(i got plans so I wanna knock this out as early as possible)

Me name es Sofia Vergara, I am de star of Modarn Famely, and I'm here to play DE SNAHTCH GANE !!!

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the gold. I rhyme see. See! .... si.

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him waiting in lines behind the mannequins. I match si? See? This game is so easy, I can do it with back behind my hands.

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a-dobo!"
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41n8claZHlL._SY300_.jpg
AHHHHHH me gusta mucho adobo, when Manolo was just un bae-by I used to use it instead of the baby powder, he smelled so juicy, MANOLO, REMEMBER THAT AHAHAHA.

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her the motion of the ocean." Ru, come closer. Guessa what I meant. Just guess, it's funny. Oh you don't know? Come closer. Closer. I MEANT HIS PEE PEE, AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA UN CABRON!

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a crystal queer.” What? Did I say something. A queer. Ay dios mio not like the gays I meant squeer, like a shape. Please forgive my english, it's a no goode.

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she broke her face. Because she say the humilation in the face from the ice. and she broke herself. It was funny in my head, okay? Ok.

http://imgur.com/gODLEkw

http://i.imgur.com/YDlfQd2.png

It's me Kate Gosselin you also may know me for my kids. Or as the woman who had a show about bi-racial Asian sextuplets on TLC.
Before we begin I would just like to say how appalled I am. This is not something I'd like my kids seeing me do. This is an adult oriented program. So Cara and Maddie turn the TV off NOW.
As for the rest of you, you should be in bed by now.

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the priveleged." See where I grew up I wasn't given much but a slap on the wrist and I'd have to call it a day. Women like her should be doing something with the kind of money they have like putting it to good cause. It still doesn't click with my kids on how good they have it made.

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him slapping the mannequins. I've said it before and I'll say it again I have never slapped my kids. http://www.hollywoodheartbreaker.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/kate.jpg I think slapping is worth getting kicked out of a store just as much as it's worth me not being in jail.

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a woman go into the cockpit ." Not that I've experienced suspicious women ruining my life before...

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her the divorce papers." Is it deja vu for anyone else? Jon? Liz Jannetta? Moving on...

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a Magic 8 Ball.” Willing I be getting a divorce? *Shakes* http://cdn.moneysmart.sg/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/2426454804_06648486e3_z.jpg

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she breaks the trust with her husband she once had. I'm not bitter I can just relate to

You can pic of my book on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble and you can also have this exclusive family photo. http://i.imgur.com/ah1R7fY.png

http://i.imgur.com/j4QfUDW.png

I am SEXPERT Auntie Angel (I censored it for any children at home watching or taking notes)

(Watch this if you have no idea who she is)


1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the Departed." This is one sex tip thats works GREAT for any mature people out there. Simply get your spouse's ashes, mix it with water and oil and you make the most amazing lubricant. Put it on an object of your choice and fuck it all night long just like your honeymoon.

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him "Sweet and Lowing" the mannequins. Now if Sylvester has taken any of my glasses he knows that the best way to prepare yourself for sex is simply taken some sugar, rub it all over the mannequin's hand, and shove it so far up your pussy that your partner gets diabetes whenever he goes down. Work's especially well for bottoms *stares at Irina*

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had N64 controller." Now Stephanie is an uncultured swine so she doesn't know the big, bulky controller can be used to pleasure yourself is in more ways that one at the same time ;)

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her the Pokemon trading cards." Phil may be a weak ass bitch in the bedroom but there is no woman who can say no to shoving a nice ripe Lickitung or Cloyster card shoved deep into your uterus. The perfect mixture of plastic and paper makes for the most wonderful feeling. See how many YOU can collect Ru.

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a wand." She finds it much easier to see the future when she does it like this http://www.tubechop.com/watch/3518275 .

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she broke the ARTPOP CDs. In the bedroom shoving CDs on your nipples and making them spin for hours and be both erotic and psychedelic. Unfortunately Gordana didn't pay attention in class and ruined her precious CDs. It's okay though Gaga could use the extra money.

So, This is such a random decision but I'm gonna be MARIAH CAREY, Queen Lamb - Mimi - Mariah - Lord and Savior, whatever. Here to serve you Ice Cold Butterfly, a melodic beverage inspired by me, now available at CVS. Please no questions http://38.media.tumblr.com/777e64ef7a8c5d9e62ceda33da936596/tumblr_naxb4ieBJf1rfduvxo1_250.gif - my life is a 1990's mystery.

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1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the ______.
    - The Old and The Forgotten; poor lamb. Not even a S E P E R A T I O N, just a seperation... to keep them talking...not even a hot selling ring-tone or a QVC ad?

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him ______ the mannequins.
     - They caught him moving them around and ruining my damn set. I can't film another TARGET commercial with this tomfoolery. Christmas Time is not a time of confusion and delay.

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a ______ ."
     - A working microphone. I can't even hear the play back. Something can't be right here. This is gonna be Glitter all over again isn't it...

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her ______."
     - All she wanted for Christmas? Until you touched her body? Honey? Sorry, He seems like my "husband", Not much I have to say...

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a _____.”
     - A bottle of windex, Saw thru Eminem's skin, could see into my future.

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she ________.
     - ... why do i have to tell you about these peoples' lives I mean I hope they are okay. All I can hope is that she didn't meet my "husband".

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Giving you what I do best, Collecting Royalties: http://i.imgur.com/ThQLE9o.png

http://i.imgur.com/ELDFXoH.png
With another bun in the oven, it's me Kourtney Kardashian, and tonight on Keeping up with the, oh wait I mean sssschratch game I finally come out of my sister's shadow.

