Honestly, I'm a little surprised it took this long given how many people I told and how sloppy I was with covering my tracks, I don't understand Reddit lol. Now that I've taken time and collected my thoughts I suppose it's time to fully come out on my own terms.
First off, I'm not a pedo. Lemme nip that little rumor right in the bud. I don't even like kids (nor do I want them) and all of the content I've posted has been strictly for 18+ audiences. (Which makes it kinda weird that people are posting my 18+ content on a site with minors, don't ya think?)
But, yeah, that's me. Has been for quite a while and honestly I'm not as ashamed of myself as I used to be. Is it a sexual thing? No, not really. Actually, I guess now's as good a time as any to also fully come out as asexual/biromantic. As Likevines20 can vouch, I don't like sex or sexual activity in general (and also I kept this little habit of mine hidden from her until long after we split).
It's mostly just a coping mechanism I've developed to deal with childhood trauma and helps to calm my anxiety which can overwhelm me at times if not kept in check. I am in full control though and am not that person 100% of the time, or even a majority of the time. I'm not ashamed of myself. Should I be? Maybe. I'm definitely weird as fuck. But after 26 years of hating myself and generally feeling shame for one of the only ways I can ease my constantly spinning head, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and I'm not letting people ruin that for me.
This doesn't define who I am. I'm still me. I'm still Julian.
Thank you to everyone who defended me and everyone who reached out. Thank you to Hellhole for helping guide me off the ledge earlier. I know I'm kind of a piece of shit and have done some very awful things recently so I guess today was some necessary Karma, and I get that. But understand that I'm not a different person.
Hope you’re ok. I know it’s definitely something some won’t understand, me included but if nobody comes to any harm, it’s not mine or anyone else’s business.
I have trouble understanding kinks in general and I know that’s on me! You have support though ❤️
