The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
-Buddha
WHO WANTS MY FIRST -13
I go over alot of my personal story on tengaged and also the general clash of noobs and vets here
long, rambling blog ahead. Some of it may be wise and some might be funny and some might be stupid and some might be sappy and some might be illegible and some might be funny but most if it will probably just be stupid.
Tengaged has a weird, skewed way of defining and treating their noobs and vets. It's different than any other site or game. In most games, being a noob just means you suck; in most games, there's only one set of controls you have to learn, and it doesn't take long to be average. On tengaged you are grounded as a noob for a long time and it's a defining quality of you.. however it doesn't necessarily even mean you're bad at the game.
The raffle was introduced a few months or so into my tengaged career and I was as excited as anyone. To someone who hasn't played stars it seems like it would be a glorified, fun place to be. I aspired to it. I dreamed of the days I would get to play..
Then one day my girlfriend broke up with me and I slumped at my computer, sad. Then I saw I won the raffle and I was excited for that :D People showered me with good wishes (mostly) I got alot of support mails that they all wanted to support a yellow level in stars :P
However there were some nasty blogs made about how I was a NOOB.
Soon I was in the game and having a good time. I had been fiercely defending myself against haters and recieving praise from other noobs.
Let's just say that it went down like this. Nooby gameplay + nooby support = becoming a flavour. Too much hate from assholes + a stressed out stars flavour = lashing out at the assholes. Lashing out at the assholes ended up getting me banned and I was evicted against Sparticus142 my closest ally and the eventual winner.
I remained on the site with a thirst to play again, in a fairer way, to have a true chance. I had so much potential to win that game! Even when banned I was barely evicted. I knew that I could pull it in if I joined again, so I tried my best to level up to GOLD
I had worked my way up to light green by the next month when I won another raffle. At this point people were angry at me. Knowing I wanted redemption, they assumed I had HACKED this raffle. I couldn't get a top blog this time. People negged me to the bottom of the barrel out of jealousy, hate, suspicion. I managed to step up my gameplay, being one of the last three unnominated, but when I finally went up, I was EVICTED against FAYGO
so chyea at that point I was feeling like a noob failure. Everyone thought I was a noob. They were mad at me and hated me. It ended badly for me and I was sad.
However I soon became good at the game and rocketed up to black level pretty quickly.. I still hadn't played stars again yet but you know. My thirst for redemption grew as I neared GOLD. I tried to play in the seat game as the president of a top 10 frat. Chasing my noob dream, I Didn't even notice myself evolve into a vet. I had been on the site for over a year and still felt like a noob. I tried to get into stars many times when I got gold level. Months later I eventually got in and began to play the game.
People had forgotten that I had played stars before. "Welcome to your first stars" they'd say. Something that seemed so significant to me and to the tengaged public had been erased from everyone's minds. I fought the game like anyone normally would.... well, probably worse, but whatever. As I played through the game as a veteran the pain to win melted away. I passed my checkpoint of my stars record but began to care less. I made finals and by that point I gave so little of a shit that I even let alirez go unommed because he was the best winner in my opinion :P
This carelessness made me think that I had reached the level of non-noobiness that I had always wanted. This is perfect, I thought. I had to take a break from the site and didnt even care and I relized why higher levels did that ALL THE TIME. However the thoughts of the public still haunted me. During my second stars, I had to cling to my gameplay, to the game itself, if I were to escape the hatred, and for that, gameplay was always important to me. The public didn't think I played a good game when I made finals
I felt I had played a good game. I controlled a lot of the game and was nominated about 1/3 of the time I was a counter (with a lot of people working against me) I don't like that "gameplay' is just the amount of times that you're nominated. The public has no idea what happens in the game, so why are we so eager for them to care? Why do we priss and plead for us to consider gameplay when the public will still vote for dumbasses? This occured to me during my stars and afterwards.
I came back on a multi to troll people, and had a rude awakening. It was very different to be a noob. It was different than I remembered... It was different than I hoped. I thought I had felt like a noob the whole time when really I had never felt like one at all. I was forced to grow too fast and never experienced noob struggles. I felt growing pains.
However, I still wonder how the fuck I'm not a noob. I've been here almost 2 years, have over 2000 karma, and now I'm even a sky level. It still hasn't registered that I'm not a noob because I see everyone else fight to leave that rank when I really wasn't fighting for that. I was fighting for my color level to match my tengaged experience. My transition was all off
Sometimes I see a user and just think how much they've grown. I've seen so many users grow from "hey how do I join fastings" to "hey how do I join stars" and it always sends weird pangs that make me feel old. I feel like a woman looking at her son and realizing that he's off to college. Except I haven't talked to most of these people much, ever, so I guess it's a little different.
Like i said, reminders of these things are constant. However, it's times like these that theyre drawn out, and times like those that I write dumbass TL;DR blogs. At least, it seems acceptable for me to give a shit right now as opposed to every other time.
