not Jess Eclair

Welcome to The Snatch Game!

NO

IM GENIE FOR YOUR WORL

Now let's meet our celebrity panel!

Tila Tequila (Ahn Jinhee)

Hillary Clinton (Avieyonne Flux)

Tammy Faye Baker (Eleven Eleven)

Rachel Reilly (Flan)

Whitney Houston (Maui Wowwy)

Mariah Carey (Rio Deranged)

Kennedy Davenport (Untitled)

Tyler (Bahama Mama)

Betty White (Eva Lution)

Flieux

TYLER

You brought us life this...

Let's begin with our first question!

Jumpy Judy is so jumpy, when you ask her about her coke addiction, she ___________.

Tila: You know TayPaul I, the latest iteration of the Egyptian Goddess Isis, once said that cocaine, is the portal to the soul, so I do enjoy endulging on some blow once in a while to, like, open my third eye & balance my chakras and stuff. *sniffs* It's 2016, I've been to the future, Mother TayPaul, it's time to WAKE UP AND MAKE A CHANGE!

Hillary: Hillary: I said she changes the subject! turns to the camera My fellow Americans, on November 8th, I hope you all turn down the temptation and #"turnt" up to vote!
Host: Oh... Hillary, it's.. it's over.. You didn't become presi-
Hillary: ... My fellow Americans, on November 8th...
Host: Moving on…

Tammy: Caller, it is coming to me,...God is telling me...he is telling she asks for forgiveness, seeking his WISDOM and STRENGTH to get through this hard time. If I may...Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Rachel: http://imgur.com/RPTFhYn
TayPaul: Wow Rachel, I love the change of clothes
Rachel: I don't do drugs, I only study them and I don't associate with anyone who takes them, ew!
TayPaul: Right because you're a scientist
Rachel: Periodically.

Whitney: Well, obviously she http://sketchtoy.com/67763996 . I’m with you, Judy. While with a name like that, you’re not my sister, because you’re NOT a sistah, I’m with you. On the subject of white bitches, how come this bitch is accused of smoking coke, but I had to be smoking crack?

Mariah: She nothing, I don’t talk to people who drink too much soda, NEXT!

Kennedy: Well, FIRST OF ALL, Jumpy Judy need to jump her ass in front of a car set to the D for DRIVE. Nobody got time for that bullshit.

Tyler: He eats this ass like a cupcake.

Betty: Well I once worked with Judy Garland, and she was pretty jumpy. One time I watched her bite her entire coke nail off to swallow the evidence. So I imagine this Jumpy Judy would do the same.

...moving on!

Moaning Mary moans so much, that during sex, her boyfriend ____________.

Tila: I know like everyone *obnoxiously gestures my hands around the other girls* knows that I do swing both ways, I do love me some female lizard-people & male lizard-people, there's nothing wrong with that, Marie. So I wrote "Kicks her and Dani [A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (Season 1) runner-up out of his bed." EQUALITY, IT'S WHAT THE ILLUMINATI DOESN'T WANT.

Hillary: Mary sounds like a nice woman, so I said that her boyfriend realizes that he can't do better than her. :)
Host: Say, Hillary, you know a lot about men and sex. Bill and Monica Lewin-
Hillary: Oh that thot? Don't make me get.. turns to camera da hot sauce in my bag, swag swag swag... turns to other camera On November 8th, help me become, as Charlie Chaplin once said, "Winning!"
Host: Okay, that was Charlie Sheen and you did not just quote Beyonce...
Hillary: Mhm, I like cornbread and collard greens, beeyotch.
Host: No wonder you lost to the mutant Phi Phi O'Hara.
Hillary: Oh yes, you best-ah believe it!

Tammy: Caller, he is telling me...he is telling me...the boyfriend is frustraited and seeks STRENGTH. I see it, I see it, He is to plant a seed, start his holy garden to pick god's fruit. His seed...His SEED; A DONATION OF $142. Mail Your SEED sir, and god will give you the strength to overcome your adversity.

