1) Only true friends will stand by you. When you're no longer the butt of the jokes and the bottom rung of the ladder then those who only used you for free drinks and a cheap laugh will very quickly disappear. Sober Pok3rf4ce can sniff out fake people a mile away - take your negativity and shove it.
2) Eating cheesy chips and BBQ sauce at 3am is not a good look. Seriously, you can barely string a sentence together and you think eating something hot with a small plastic fork is going to bode well. Dearie... it's not.
3) Drunk Pok3r and Sober Pok3r dance equally as bad. #whiteguyproblems