16 contestants enter the house, each contestant will compete in a series of not-so safe and just barely legal challenges, they will have to battle each other, chef's food, twist and turns to crush their spirits.
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Tim and Laura sit inside, staring out at Ziggy, being total Sci-fi nerds they are going insane about there being an actually alien in the house.
"my name is Zigbert 137451934596 but you can just call me Ziggy, I'm from Area 51 and i love baseball"
Tim in the diary room "ok I always knew there would be some kind of Alien life form out there but this one seems so.... American"
Harry walks around the house, Svetlana stands in a corner staring at him, he backs away into Barry who stands still with a blank look in his eyes.
Harry in the diary room "ok i thought this was gonna be a show with upper class celebrities, but this, how is a show full of total losers gonna boost my fame"
Ling Ling and Kylie are in the gym, Tanisha walks herself over to see what all the fuss is about, "mmmm gurlz, this is where we gon party tonight, hey white boy" she says calling out to Steve "get yo little butt over here, you could use a work out.
"ahhh, no thanks, it's across a lot of sunlight, i don't think i can make it" Steve says nervously
Alice is in the kitchen with Anna and Regina "you girls seem nice, how about we hang out, get to know each other, no boys allowed"
Anna in the diary room "it was totally obvious Alice was trying to form a 'Girls Alliance' but I'm willing to go for it, but as soon as I need to I'll vote them out"
Regina "Alice was like sooo nice to me, but she doesn't like the boys" Regina is talking with Zach by the pool "Regina get over here now"; "I don't think I can ignore 8 people all season"
Luca and Gary sit in the far corner of the backyard, Luca pulls out his smoke and sits by Gary with his cigar, Barry comes over and sits between the two of them, pulling out a joint.
Svetlana sits in the diary room, staring into the camera, not moving a muscle
Chris calls over the speakers for all the players to enter the 'Challenge Hall'
they all enter the hall, Steve stands at the entrance looking up "if it's a hall why is there no roof?' he says frightened by the sunlight.
Chris "budget cuts, it cost a lot to get Harry here, you know with the whole small time fame thing, that's why the food and equipment is so bad"
Chef pushes Steve into the sunlight, he skin turns redder than Svetlana's lips.
Welcome to your first HOH challenge, in this teams of 4 will work together in a marathon challenge, after that the 4 players on the winning team will fight it out in a second challenge to determine the HOH.
Team 1: Tim, Ziggy, Kylie, Anna
Team 2: Regina, Zach, Luca, Laura
Team 3: Steve, Gary, Tanisha, Ling Ling
Team 4: Barry, Svetlana, Alice, Harry
"what the hell, why did i get those two, they aren't even breathing any more" Harry yells in anger.
"Sorry, you money only got you that awesome suite to sleep in private, not team choices"
1 member of each team will have to do one of the following.
First: 1 teammate must grab a basket of eggs, and walk across a pole over a nice cool pool, full of sharks.
Second: 1 teammate must then rock climb up this wall, with the basket of eggs
Third: 1 teammate must throw these eggs at the chickens across the room, knocking them off a pedistial
Fourth: 1 teammate must catch one of the chickens to win part one of the challenge.
and go...
Tim, Regina, Steve and Barry start the challenge, Tim gets to the pole and starts to freak out, he looks over at Laura and it gives him the confidence to start moving.
Regina makes it across quickly handing the basket to Zach, he thanks her for it and she smiles, angering Alice.
Steve walks across the pole burning so hot he can't take it any more he throws the eggs over to Ling Ling and jumps into the pool, he feels so nice and cool in the water, steam comes off his body, then the sharks come, he jumps out of the pool running scared.
Barry stares at his Basket of Eggs, not sure what to do.
Zach and Ling Ling begin climbing the wall, Ling Ling begins swinging over to try and throw Zach off his game but doing so she falls from the wall into Gary's arms "Thank you so much" she says.
"that girl needs to go first, her, Tanisha, Svetlana or whatever she is called, and that green man" Gary says in the diary room.
Tim makes it across, and hands his basket to Ziggy who uses his hands to stick to the wall and climbs up fast, he makes it there at the same time as Zach
Svetlana stands on the other side of the pool, she waves at Barry to cross over to her, he does and she starts climbing like crazy, Alice and Harry stand by unsure of how she can do this when she can't even speak.
Ziggy, Zach and Svetlana hand their eggs over to Kylie, Luca and Alice, Alice accidentally drops the basket of eggs landing on Harry's head.
"I'm so calling my manager about this, give me my phone, i need to tweet about how bad this show is" Harry complains covered in eggs
Kylie hits a chicken but Anna fails to catch it, Zach asks Luca if he can make the shot "bro I'm in a punk rock band, throwing eggs at shit is what i do best" he hits a chicken first shot, the chicken lands and all Laura has to do is catch it, she lures it over using her blue ribbon and catches it.
'Team 2 wins' Chris announces.
