I dont know why im having a nervous breakdown for months and i dont know why i ruin everything and im such a failure and i dont wanna talk to anyone and im so dumb and retarded like i cant understand anything eduacationally or socially thats going on and why i hate myself more and more to the point that i hate eating anymore if i eat something too high in calories ill force myself to throw up multiple times and i dont know why i am staying in my room more and having a bad attitude and lashing out at people for no reason and acting terrible and its affected me so bad to the point im tired of living and i remember one time i lost it and i started wishing jesus would kill me and i dont understand why im like this i have a negative mindset and anxious i always think the worst and i feel like someones going to hurt me and i dont trust anyone im never happy i dont have anyone to talk to im a living contradiction. i like to be happy but I think about sad things all the time.. ill say I don't care but I just care too much, deep into my bones, i crave attention yet I reject everything that comes my way and I healed people, but I broke my own heart trying to fix them. I love to listen, but I never tell them what's inside me, i am a living contradiction thats what i am
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I know you don't like me: but you're depressed. Ask your parents if you can see a therapist. Clear cut depression here.
