Aight so there’s been a little action (thank god) since my last confessional, and I’m finding some footing in my tribe at last. Vincent asked me about making an alliance with Brittany pretty early in the game, and I said agreed but told him to pretend I didn’t know about it. Hopefully, this way, I’ll both Vincent and Brittany will consider me their number one; Vincent cuz we started the alliance, and Brittany cuz we discussed whether to agree to Vincent’s alliance or not. Too bad brittany’s almost certainly got some better relationships elsewhere in the tribe... Although, she does like to play both sides and keep her options open, so hopefully that means keeping me and Vincent around a little longer. Nathan, meanwhile, has been pretty nice to me and we’ve talked some. I’m concerned tho cuz it’s not really been strategy-based discussion. I’m pretty sure he just wants me to like and trust him so he can kinda sheep me a lil till it’s time to cut me loose. Hopefully I’ll have enough time to gain some loyalty in return before a swap. Which seems likely cuz there’s some people who haven’t really done anything still in both tribes. Regarding the challenge, Hoop and tris filled each other’s buckets so hoop is feeling confident enough to get an idol clue without fear of us targeting him for it. Or maybe he’s just a little dumb. Idk we haven’t talked much if at all lmao. Which is prolly something I should work on. Anyways, imma try to keep building relationships, but this shit is hard!! I’m frickin awkward and not very funny and could really use a more likable personality!! So if anyone knows a way to just completely change yourself, hit me up

Ayy your boi is finding some breathing room now! I definitely didn’t think I was in immediate danger since there’s still inactives on my tribe, but now I feel a little more confident come swap and merge that I’ll have some loyalties on my side. Brittany seems to at least be playing around with the thought of sticking with me and Vincent, and she’s telling us who she’s guessing for the idol, which is good! Unless she’s lying, but I don’t care much at the moment about idol searching. Even if she’s tryna play us, as long as she feels confident in our loyalty I’m happy. Also, for the dodgeball challenge, I created a groupchat (with me, Hoop, Britt, and Nathan) which was mostly used to whine about how we’re getting smoked, but it looks like it’s effectively becoming a lil alliance..? We’re the 4 most active players right now, so it makes sense, but I’m not sure if I trust them to trust me. Hoop and I don’t have much going on one-on-one still, and Nathan I’m scared will try to keep around Erik even though he hasn’t been active for a while. I’m sure Britt, Nathan, and Hoop are the circle within the circle, but as long as I’m in the majority, I at least have a chance to wiggle my way through the middle of them. Tribal will supposedly be an easy vote for Caden cuz he ain’t done nothing, but tribal is an ice cold bitch, so you better always be ready to get slapped. Uhh idk how to end these things lol. Welp, see ya next time?

Right so maybe just forget everything I said last confessional. I might be being paranoid, but I feel like I’m getting blindsided tonight. Everyone has been trying way to hard to convince me they’re voting Caden, especially considering it should be an obvious vote. Also, someone must’ve told Caden to vote ivy last time we were at tribal, so it’s not like he’s universally targeted by the tribe. So I feel as though me and Vincent might be targeted tonight, tho idk why :/. Vincent found the idol tho, which is something!! But I’m an ass, so I recommended he tell Britt about the idol to “reassure her of our alliance.” Honestly, I told him to do it cuz at least this way he’s more likely to be the target of this “blindside” than I am since he has an idol. If this vote really is for Caden, then I’m in a decent spot. But the more I think about it, the more worried I get. Oh well. Hopefully I’m just overthinking stuff. But if not, at least I tried to avoid the target. :/

