Wisteria

***MAKE SURE YOU BUY YOUR RAFFLE TICKET!***

Keyston, former president of this frat, is not a witch. As a matter of fact, he's nothing you've heard. (Okay, okay, he's a witch. But he's a cute one!) He's also not some Hollywood anorexical -- he digs his own root vegetables, thank you very much! He is wonderfully in love with Rita Blankets, and has a bodeh that is hot AND powerful. Oh. My. Glob! Because of his natural penchant for doing analyst-type things with large sums of money, Keyston has been named Princess of Financial Affairs. Goodness him!

Paula Deen is an amazing cook. Her savvy use of butter makes her the ideal member of Wisteria. In fact, she was recently promoted to Vice President of Organization Affairs. Whee Paula!

Rita Blankets is a silly willy! Her purse is filled with farts but her stool is nicely upholstered. She may be silly, and occasionally ugly (depending on her mood) but she's a force to be reckoned with. This is why she was promoted to Officer of Squidward's Nose.

Tdan13, also known as Trevah Dan, is another integral member of our fraternity. He always cleans for us, mostly the carpets. In fact, the vacuum has been missing for a few days...I bet it's in his room. Anyway, because of his extraordinary cleaning prowess, he's been promoted to Officer of Carpet Sucking!

Amy, aka Ameh Loo, is our sassy sexy vixen. She's the hottest lesbian we know, although she's actually the only lesbian we know. She has many children, the oldest being Hair Bitch. Amy is here seeking donations for a bigger house for all her lovers (what, did you think it was for those children? ROFL hell no), or a richer husband. For her outstanding sexual endeavors, Amy has been promoted to Assistant Vice President of Sexual Affairs. (and we mean affairs *wink*)

Benner_2304 was caught dancing in the Minnesotan corn maze of Nantucket. He had his green harmonica and sang a lovely melody about a fairy princess, once upon a time. Since Benner is such a talent, with his whimsical abilities in performance art, he has been promoted to Officer of fART. Congratulations :)

cwmoon has many identities, more than we could ever know (bandit). His sex drive is asymptotic, a mathematical tease. He rides unicorns and teaches Caleb Anatomy in his free time. For all of his charitable contributions to society, Caleb has been promoted to Officer of Numerical Nicety.