We said goodbye to our first "Contestant" this week, coming in 13th place, the planted first boot. Paul! All I can say Paul, is thank you SO much for letting me kill you! In such a gruesome manner too!
”What a warm welcome into my diabolic game wasn’t it? You all did quite well, I’m a bit tickled to see! Paul, oh Paul. He made it too easy, guys like him aren’t all that observant. So, in order to prepare for this, I had to pick an activity I knew Paul loved, and would never say no to, not even sober. I planted a canvas case full of bullets, and a pistol with a silencer on it at the first hole of the golf course. I had also tampered with the lamp, to make it never turn off that fateful night. Paul and I broke into the alcohol cabinet as soon as you all went to bed. Paul, having no sense of what time it was thanks to that lamp, drank, and drank, and drank, while I poured myself shots of water, water, water. Stay hydrated kids! You know what happened to Paul? He was so delusionally drunk, he lit a fire in a gas fireplace, tried to give the plant a little sip of rum, but he bumped into the table, pushing it back, and he spilled all over the couch. This was getting a bit too messy, so I proposed some midnight golf! I set the two glasses on the counter, unbeknownst to him, I didn’t waste a chilled glass on water, so only his glass created condensation. We grabbed the golf cart keys out of the box and we went outside, drove out to hole one, where I had stashed my pistol. I grabbed it while he wasn’t looking and stuffed it in the waistband of my pants, covering the hilt with my shirt. We go on, laughing, having a good time. As soon as we were far enough away from the house for you all not to hear me? BANG. There goes my pistol, right into his back. Thankfully, he died on impact, the bullet breezed by his lungs, and ripped a hole open just like I planned. However, that would have been too damn easy to solve wouldn’t it? So, I grabbed the flag from the hole, broke it, in order to create a sharp end to stab directly through his leg, also kinda stabbing into the ground. I dragged him over to the tree, and propped him up to make it look like he was still alive at this point, and slammed the golf cart right into his chest. Clean up was simple, bury the gun in the sand trap, and toss my canvas case into the forest. Untie Paul, and throw the rope behind the tree. As an added touch to tease you all, I wrote “GL;HF” on the flag in Paul’s blood, and hid it under the golf cart. Making it back to my bedroom right on time to get my perfect 8 hour rest! Voila ! If I couldn’t have him? Nobody can.”
Phoebe St. Jefferson ( #DevinWithParasites ) was the top scoring contestant this week. Following suit, Jackson ( RealJacksonWalsh ), Billy ( @RockettoKid ), Keaton ( ThisIsMyGame ), Takita ( NinJohn ), Megan ( Non-Tengaged ), Tawni ( Non-Tengaged ), Xakim ( Hisoka ), Chrissa ( Non-Tengaged ), & Lana ( Non-Tengaged ) were all Spared
While Charlie ( CharlieCakes ) & Andreiya ( Non-Tengaged ) were Scared.
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We said goodbye to our first "Contestant" this week, coming in 13th place, the planted first boot. Paul! All I can say Paul, is thank you SO much for letting me kill you! In such a gruesome manner too!