I normally really like you Sebbers , but you're being completely irrational.
Person has a stance against same-sex marriage. Person meets a homosexual. Person still respects homosexual's opinion, but does not agree with their lifestyle on a personal standpoint.
You have a stance for same-sex marriage. You meet Person. You do not agree with Person's opinion, and because Person doesn't have the same opinion as you, Person is instantly "hateful" and "homophobic" and "wrong."
How do you not see that you're being the hateful one right now?
If someone didn't like your lifestyle for some reason, would you want to be their friend? I like to surround people who like me for me, if they don't then they obviously aren't my friend.
Jacob_96 One of my best friends doesn't agree with the gay lifestyle. I love her to pieces and she loves me back. There's mutual respect for each other's opinions without being hateful towards each other.
trenton1126 I'm not trying to be rude when I ask this, but how could you remain friends with someone who disagrees with who you are as a person? Obviously, being gay doesn't define anyone. But it's always a part of you and for her to just 'disagree' with you because god forbid you like boys is just lame.
porschefan101 It's really complicated to explain. Her and I were friends long before I came out, and when I did we did have a sort of falling out because she didn't agree with it. But we just kind of came to terms with the fact that she thinks one thing and I think the other. We don't attack each other and tell each other that they're wrong; we just have this mutual respect for each other's opinions. And I feel that's how it should be. If someone is disagreeing with your opinion and isn't being hateful about it, then what's the harm?
trenton1126 If someone is disagreeing with your opinion and isn't being hateful about it, then what's the harm?
Her opinion is the one that causes problems. Being homophobic isn't ingrained in who she is, and I believe if she really cared about you then she'd change. I hate to say it but she definitely does not respect you or your opinions if she judges you based on who you like.
trenton1126 What's gonna happen when you start dating, or get married? She's gonna be 'uncomfortable' or 'disagree' with it and then the whole can of worms will be opened again. By 'respecting her opinion' you're basically enabling her intolerance. Stand up for yourself gurl.
@porschefun101 I've been dating someone for 4 1/2 years. She's met him, she's hugged him, she's agreed that he's funny and nice. Will she come to my wedding? No. And that's fine by me. I'm not going to get angry with her and tell her she's wrong; I'm just going to keep being her friend and showing her that my relationship is no different than anyone else's. I don't need to "stand up for myself" because she's never been disrespectful to me.
trenton1126 I'm not being hypocritical in the slightest lol. Me not liking someone because they don't like an aspect of who I am, something I never chose...yeah that's a VALID reason. I just don't view disliking gay people as rational because I have no control over it. It's like disliking someone because they're black...there's no rationale behind it.
If you want to be friends with, and defend people, who belittle your sexuality by "not liking the lifestyle" that's obviously your own perogative. I personally couldn't because I don't support homophobic views. Cute calling me out though.
porschefan101 I don't think it has to do with defending yourself, there are some people who genuinely don't care what others think. I truly wish I was like that and think it's great that trenton1126 is one of those people. What I don't respect is him trying to "call me out" for caring because I feel my points are valid and justified and he SHOULD have empathy since he is gay. But I guess not, his only viewpoint is his own and can't see why I don't deal with crap like this so he calls someone out who's been pretty friendly with him.
Trenton1126 This isn't a matter of "having different opinions", it's literally a matter of her not agreeing with a part of who you are as a person & not supporting or agreeing with your love/sex life. It's not just "Oh we talked about politics and we disagreed but moved on and we are still friends".. obviously friends do that all the time and if they are really friends it won't matter to them if they disagree & have completely different opinions on certain topics. Your friend on the other hand is literally disagreeing with an entire part of you that you can't help and have no control over. Her not going to your wedding is the icing on the cake for me, I mean really.. what kind of "friend" is that.
It would be the exact same thing as saying to someone who's been adopted "I respect and like you as a person, but I do not like the fact that you have been adopted, because I think your biological parents should be the ones raising you. I don't mind being your friend and I'll be nice to you, but I do not support that you have been adopted and I do not ever want to meet the parents who adopted and raised you."
It's just completely irrational and it doesn't make any sense.. they had no control over being adopted, and there is nothing wrong with adoption.. What kind of fucked up person would hold that against you? Or even be against adoption in the first place?
Now replace adoption with homosexuality and it is the exact same thing.. you have no control over it, and there is nothing wrong with it. How could you tolerate being friends with someone who doesn't support that part of you? I would honestly not be able to do it.