Anyways i feel weird trending one person (sparticus) especially when hkm and I only talk about Flappy Bird these days. So I'm going to trend people that are important to me and say why etcetera.. its hard to summarize a friendship in words so dont matter how long your spiel is just know that youre important to me Belmont wont log on to see this ;( if she would I would talk about how amazing she is et cetera and how positively she impacts my life and mood and just ugh :')
Now on to the people that will (or at least goddamn should) be reading this blog. GentlemanG you told us all that your name was Matt and now you say that it is Ray. The transition was shockingly easy for me lol. Anyways though.. I think we met through SoccerRulz, he was in the Swag Squad which I'm not even going to talk about right now tbh.. You were always closer to Bryan but the two of us still were very good friends and now I'd say you're one of my best friends at least. Youre always getting shops these days lol thats like your thing now but I will always remember our frookies and other games we play together and dominate. You're the one person I've joined frookies with the most and we still have a good personal friendship. I could maybe say you're my best friend on tengaged right now. You save for shops now and won't join games though ;( Michaelf1114 I met a lot of my friends during fastings... not too weird since we were noobs at the time. I think we were both black level or some shit and we met in a fastings ROFL.. At least that was the first game we truly clicked in. Since then we are good friends and allies many times. I sponsored you in THG AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SKY DAYS AGO IF I HADNT lmao you're awesome buddy and you always help in my charities which is awesome let me know if you have one.. one of my best friends on tengaged ever and I love when we play frookies together or just talk about stuff and blogs et cetera NotAfraid when it comes to tengaged friends theyre usually just your best allies. I dont feel that with you because I dont think we even ever played a game together LOL.. I always thought you were awesome but never really got to talk to you until one day an opportunity popped up. I took it and we hit it off I guess.. we mailed eahother a decent amount since and I've always enjoyed it. Your vlogs are good lol youre cute.. also you gifted me which was amazing (doesnt happen to me that often tbh) ily and I know youre kinda sad sometimes but hey I'll always be open to talk to you < 3 temeky we first became friends when I became a devout follower of #TemekyIsAWhore. Soon we were good enough friends that I dont even care that #TemekyIsNoLongerAWhore. Youre just awesome man and we always have a good time hanging out and stuff. I remember I joined a crooks charity with you and it was just so much fun just cause idk youre a fun guy :D I wish our group game didnt FLOP it was so awesome Jamjars oh johnny I have no idea how we met. You and I have always been great friends and it's never really wavered. I mean games don't go perfectly but you and I play a good amount of frookies together and do well in them. I really think you're one of my best friends on here. I literally have no idea why people hate on you sometimes cause smh you're nice and just a good player typhlosion37 what would be a shoutout blog without ryan.. you're a staple of my tengaged friends and I know youre mad at me but ily buddy. We bonded over common interests like pokemon and total drama.. I think we first talked when you won the raffle and I offered to help you out with advice (you placed higher than I ever had at the time) since then we have played frookies together a lot and its usually successful! Rasmusjt48 youre the oldest friend I have on here (not age wise... length wise) weve been friends since our early days on the site. Two thirteen year old playa noobs that rocked fastings together in that one summer lol.. those were the days tbh and for some reason there are just some games with you that always remain in my memory. We still talk a lot and even though we dont play many games and I'm busy nowadays we sometimes hang over BrantSteele and stuff like that k4r4k survivor is where we met, I remember it now. You were the nicest person on the tribe tbh. I thought you were very cool and we were good alliance in that game. However we both only got 1 merge so.. that didnt work out quite perfectly. Since then we've slowly evolved from a survivor alliance caterpillar into a close friend butterfly lol :D you always support me and I try my best to get you back =] i love your blogs usually because youre just such a great person and I think youre so beautiful and ughhhhfh what a good friend #RasGrand I already forgot what your new account is so I'll do you in private Funnehliner I was joking about being mad at you LOL you are one of the people that I've played frookies the most with and other than 1 game where I was shit to you and 1 game where you were shit to me I guess we've always been really good allies. Now that we're even I hope we can nail frookies on the head like we used to and get that honesty back cause I miss it and you're a good guy vans I think we met through blogs smh we're always doing something weird on the blogs page and sometimes in frookies lol.. i'm watermeloning so hard rn xD We've known eachother for a long time and I look forward to our next interactions because you've always been a fun person TheBlackDog black doge you've always been nice to me. We never made frookies final 2 but you and I used to join them together and we did alright :P i feel like my new schedule is pressing the time zone differences that didnt use to be an issue between us but I enjoy our conversations and I always plus your spam (I barely plus any anymore lol) dinosaurdan we met in a crookies and became good friends. I really wish we talked more on skype because we've always had great conversations and make eachother laugh. You really helped me get my confidence up starting a new high school without people