ABOUT FUCKING TIME

*walks onto the stage* hey so I know what your thinking..... OMG a big gurl! first off i'm not big i'm fat ok, and now that i'm in college it is more apparent then ever that i'm fat as fuck. I mean i'm in culinary school and I ripped in the biggest pants they had for the uniform in two. yeah and I know what you're thinking well how big were they. and the answer is an 8x. Also since I've started college I've realized something i'm not the craziest person in my profession classes. seriously this one bitch is currently living with an ex of hers secretly while she's dating someone else. can you say hot mess. now Saturday I went to my first college party and I got drunk under the table by a 39 year old mother of two who woke up the next morning popped a Tylenol and said stop bitching at least you don't got to go to church and drink some more. Then it became clear why she out drank me. she's catholic they're alcoholic by nature. and lastly I would like to take a moment to remember the true queen of mean joan rivers by saying joan *looks up the immediately looks down* you will be missed deeply. thank you guys for listening your a great audiance

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2iuckgm&s=8 my look giving you ice cream realness

WAIT I WON THIS CHALL IN SEASON 1

CAN I COPY AND PASTE JUST LIKE GIRAFFEZ DID?

Bitch I did not copy and paste ok learn to read bitch

Stand Up Look: http://i.imgur.com/oidIjcO.png

Sorry I'm late to the party; I was looking for my sense of humor. It took me two seasons to find it, but don't worry everyone I'm here! Now, you might have a bad taste in your mouth after Giraffez' performance, but just remember that she has a worse taste in her mouth since the bitch probably hasn't brushed her teeth in a week! Now I empathize with her a bit: I'm a working college student as well, but if you're gonna brag about how educated you are at least learn how to spell AUDIENCE*. Or even your own perfume line, SAFARI*. damn. Moving onto Rehab, I thought I'd give you a moment in the spotlight since you usually just blend right in with Diane, Cilantro and literally every female avatar on the site. Enjoy your recognition now because I'll sure as hell forget about you all immediately after you all sashay away! Aliya and I have been close friends both in this season and our original season. You know how all the pretty girls have ugly friends to take pictures with to make themselves look better in comparison? I'm the pretty friend. Potato Faminé, it's nice to be competing with you again! It's good to know that I have someone in line to be eliminated before me again. Oh yeah, and let me just reiterate that I love how reflective your name is of your drag: disastrous. If there's anyone else I forgot to read, I obviously couldn't be bothered to remember your name or existence. OK everyone, I'm just about as exhausted from reading everyone as Giraffez is after she walks from the fridge to her bed. Enjoy the rest of the show!

http://gyazo.com/7c74a6221488689caaaeeb6a8a2d31e6

Hello Hello HELLO Everyone The drama has arrived! My name is Diane De Drame and im going to make yall pee yourselves with laughter! Im sure you have already heard other Queens and i promise i wont be like Giraffez and make you as bored as watching a cardboard box outside in the sun! But anyway ive always been called the fishy queen and ive always been called out for wearing the same things but HEY? Its my style... I am a fishy Queen. Fish has been in my family since the 1960s when the Hause of Drame Was formed by my Drag mama Samantha De Drame and she always told me "Do whatever the fuck you want Diane just dont make a fool of yourself on national Tv"... Straight from my Mommas Mouth to I stuck by that motto and look where i am today? Right Now i could shade Miss Chi for not standing out much in the game whatsoever and I could also shade Potato for picking her outfits fresh out of the garbage can behind Kmart. Girrafez thinks shes cute aswell but she is all talk and no impression. She comes out in Dollar Tree realness Hunny.. If thats couture and im not.. I might as well just stop right here.. But i wont just for yall.. Aliya is a Couture Queen In my opinion but gurl... Step it up or you wont be winning this competition and thats just me being real.. If theres anyone else im sorry but I cant be bothered to say cause im a busy gurl and I need to leave soon I heard they opened a Chipotle close by...
It was such a pleasure to be here Live love Be happy and Dont be Girrafez xoxo

Aliya Neptune Runway: http://i.imgur.com/0vpiHGo.png
I am giving you, Queen of Alien realness!!

Hello you sexy crowd!!!! It's your girl Aliya Neptune, I come from the planet Neptune except on Friday nights I like to come to Uranus. So let me tell ya'll about these ratchet ass girls i have to deal with in this ratchet ass competition.

Rehab- Dear ol Rehab, You remind me so much of Lindsey Lohan....You keep getting chances to show you deserve to be here but ya keep fuckin up girl......Such a sad individual for All-Stars.

Diane De Drame- I got 3 words for you, Ditch Da Drapes. You comin out looking like you just cut up some of yo hotel cutains and called it Gucci. Your shit is tacky, your shit is weak, your shit aint got shit on me.


Giraffez Doris Buckel- I'm sorry but this is Tayvie's DRAG RACE. Not the Miss Pot-Bellied Pig Pageant. If I wanted to see you wobble around on a stage I'd go to the fuckin state fair. If only I had a cheeseburger for evertime you come out looking like Welfare Realness i'd be as Plump as you.

