The music was really loud, but luckily I was able to talk over it, which I think my date really enjoyed. I said all sorts of awesome things like how it’s so annoying when you’re trying to do laundry and you get one of those Canadian coins that looks like a quarter, but isn’t and so you have to run back to your apartment and get a quarter. Then I started talking about how stupid pennies are and how I hate Susan B. Anthony dollars because using them makes me feel like an asshole.
When the show ended I told her that I was thinking about buying a cell phone. Then we left. I guarantee we’ll hang out again because she was having a really great time. She kept looking at her watch because she was frustrated about how fast it was flying by. I followed her to her car and I just talked and talked and talked the whole way because I’m so social! Then she got in her car, but I’m so outgoing that I stood in the way of the door so she couldn’t close it and just kept talking. I told her about how my neighbor, Darren, crapped in his yard once. Then she left. We both had so much fun! I’m going to play it cool by not acting like I care that she changed her phone number.
A teacher brought in a bag of fruit and vegetables inot her class so the kids could learn the difference between them and what not. so she put her hand inside the bag and said "this one is red, and round!" little johnny raised hhis hand in excitement, but the teacher didnt call on him becuase he always has silly answers..so she called on kez (lol) and kez said "is it an apple?" the teacher says "no, its a beat! but i like your thinking!" the next one she said was long and yellow, and again little johnny raised his hand, but she skipped over him again becuase of his ridiculous answers!
So she called on dan, and dan said "is it a squash?"
the teahcer said "no, its a banana! but i like your thinking!"
the teacher reched into the bag again and said, this is furry and kinda odd shaped.
little johnny raised his hand as high as he could because he KNEW! it! he knew for sure what it was! but pnce again, the teacher skipped over him and called on teepee, teepeee said, "is it a pear"" the teacher replied, "no its a potato, but i like your thinking!
then little johnny, all mad, stood up and said "oh yea? well i have one for you!" he stuck his hand in his pocket and said "this one is round, smoothe, and has a head on it!"
the teacher saind "johnny that is disgusting!
but johnny replied, "no, its a quarter. but i like your thinking."
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