"wow how did you do that Luca asks her, "it's simple Animal Color Psychology, they are attracted to blue, the dislike the color Yellow and they are frightened of Purple" Anna is seen still chasing her Chicken that is running scared.
Regina, Zach, Luca and Laura the second challenge will also be that of a physical, this part you will all stand on the pool platform, you will each have to try and push each other off into the Shark and Steve's urine infested waters. Steve turns red, well redder, from embarrassment.
the 4 step up to the plate, the bell rings and they begin, Zach and Luca know they are each others challenge and start working on taking each other out, Regina faces Laura but doesn't want to hurt her so she jumps in.
Zach and Luca continue their fight, Laura tries to calculate an attack on them but when she makes her move Zach pushes Luca back and it pushes Laura and Luca into the pool.
And Zach is the first HOH winner.
Now Zach, we're gonna put this on you now, who are you gonna make the first nominee's with One ticket to loser town.
Zach looks at the cast, "I Think I'm gonna have to go with Barry as my first nom"
Barry sleeps in the corner of the Hall, Svetlana stroking his hair, she stares at Zach throwing him off his game, he looks to the rest of the cast and says "and i guess.... Harry"
"WHAT"
Harry is anger than he has been put up over the crazy girl and the burning man
The Next challenge will be the POV, this challenge will only have 6 competitors at a time, the HOH, Zach, Barry and Harry the noms, and whoever you pull out of chef's sock.
the whole cast goes "ewww"
"sorry budget cuts, fancy food and a bowling alley for Harry's room is Expensive"
Zach draws Laura, Harry draws Svetlana and facepalms himself, Barry draws Tanisha.
This challenge will be a graffiti competition, each player must spray paint on their piece of a wall something from Chef's other sock.
Zach draws Rome, Laura draws Space Ship, Harry draws The Mona Lisa, Svetlana draws Banana, Barry draws himself and Tanisha draws Chris.
Zach's art of Rome is average at best, Laura art of a spaceship, with lasers and everything is done perfectly, "very well done Laura", Harry's art work of the Mona Lisa looks like a man "I Made it look like my mother" he says proudly, Chris and Chef laugh and head over to the next art, Svetlana made her art a battle between Wolverine and IronMan, "that's great but it's not a banana", Barry didn't draw anything and sat staring at the blank white wall, Tanisha art of Chris standing on top of Harry's head with fans cheering in the background touches Chris "i think we have a winner".
Tanisha are you gonna save either of these players, Harry stands by looking eager, while Barry still sits by the wall, "hellz no, i don't need this thang"
Chris "you guys will get 1 hour to decide on who you want to leave, and choose wisely".
"I cannot believe this all you people giving me the cold shoulder because you get cold showers, and food, you are all just jealous of me and everything I am about, none of you will be as famous as I am" Harry tells them, "Now if you wish to have some form of social status after this show, i suggest you evict that thing over there" pointing to Barry.
The Housemates gather in the lounge where Chris tells them that the votes are in, and that each vote will be played on the TV for them to see.
Alice: I vote to evict Harry, it's socialite men like him that are always pushing us girls around
Anna: I vote to evict Harry, he is the reason I have to put up with Chef's.... (Chef stares at her angrily) delicious food
Gary: I vote to evict Harry, this is a game, and Barry is never gonna be a threat to anybody
Kylie: i vote to evict Harry, he is the reason I can't have a hot shower.
Laura: I don't know what to do, Harry is cute but Barry is so kind, I have to evict..... Harry
Ling Ling: I vote to evict Harry, he told me a Chinese person will never win, I'M JAPANESE
Luca: I vote to evict Barry, I'm all out of smokes and he is pulling weed out of somewhere, if I gotta go without then he is gonna have to go
Regina: I vote to evict Harry, sorry.
Steve: I AM BURNING, HARRY.
Svetlana: Svetlana sits in the chair happily, she holds up a photo of Harry
Tanisha: that boy Harry needs a kick up the ass from his manly mother
Tim: I vote to evict Harry, he is kinda a huge jerk
Ziggy: via a series of deduction I produced the conclusion that evicting Harry would benefit myself more than getting rid of Barry.
''And by a vote of 12-1 Harry you have been evicted"
"you all are gonna pay for this, every one of you, I'm gonna get this show cancelled, you'll be hearing from my lawyers"
Chef picks up Harry and throws him down the eviction garbage shoot.
"now since there is a whole room full of everything you guys missed out on, I've decided to give a little kindness for once, Zach, Tanisha since you guys won the challenges you can bring a person of your choice each into reward room, Zach chooses to take Regina and Tanisha chooses to take Steve.
outside, Gary sits down by Barry, he whispers in Barry's ear, to which Barry replies Yes.
let me know what you guys think about the episode and the cast, will post ep 2 some time tomorrow when i get around to writing it, also for fun you guys can Ask Evictee, post a randy question or two and i'll get Harry to respond to it in a special eviction blog for him.
16 contestants enter the house, each contestant will compete in a series of not-so safe and just barely legal challenges, they will have to battle each other, chef's food, twist and turns to crush their spirits.