I don't. The odds of people reading this and thinking that I'm being sincere are very slim. so if you're not to stuck up to think I'm fishing for compliments, please go ahead and read on. I usually do this kind of thing on a private document. my kind of "rants" I just let my hands go and type what they want. because most times even I don't know what I wanna write. But I can't take not sharing anymore. and If I'm gonna share, it might as well be at a place where I don't know anyone in real life. if you've made it to this point and are not disgusted with me yet, then you are truly a saint on this site as most people I've interacted with before would've probably sneered and turned away by now. Anyway, I need to stop going on side tangents like that, I'm writing a cry for help. The very first thing I said here was that I don't matter. It's a fight I've been having with myself for quite some time now. I don't know why, but I hate myself. Sometimes I wish I were dead because of how seemingly stupid and pointless I am. and I know how good I have it at life, and I just think about selfish it is of me to wish what I have away when I know that there are numerous people that have it much worse off than me. Thinking like that just makes me hate myself more. I know that to most people I probably seem like a whiner for posting it here, but it's hard to admit this kind of thing to people you know, especially when you've tried to claim yourself before. I hope that doing this will help me to find the courage to explain myself to people. even though I can hardly explain it to myself... I just really wanna make a change in myself, and I can't quite seem to do it...... please, help me.... if you read all of that...... then thank you..... I'm not even gonna double check any of this, screw it. My future is in tengaged's hands
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Hey, Andrew, if you need to call me anytime, you can and you can talk to me. Feel better and don't think of yourself so lowly, honey.
I'm sorry to hear bud, keep working at it. You'll get where you wanna be eventually :)
Success is waiting for you. With the downs, the ups come as well. You'll be alright.
