Two blonds decided to rob a bank together. The first blond, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second
blond, Lauren, in great detail.
Then later on, the robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank, stopped the car and said to Lauren, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," replied Lauren. So Lauren went in the bank while Judy waited in the car. One minute passed...three minutes pass...seven
minutes pass... and Judy was really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Lauren.She had a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the same time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear
were down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, "You are such an idiotic blond! I thought you understood the plan!"
Lauren said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot!" snapped Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said, 'tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!'"
Superman was flying over a nude beach when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing.
Being faster than a speeding bullet he decides that he can screw her quick
without her knowing. So he swoops down does his business. Wonder Woman jumps up
and says "what the hell was that?", the Invisableman replies "I don't know but
my ass sure hurts."
A blonde is driving on her way to work.
Her husband calls her cellphone, and tells her to be careful
because there is a retarded driver
going the wrong way on the 405.
To which the blond replies "Yeah there's not just one,
there's fucking hundreds of them!"
