It is the final immunity challenge of Survivor Season 40: Legends-Jeff Probst’s backyard. The final four walk in, the trio of golden boys, Malcolm Freberg, Joe Anglim, and Chris Daugherty lead the way, with the immunity necklace on Chris’s neck. Sandra Diaz-Twine, the legendary two-time winner struggle behind, cursing and nearly tripping on a motherfg tree root. Jeff Probst yells “Come on in guys! Chris, time to give it back.” Chris reluctantly unclips the necklace, which is just a hula hoop with a clip on it and tosses it to Probst, who nearly drops it. “This challenge will consist of three parts!” Jeff Probst yells unnecessarily. “First, you will have to cross a narrow balance beam emblazoned with the words of our savior, Rob Mariano. Second, you will have to climb over a statue loosely based on an Easter Island head that actually looks like Julie Berry. If you fall off at any point, you gotta go back. For the final part, you’ll have to run up to the porch of my house.” Jeff gazes longingly at the poster of Cochran in the window. “First person to guess what my favorite podcast is wins immunity and a guaranteed spot at the final tribal council. Chris, you’ve won every single immunity so far”. Jeff looks at Chris and whispers loudly “I’m counting on you.” Sandra looks up suddenly. “F you Jeff, I heard that!” She says. The scene cuts to the 4 survivors at the starting line. Jeff stands douche-baggily on the porch of his house. “Survivors ready?” Sandra begins to reply that no, she is not ready, but Jeff yells “GO!” Joe and Malcolm are the first to reach the balance beam. They walk across it easily and proceed to climb over Julie Berry’s head. The camera pans to Chris and Sandra, who are struggling. Sandra falls before she even reaches the balance and swears. Chris reaches the halfway point before falling off. All former original Lopevi members across the country are simultaneously struck with a wave of nausea. The camera begins to pan back to Joe and Malcolm on Julie Berry’s head, but realize that they’re already on the porch. “RadioLab?” guesses Malcolm. “Close, but no.” replies Jeff flirtatiously. A commercial for medicine plays. When the show resumes, Joe and Malcolm are still on the porch. Chris is passed out from exhaustion under Julie Berry’s nose from exhaustion and Sandra has just finished the balance beam. Sandra thinks that Courtney would be proud, but doesn’t want to open her mouth for fear of a stream of curse words exploding out of it. “99% Invisible?” says Joe audibly. A 1 hour timestamp appears at the bottom of the screen. “No.” Jeff replies, sounding disappointed and bored. Sandra begins to climb over Julie’s head. It is not very difficult, as it literally has steps built into it, so she yells at Chris to get his “Weak ass up here.” Chris attempts to oblige, but slips and passes out again. Sandra shakes her head solemnly and slides down the other side of Julie’s head, enjoying the feeling of her luscious braids. As she slowly walks up to the porch, dramatic music plays. When she gets there, she looks Probst dead in the eye. “Jeff Motherf***g Probst, the answer had better not be your two hour long weekly dissection of various tunes to sing in the shower.” Probst’s cheeks briefly flush red, as he stares at her in shock. Finally, he snaps out of it. “Sandra! Wins her first individual immunity ever and a spot at the final tribal council!” Edit: I am not good at formatting, sorry.