I knew but you were all cool and helpful and that was great alireza1373 I let you go unommed in stars gg Ladris I can barely register how we met anymore. The taco cats were premading and you got me banned for spam. Now I'm more likely to premade with you than with them xD I cant say exactly how we went from enemies to friends but I couldnt stay mad at you < 3 now we're good friends and youre really nice and funny Donagal103 I've been saying you're perfect all day so if I dont mention you in this blog imma seem like a fake ass lol :P honestly I cant even remember when we met first. I think it might have been a skype game or a frookies.. I thought you were pretty and you thought I was alright I guess lol we became friends and talk routinely (not enough though aAHAGHghahghh) I always enjoy being in a game or conversation with you even though its a little too rare daniel123456 dumbass clown ROFL i literally have no memory of how we met but you're one of the funniest people on here. I've always liked talking to you and wish we did it more often. I wish our TV show idea had worked out, that had potential tbh. Smh anyways you're just a good guy to talk to and we have done an occasional game together too (crookies once I believe.. and frookies) PrincessTeePee was the only top blog that was positively about my second raffle win. People were giving me shit and you stood up for me. I can never forget that even though I dont remember exactly what the blog said. Since then we've really just talked occasionally which is sad. I'm glad you joined me charity and GL in stars!!!!! AlaskanFireDragon your username is a weird sex thing, I forgot what it is. We're friends a lot of the time and you're a fun guy to hang out with or play a game of frookies with. You helped my charity right away with no questions asked which I appreciate because most people were attaching strings ROFL anyways you're just a good guy and I enjoy that you're my pal Lucinda my first higher level friend you were always a role model to me. We were in fastings or something a very long time ago. Since then we lost touch for a while but eventually ended up in at least one crookies together which was AWESOME. You've always been good to me and were an idol of mine as a mini noob Nick33 you're pretty much one of the perfect ideals for a tengaged friend. We play games together sometimes, and do great in them, making it far every time. Outside of games, you've supported my frat and been a fun guy to hang out with. I supported you 100% in stars and was sad to see you get evicted to that gross piece of shit. You're a good friend buddy Bowler23 one of the best allies ever, you're also a really significant figure in tengaged culture and I think you're one of the best on the site tbh. On a personal level we're all good and in games we click and we do really well together =] I wish we were a little closer but w/e I'm happy with what we have anyways cheesee10 an original taco cat and just a great guy < 3 we play games alot and have a common interest in pokemon which we used to play together. I have always liked our conversations et cetera and think you're an awesome friend GirlLover101 we used to have a complicated relationship. I couldnt tell if we were good or not.. now, we're just instantly allies in every game we join, and we talk sometimes. You're a good guy Justin and a prime example of someone that I've seen grow from a noob to a vet within my tengaged lifetime :') I appreciate you and would type more but my fingers are getting sore lol arthurnix our friendship doesn't have a funny story or anything. You're just fucking awesome and when you joined my charity I was glad to know we were friends :P you're like constantly funny ffs it's amazing hope we play more games soon TheSexiestDude990 friends for a long time, we are. You've almost always been kind to me and I appreciate that in addition to just how you're a pretty fun guy to be around. No hard feelings over that one frookies :P and I think that even after the games we played ans ths coversations we had, the thing that sealwd us being close friends is when you trusted me with a dark secret :0 (Will not post in this blog) you're just a good guy and I'm glad youre my bro thumper91 you're the type that is nice as fuck to everyone. I think you'll replace diva1 when she is gone. Someone that is so nice to everyone, I'm honored to have as a close personal friend. We have convos sometimes on skype and play games together occasionally and you'rr just awesome
I'm only two levels from TV star, the highest level as of now... and I've reached the level needed to join STARS!!! (again)
I know I sounded like I was done with tengaged and, to be fair I still think most people are assholes, however those 20+ people in addition to every other nice person on the site has kept me here and I'm glad I came back =]
List of "sky" cliches/ puns I could have used instead of Touch the sky
-come out of a clear blue sky
-sahmo in the sky with diamonds
-zip o dat green high as da sky
-The sky's not the limit.
-sky high
-bigger than jesus
sorry if I didn't mention you, I have so many friends and allies on this site
Congratulations, Sahmosean. :)
I actually read this (not the tributes though).
It's tough being completely honest about your emotions, your gameplay and yourself and I respect you for that. =]
My Tengaged life was different to yours. Everything was different 6 years ago. XD
But I can relate to not having much time as a noob.
I got popular by association when I was a yellow level and that affected how I was treated in games. Tengaged IS really stressful if you worry about how people see you and wanting them to see you in a particular way.
I gave up on that. But that quality alone doesn't make me a Vet.
I have been here a long time and I have experienced a lot here.
Sahmosean? You have been here for a long time and you have experienced a lot.
You have made an impact. You are a vet.
Tengaged is a lot more fun when you're less self concious. ^_^
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.