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and __
I wrote down, The Old and the Kardashians, because everything with my last name on it, is pretty much the best thing on Earth.

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him ____
They caught him being so rude the mannequins, I don't tolerate rude, and I don't think stores would either, sorry. Not sorry. 

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a _____
The pilot had a whole bunch of negativity in his aura, which really is just really toxssic to be around.

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I
I wrote down, gave her an engagement ring, because take it from me, if you don't get it then, you won't ever get it honey.

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into_____
I would defintely have to say, she gazez into dragon herb pills, because they are as clear as a crystal ball, and they also are super healthy and hollistic, I'm kinda bout that life.

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she____
breaks the ratings like my show does every Sunday at 9.

http://i.imgur.com/4pNFYbU.png

Right off her appearance on CBBUK and other shows such as I love money, Charm School &  Rock of love  its Frenchy!

*also side note try to read all answers in a french accent to get a better feel for it*
or watch this vid to get a feel for her accent http://tinyurl.com/kw46nxl

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the French! cause its me Frenchy and who doesnt love a good french lady!

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him f###ing the mannequins. I mean what else would he be doing to them, besides dressing them in pink or fucking them with his cock!

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a french slut on his lap." And it wasnt even me what the fuck, if it was me he could give me a good ride in two ways!

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her money." I mean if i had alot of money and I was pathetic which by the way i dont know what that means, but i think it means you want sex.

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a Crystal dildo.” I mean if i cant look in a crytal ball id rather look in the cock instead of the balls!

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she has sex with them. I mean I do it all the time why cant her!

YAX GOODBYE IM LEAVING YOU ARENT REAL

btw the challenge is getting extended til monday night at the same time. So continue working on your challenge if you haven't submitted and feel free to resubmit if you already have

They call me RENNY!!! http://imgur.com/IvJdY7g.png

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the ______.
OLD? WHO YA CALLING OLD???????? I'M NOT FUCKIN OLD.

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him ______ the MANNEQUINS.
DIS-RE-SPECKT-IN EM. YOU GOTTA GIVE RESPECT TO GET RESPECT.

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a ______ ."
MCCAIN2012 BUTTON. HE'S A REPUBLICAN AND THATS FUCKIN CHILDISH.

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my WATER BED until I gave her ______."
SOME GOOD OL' FASHION MARVIN GAYE. I KNOW THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET ME ROARIN AND HUMPIN. AM I RIGHT LADIES? *cackles*

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a _____.”
AUBURN JERSEY. IT'S INAPPROPRIATE!!!! SHE SHOULD KNOW LSU IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON EARTH RIGHT BEHIND RED WIGS AND STRAPLESS BRAS.

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she ________.
GAVE ME THIS SHIRT TO WEAR. http://imgur.com/Y6uHbP7.png

i came back to the group to see what was happening and everything is just happening so much

Michelle: Introducing, from her computer chair, from somewhere in California, L'Oreal Starbursts!!!

http://i.imgur.com/NsG3r8s.png
L'Oreal: hey you guysss

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1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the ______.

~ Well, I'm not sure who exactly Cher is because she doesn't have 10 #1 singles and 2 albums in a row to hit #1 on th billboard charts, so I just answered "Sterling's bacon grease jar" :)

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2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him ______ the mannequins.

~ Sylvester is stupid and so is Yax. That's my answer. Fuck Yax.

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3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a ______ ."

~ You know, Michelle, both me and Stephenie suffer from a lack of self confidence, so I wrote down what I thought she would say. I can't read it though because all my tears smudged the paper when I realized The Appetizer copied my look in season 1.5, so my answer is the opposite of what Sterling said

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4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her ______."

~ I don't have much to give Judy, so I wrote down a plaid shirt and one of the few copies of PRISM I own without s*m*n and tears on it

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5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a _____.”

~ *there's no answer for this question because l'oreal has already quit the game by now*

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6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she ________.

~ *wipes In 'N Out crumbs off of mouth* Is that Yax's mom???

Introducing, the original, animated, foul-mouthed, big breasted, ghetto-fabulous, reality-TV-goddess! It's........... Tiffany Pollard! Better known as New York!

1) Cher is going to star in a new soap opera and it's going to be called "The Old and the ______.

"The Old and the Divine. I mean, have you seen her? Bitch hasn't aged a day in almost 25 years. I know you aren't trying to tell me that there isn't some voodoo witchcraft shit going on there."

2) Stupid Sylvester was thrown out of the department store when they caught him ______ the mannequins.

"He was thrown out for yelling at them. If there is one thing I can't fucking stand, it's stupid ass noisy bitches!"

3) On the airplane, Suspicious Stephanie said to Jessica, "I don't have much confidence in this airline. I just saw the pilot and he had a ______ ."

"He was listening to Flavor Flav! Why the fuck would anyone ever listen to that fucking backstabbing bitch!

4) Pathetic Phil said, "Judy wouldn't even go near my water bed until I gave her ______."

"Three shots of Tequilla. Dumb fucking bitch. Who the fuck is afraid of water beds!?

5) “Madame Lazonga is a discount fortune teller — instead of using a crystal ball, she gazes into a _____.”

"She just uses a bowling ball and LOTS of liqour."

6) Goofy Gordana is so goofy, that instead of breaking the ice she ________.

"She breaks her fucking nail while I am fucking her ass up for trying to take my man!"

NEW YORK IS IN THE MOTHA FUCKING HOUSE! - http://i.imgur.com/kiV6gmR.png