie gets Donald Trump.
Team Recap:
Team Hillary: Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, John Kasich, Rick Santorum
Team Sanders: Rand Paul, Carly Fiorina, Jeb Bush, Donald Trump
Team O'Malley: Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Chris Christie
"Wait how is this fair? I only get 4 people while Bernie and Hillary's tribes get 5!"
"Shut up Martin you're going to lose anyways," Probst proclaims "and your first immunity challenge starts right now! This challenge is called... nose goes!"
Team Sanders touched their noses the quickest, giving them immunity, and Team Hillary followed shortly.
"Team O'Malley, I will see you at tribal council tonight."
O'MALLEY CAMP
Everyone was on the search for an idol. Martin O'Malley found it very quickly. Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio quickly formed an alliance.
"Chris Christie is really fat, and that's kind of gross. And Martin is a whiny bitch." Ted Cruz said. Marco Rubio agreed, but they didn't know who to vote for.
"I think they're conspiring against us, Chris," Martin said as Ted and Marco were out in the woods, "and stop trying to eat the bamboo in the shelter god dammit!"
At tribal, Jeff asks Martin O'Malley what camp was like after the challenge.
"I think I was given a disadvanta-"
"Okay, I'm sick of Martin O'Malley's voice, so let's get to the vote."
Martin writes Marco's name down. "Your smile makes everyone uncomfortable."
"Okay, I'll read the votes. If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so."
"Me!" Martin shouted.
"K." Jeff Probst said, validating the idol.
"First vote: Martin. Does not count."
"Second vote: Martin. Does not count."
"Third vote: Marco Rubio."
"First person voted out of Survivor: Presidential Race, Marco Rubio. Grab your torch and stuff. Your tribe has spoken."
