"I suggest you let me out or I'll have to eat your soul"
This is Rudolph. One of the most impossibly cute animals you could ever run across, however under that adorable exterior is the slimy blackness of pure evil. He will use you shamelessly, take your food and do things to irk you but give he cutest sad face and look up with those soulful eyes... making you feel guilty for thinking he is causing trouble. He will also go to others with his tale(tail - See wut I did thar?) of woe, brandishing the poor fool who the cat targeted that day as an evil monster. He will also seek to wound his foes by surprise attacks - including, but not limited to, striking from behind corners and slipping under feet on stairs in the dark.
...He has tried to kill me many times, I'm on to him.
Here's a fact of life: Everyone likes sick jokes. Anyone who says they don't is a damn, dirty liar.
Now, I am bored and unamused, thus I am making this page for us all to gather and amuse ourselves with the very thing all people love; sick jokes. Offer as many as you like, if ther are any very good ones offered I'll plus you or whatever the hell people do around here. Go!
What's round and hates pakis?
The World.
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I was stuck on the bus for fifteen minutes today.
Some dumb chav girl refused to pay her fare, claiming she had left her Oyster card at home, so therefore she should be able to travel for free.
The bus driver refused to move until she paid her fare, and the stupid bitch refused to get off the bus.
Every other passenger on the bus was giving her daggers, but she didn’t give a shit.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it any more. I got out of my seat, strode right up to her, and gave her a backhander across the face.
The force of the blow sent her tumbling out of the bus, sprawling onto the pavement.
“How dare you hit a defenceless woman!” she cried. “Where’s your fucking conscience?”
“I left it at home”, I replied, as the bus drove off without her.
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When it intersects a plane.
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Statistically... 9/11 Americans won't get this joke.
Ironically, 7/7 Brits will.
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So I joined my first game last night and lo and behold, this morning I am amoung the first on the chopping block of the game. This is because I said I'm better then everyone, isn't it? Or maybe it's because I zombiefied and munched on the brains of everyone in the game? Ah well, such is life.
For the record, I'm still better. Neener neener.
I already know that I am better then you so don't pester me. If you even think about arguing this fact just save us both the time and ram your head into a wall. kthxdie.
"I suggest you let me out or I'll have to eat your soul"