Ok so basically I’ve been paranoid for no reason a lot, but so far, it hasn’t really caught up to me. I’ve gotten closer to Nathan and Britt, and we formed a core 4 that’ll hopefully stay intact just a lil longer. So Nathan a few rounds ago found out that someone on our tribe has an idol, and I told vincent how to explain it, and he followed my directions I’m pretty sure, which was dope. I told him to tell britt that Nathan might be on to him, since Britt thinks she’s the only one who knows about the idol. As I predicted, she told Nathan, who the told us. So now we’re all on the same page kinda, except everyone thinks Vincent is in their pocket. In reality, I’m pretty sure I’m Vincent’s number one rn, cuz he told me about the idol first so... I got dibs. Anyways, hoop’s been kinda not saying much to anyone, so he’s kinda a wildcard strategically. So even tho it’ll ruin our tribe’s 5-4 numbers advantage, I think it’s the best call to get rid of him tonight. Plus, it’ll open up my options to flip around a bit and keep the massai people available. I know I need to start playing flashier soon to get jury cred if I plan on winning, but it’s hard enough to focus on just getting to the end gEeZ. Hopefully, me or Vincent will hear from Nathan Britt or whoever when one of us is boutta go so that the idol can be used, but I need to make sure my planning of moves isn’t overshadowed by people actually performing those moves, if that makes sense. Anyways, idk who I’d wanna take to the end cuz everyone’s a threat in their own way. Wish me luck y’all, cuz I do wanna win

Aight so hoop went last tribal as planned, making it currently a 4-4 tribal split. At the challenge, Kyle, Tris, and Vincent chose to get an idol clue and not participate in the challenge. Good news for me, cuz it means that tris doesn’t trust Kyle to share the clue with him, so hopefully there’s some cracks to exploit. Anyways, I actually WON INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY (for the first time ever!!), so, yea... congrats to me!! So britt Vincent and I all have clues since britt and I won challenges and Vincent sat on this past one. I say, “hey britt! I don’t want massai to find the idol, so here’s my clue!” so she can still see I’m loyal. She says we got the same clue, which is sus, but I’ll choose to believe her for now. Then Vincent and I exchange clues, and, since I love games, I decide to initiate a little game between me and Britt. I tell vincent to not tell britt I know his clue, then ask britt what Vincent’s clue is. She pretends not to know for a bit before vincent tells her that she can tell me, so it’d seem she’s more loyal to vincent than me rn, which... I don’t appreciate. Anyways, now we all have each other’s clues ig which is nice but we haven’t found the idol yet. Hopefully massai hasn’t either. Since I have immunity tonight tho, I’m not particularly scared of causing a rockdraw. So my plan was to just not tell any of massai who we’re voting so they can’t play an idol. Then we could try to convince someone to flip for the revote, which would be more likely since the rockdraw is more imminent. Plus, if an idol is played on whoever we voted, then we could see that and then have vincent play his idol on whomever it seems massai is voting (likely nathan). But tris approached britt apparently about flipping and voting Tico. Britt’s like “yay we did it.” But my paranoid ass ain’t buying that yet.
Right now, I
a) am scared tris is just idol-baiting is (telling us to vote tico just for tico to play an idol)
and
b) don’t want tris to wiggle his way into the Kilimanjaro alliance.
Games are fun. So I decided to play another game. This one’s called “let’s get tris to vote himself out as revenge for him making me idol myself out in dono’s.” Now the plan, if everyone else is down, is to tell tris we’re doing tico but actually vote tris. If tris actually votes Kyle, Kilimanjaro is in the majority for a 4-3-1 vote, and tris goes home, giving Kilimanjaro a 4-3 advantage next vote.  If tris doesn’t flip, then hopefully massai will misplay an idol on tico. If tris doesn’t flip, it was gonna be a split vote anyways. At least this way they’ll prolly put any idols they have on the wrong person. If my plan actually gets done, then yea, I’ll kinda feel bad for playing tris, but he’s dangerous and I don’t want to let him get close to britt or any of my other alliance-mates.
I’ll try to keep y’all posted if anything changes ;)
But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show