Rachel: I can't answer this TayPaul. It hits too close to home.
TayPaul: Aw, what happened?
Rachel: When Brendon and I were having sex. I moaned out another name! And when the baby came out... it wasn't Buh-RENDONS!
TayPaul: Who's baby was it?
Rachel: Here, look at the child: http://imgur.com/a/dNrzi
TayPaul: Looks like you got one too many chromosomes in there

Whitney: I didn’t answer this question because I couldn’t. But if I had the ability to answer this question, I wouldn’t.
TayPaul: *Takes Whitney’s answer card* http://sketchtoy.com/67764000 “You know these questions aren’t about you right?”
Whitney: I know what the mainstream media is going to do. Remember, I am EVERY woman, I’m not falling for your tricks. http://i60.tinypic.com/2r2q3o4.gif

Mariah: Her boyfriend moans even louder to out-moan her.

Kennedy: Tells her to shut her ass up! Matter fact I bet Mary don't got a boyfriend cause you can't take her loud ass nowhere without everyone thinking that you called up Whitney on the Ouija board. http://www.tubechop.com/watch/8724011

Tyler: Her boyfriend fucks this pussy.

Betty: Allen probably remembers this, too bad I don't have a ouija board to contact him. I would say that her boyfriend probably chokes her though.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/078c16ceaad358583ef737a7915e2f64/tumblr_nwzdl8iLeT1tmdaugo7_400.gif

This is just so wild! Let's see what else they have to say!

Petty Paula is so petty that when her boyfriend doesn’t text her back, she ____________.

Tila: If Pauly was like me, what I would do is quantum hop to the 11th plain of existance and time travel BACKWARDS TO MAKE SURE HE WAS NEVER BORN! I'VE SEEN THINGS, MOTHER TAYPAUL, I'VE DIED BEFORE!

Hillary: I said that Paula surrounds her house with a Great Wall. My fellow Americans, is this really the person we want as our leader? Petty Paula and Donald Trump? On November 8th, I hope you say "nae nae" to not voting and drive in your "whip" to the station.
Host: Miss Clinton, I told you, you lost. The end. Kaput. You're a relic.
Hillary: I just need to do something with my life... please.... help....

Tammy: Caller, God is reaching through me, to you, and he is telling me, your relationship is in danger. Your husband, perhaps, is unfaithful. But FORGIVENESS and STRENGTH through this hard time will be your key to safety and happiness in your heart.

Rachel: WHO TOOK MY MAN! WHO DID IT! AINT NOBODY GONNA GET IN-BETWEEN ME AND MY MAN. NOT EVEN A BUNCH OF DRAG QUEENS, EW. YOU KNOW WHAT TAY? IM GONNA EVICT EVERYONE, EVERY SINGLE QUEEN HERE. FLOATERS GRAB A LIFE VEST.... EVA LUTION

Whitney: Well, chile, once again I wrote nothing. *Reaches into wig for a small slip of paper* But I will, however, supply the receipts. Isn’t that right, Judy? http://sketchtoy.com/67766691

Now, Bobby, you have no reason to lie to me. I have the receipt. If 6 of y’all went out to dinner, and you spent $15,000 on cocaine, where was my invitation Bobby? Not that I’d be doing that, I’d be doing nothing of the sort, but BOBBBAYYYYYYYY. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Listen to this voice. Wooooooo! That’s the record deal that paid for the Devil’s Talcum Power. Okay. It’s not right, but this check is okay.

Mariah: She breaks up with him and keeps the $10 million engagement ring…

Kennedy: Gurlllllll...... all these sloppy queens can manage to find a man but I can't tell whats drier between my bank account and my voopah? -one eye rolls back- What I'm doing wrong?

Tyler: She eats this ass.

Betty: When you get to be as old as I am, the only way to reach your boyfriend is through a séance. Then when he possesses your friend you can just give him the silent treatment.