Potato Faminé- I've always been offended by your name but what offends me most is that tayvie considers you an All-Star when really you were like the Potato Famine, horrible & killed the ratings by a million when you were announced in the cast.

Odyssey Snatched- Girl, Tayvie gave you a second chance and I have yet to see Odyssey Snatched I've only been seeing Odyssey Struggles. Get it together, Don't be Anne Frank'ing your looks. We know you got some good stuff, put it out there already damn, getting you to win a challenge is like getting Giraffez to not cause a fucking earthquake upon the stage.

Cilantro- Sorry but I honestly forgot you were in this competition. Why are you even here? Even Giraffez...GIRAFFEZ is doing better then you. Might as well quit before you embarrass yourself even more.......such a sad individual....I'll be praying for you tonight. Ay dios mio, God help this sad hoe.

Miss Chievous- Oh!!! my good friend from Season 2, Your seconds time is like a Bad Sequel, Still you but not as close as good as the first one. Honey, did your wardrobe get lost in the Bermuda Triangle cuz I have yet to see any of them. I still love you though & will give you a shoutout when I'm in the finals & you're cheering me on in the crowd ;)


Tayvie- Your critiques are more rigged then Grodner is with Big Brother. You got on my ass & said it was lazy of me when I had caution tape on my boobs & had a story behind it but praise Rim Hijab season 2 when she just held Watermelons to her boobs. I swear you suck individuals asses like it's an ice cream cone.

HELLO GUESTS AND SLUTS
GOODBYE GUESTS AND SLUTS
*walks back to seat*

*Tayvie throws me back on stage*

Oh fuck that bitch, what do you mean I need to do the challenge.
Well, I won this challenge in Season 1 with a few knock knock jokes and the queens here are just as terrible, I mean Girraffez Doris I Need A Bigger Buckel continues to call her self fat in every challenge she does, weather thats putting on shit and claiming it's high fashion or dragging her 4 chins to the fridge. But seriously has anyone noticed how that bitch is a super skinny lil' bitch in her runways but then she puts on 200lbs in her lip sync. Talk about beefing up under pressure. Well we know she is only here because if she takes a stroke Tayvie has to pay for it cos she poor as fuck and cant afford health care.

but back to the knock knock jokes

Knock, Knock!
*Who’s There?*
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey have to use a condom?....

I'll just wait for you to laugh.

Goodbye! Vote Giraffez Doris Buckel for Miss Congeniality cos she has no chance of making finals!

SEE YOU FOR FANS VS FAVS HUNTYS

Know your Herstory

I won more fucking challenges in my season than ANY of these people so these young hoes need to respect me like they respect the pit crew.

http://i.imgur.com/gskvWlv.png Sweet and stylish!

Poll:
What was worse, 9/11 or Rehab's entrance in this competiton?

Lmao Rehab

HEY Y'all im Cilantro! And im here to make sure you all get a laugh... *points to girrafz* u see that... Well ofc you can see it! Because there is an elephant in a room!....

Now im gonna do a cheer GIVE ME AN I GIVE ME AN R GIVE ME ANOTHER R GIVE ME AN E GIVE ME AN L GIVE ME An E!  GIVE ME AN V GIVE ME AN A GIVE ME AN N. GIVE ME A T

WHATS THAT SPELL irrelevent is what  rehab is!

Lets now go to tayvie, or should i say the hairy beast i saw at the zoo today.

THANK U THANK U, hope you had a great time!

My look: http://imgur.com/AloIMUr

http://i62tinypic.com/ererya.png

Hello Audience!

Soooo here I am, on All-Stars with bitches I admired. Especially, since I came in last the last time around. Before I spray the bitch-be-gone detergent on these hoes im gonna let you know about what I did before I came here.

I was going to get me a Chicken nugget meal at Chick-Fil-A and I ordered a large fry. When I pulled up to the window, home girl was like "we are out fries" and I thought to myself "how is this company gonna hate on the LGBT lifestyle and then not have any fries.?!" OBVIOUSLY Giraffez hit this same Chick-Fil-A on the way to the competition.
Anyways, That left me on a bad note and then to walk in and see some wack bitches like Giraffez and Cilantro (Tayvie was doing the most)
Next, I saw Rehab who was the runner-up in Season 1, but she needs to be a running back and run to the end-zone of this competition. Aliya and Miss Chi should have all the challenge wins up to this point between them both, but they are too busy knocking the boots in the workroom. Potato Famine, you were high three times before u won your first challenge but the truth is that Tayvie was high all three of those times when she gave you those rankings.
Lastly, Diane De Drame, I must say your irrelevance is at an all time high and your challenge results are at an all time low.

Thank you, Audience for your time and your all beautiful. XOXOXOXO

http://i62.tinypic.com/ererya.jpg this is the look it was supposed to be... the other was a broken link