At least, for the time being. After Stars 27, I took another at Tengaged and wondered if I've taken anything positive from the site. I've made four good, true friends in Corey, Irvin, Stephen, and JP, but I've also lost quite a few friends in the past 9 months. And that's the thing, I never came into S27 to win, I joined for a laugh. I helped a friend who needed it, and all I asked in return was honesty. And, I guess people got caught up in the game or whatever and things just got messy and blurry. And when it came down to it, the line was drawn in the sand, and apparently for whatever reason I was cast aside by someone I cared for. I suppose the luster of being a popular kid on tengaged was too much, and so this unknown wasn't special enough to care about anymore. I wonder if the fleeting moments of being a member of HOF and giggling with Emily, Andy, Surs/whoever else is "famous" at the moment was worth it, but it wasn't my decision, it was his. And, like, I wouldn't have even cared had they voted me off/ not tried to help me/whatever, as I knew at the time I was screwed. All I wanted was for them to be straight up. That's it.
Before the game started I hadn't talked to mets ever. I hadn't seen any of his blogs unless it was one of the countless ones i had made a snarky comment on and forgotten about, hadn't noticed a game with him in it. But within the time I spent in the game he communicated more with me and was more open then my friend ever was. Were we ever really friends, or was i being used? I'll never know.
This isn't even me trying to drag this person down. They're free to make their choices, and I'm fine with the fact they came to this decision through some way, though I don't understand it. They have some different value system then I do, fair enough. And I'm not making this so I can have a top blog, either. I'd prefer it if you just leave the plus and neg button alone, thank you.
Here's to the past 9 turbulent months. I'll be back eventually, probably, I'll obviously be around for my Sims game, but will things ever be the same? I'm not sure if I could ever rebuild a trust remotely close to what I had with this person. I felt completely betrayed and for the first time in ages emotional over something I saw on the computer, sent from someone I've never met. The most contact I've had with this person is a letter and watching them in a video with a soap roll. That stupid soap roll perfectly sums up how I feel right now about the entire situation, about Stars 27, about my trying to help this person. About the skype conversations we had genuinely talking all those nights. Except I'm not a soap roll. I have ears. I got the message loud and clear.
