Before middle school, I was the happiest person you can ever meet and I always used to smile (I still do). When I went to Middle school, I had a "Happy-Go-lucky" attitude, and I thought everyone was going to be like me and always happy and we would all love each other and I can talk about Jesus and we will all be friends. I was dead wrong.
There was this girl name Angel. he was kinda emo-looking and I've never met anyone like her before. I wanted to be her friend. I go up to her and introduce myself "Hi, my name is Soiyer. What's your name?" At first she kinda stared at me. Her and everyone else was a little bit afraid to talk to me, because I was this obese black guy. There were some people who were my friends, but most refrained from speaking to me. Soon, they realized all I was was a big teddy bear. They also found out I had really high christian morals. They all hated me. Angel especially. For the rest of that year, they all bullied me. I had rocks thrown at me, I was spit on, and beaten with sticks. Finally, school was out and my Dad decided to send me to the Boys and Girls Club for the summer. Big mistake.
At first, everything was ok for a while. I was hoping to make some friends to make me feel better. I was wrong. They all hated me there too. I was bullied so much that I had to sit in the Advisers office everyday so that the kids won't bully me. Home life wasn't all that good either. My mom moved out, two weeks later my step-mom moved in. Let's not get into that. I live in an apartment complex. Outside were a whole bunch of kids. They all hated me too. They all cussed me out. Everyday, just like during school, I was told by everyone that I should kill myself. One day I couldn't take it. I was going to kill myself. I engraved in my arms "Bye" and "World", one word on each arm. No matter how many times I was close to trying, there was something holding me back. Probably all those lessons at church telling me that Suicide is wrong because it is self-murder. Finally, after a case involving my sister (I won't put what happened on here as that's my sister's personal business, but I can say she was Victimized), We left the Boys and Girls Club and School started back. I was mentally traumatized. My whole entire personality changed. I went to school, wearing only black, and I always had my hoodie up. Still was bullied. I didn't care. I gave up on life. Angel was in my orchestra. She threw a music stand at my leg, causing it to bleed. I smiled at her and said "God Bless you". That really creeped her out. She later tripped me while I was running and made me hit my head on a pole. A yard duty saw this and was going to give her detention. I told the Yard Duty it was an accident and she didn't mean to do it. Angel was shocked. She asked me why I would defend her even though she was so horrible to me. I told her "That's who I am. All I wanted to do is make friends. I wouldn't let someone get in trouble, no matter who they are or what they've done to me, because everyone deserves to be treated nicely. It's this only way to survive in a world that drains itself of it's own purpose and draws us into a deadly lie (My Gothic side lol)."
Later that week, the other kids made a day called "Buddah belly day" Because I am fat, they said my stomach made me look like a black buddah, so they all rubbed my stomach "For good luck" Angel saw this and yelled at the other kids. She told them to leave me alone. She Then swore to em that she would teach me to defend myself. It worked a little at school, but they still bullied me there and I was till bullied at home.
One day, I went to a doctor's appointment and missed school. A rumor went around the school that I was killed. I heard there were many people crying, feeling bad for the way they treated me. They thought that they were just playing around, but when everyone treats you the same way, it felt like everyone just bullied me. The rumor spread to my apartment complex as well. I went to school the next day, and I was hugged by nearly everyone who saw me. They all were like "YOU'RE ALIVE" and "I'm so sorry about the way I treated you" I learned a long time ago to always forgive, so I did. When I went outside at my apartment complex and the same thing happened. I was surprised. I went to being hated to being loved by almost everyone. Now, Angel is my best friend in the whole world and those people in my apartment complex are like family to me. However, things are still not well.
Because I was bullied, I suffer from insomnia. I can't sleep without waking up at 2 in the morning due to nightmares. The bullying also made me, as I consider myself, Asexual. Middle school (as most of yall know) is a time where boys and girls start to really like each other. Because of the way I was treated, I have never been attracted to either sex. I hope that one day I will find someone that I can trust my heart with, but I've seen too much heartbreak to see that happening anytime soon. Maybe college.
So that's my story. Well, the parts I feel comfortable sharing with yall. Thanks for reading.