Oh boy. After winning individual immunity, Vincent found the merge idol. Yay. That was sarcastic lol. Vincent has been my ally since day one, but there’s no way I can compete in an FTC with someone who’s played 2 idols correctly. So I finally executed the plan b I’ve been maintaining for a while now. I’m pitting  Britt against Vincent. Mwahahaha. Vincent has been sharing more with me than Britt this whole game, but I’ve encouraged him to convince britt she’s his number one. Today Vincent started wondering if we should get rid of Nathan. And give you the perfect opportunity to play your 2 idols and gain the respect from the jury? Hell nah, Vincent. I immediately rat to britt even tho I know vincent is planning on telling britt anyways. I just want her to know that he told me first so that she feels betrayed. Now, she’s already hurt and scared cuz of Vincent. Then, I pull a classic “oh shit Vincent just told me he has 2 idols! Wtf?” And she’s like “oh shit we need to get rid of him.” Yes Britt, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Crazy, right? Me and Britt realize that to get rid of Vincent, we’ll need him to feel comfortable and still have solid numbers behind us. Thus, we need Nathan in the game. So britt plays up the “we can’t get rid of Nathan! If we lose immunity tomorrow, we won’t have the numbers, even with your ONE (1) idol!” And I say “Vincent, buddy, Britt is worried about this vote. We need to do Kyle instead of britt. If you tell her about your second idol, she’ll see you as a threat and try to get you. We have to keep her comfortable.” So it should be a solid 4-3 vote for Kyle tonight, which sucks tbh cuz I really wanted to work with him in the next few days. Goddamn idols, man! Ok, so, hopefully, with Kilimanjaro in a solid majority, Vincent will feel comfy enough to not play an idol tomorrow and we can blindside him. But yea, I’m gonna need some hella good vibes these next few votes, so please send em my way!!

Wow ok so last tribal happened. Uh in case you missed it, Kyle played an idol on himself, negating the four votes my alliance casted against him. So then Vincent says “oh shit what should I do.” We both thought the votes were going to Nathan, but ig my social game’s been pretty good cuz vincent decided that even tho we think Nathan’s getting the votes, it’s more important that I stay in the game. aw. right after I was plotting your demise, too. So he plays an idol on me, and those massai assholes actually voted me! Gross!! But idk why they put all the votes on me. That was dumb cuz they coulda split their votes and actually gotten someone out. So with me, Kyle, and Vincent immune from the revote, my majority alliance picked off tico cuz he’s way more threatening than Gabe atm. But I’m a lil peeved cuz Kyle said that if Nathan gets to the end, he’ll get his vote, as well as tico’s and gabe’s. Idk if Kyle was just tryna play me, but Nathan’s barely even talked since merge, so I was thinking I could take him as a goat tbh. But ig massai is salty that we’re saving Nathan over them or something. Anyways, I still kinda want to get Vincent out, but i don’t know if I’ll be able to without toppling my allegiances. Britt is thrilled that Vincent played his idol on me cuz now she feels he’s loyal, but he still hasn’t told you bout his second idol girl! I’ve proven my loyalty to both her and Vincent, tho I’ve definitely gone back on both. Good thing they don’t know that yet, and hopefully they won’t till final tribal. The problem tonight is that since kilimanjaro was the 1 idol camp, and Kyle has played an idol, massai must have been at the two idol camp. Thus, we need immunity tonight so that we can split the votes between Gabe and Kyle in case of an idol. But if we can get through the next tribal with a massai going home, I think I’ve got a clear way to final 3. I’m just hoping it’s a final 3, not 2, and that I can find a way to articulate how I’ve kinda put the dominant alliance in my pocket. Pray for me ;)

Ok so I don’t want to sound like a selfish assbag, but today I’m kinda feelin like that. So rn I’m just trying to convince vincent the votes are coming my way tonight and he should play his idol on me and not himself. In all honesty, sure the votes might come my way, but I have no clue lol. I just know that whatever happens at tribal tonight, I don’t want to be sent home. So yea, I might lie a bit to vincent to convince him to play an idol on me. Kinda serves him right anyways cuz he’s been a lillll but condescending ever since he played the idol on me last tribal. No matter who goes home, kilimanjaro will still have the numbers, and I’m not super partial who those numbers are, as long as I am one of them. Gosh I am sounding selfish. Look, ideally, Kyle/Gabe dont play an idol and Gabe goes home. And if not that, I hope vincent plays an idol on me and the votes come my way so we can just get rid of Nathan in a revote. But if something else happens, yea, I need that idol on me to guarantee my position in the top 5, and I want a position in the top 5. So I guess I better get to work. Wish me luck ig, tho y’all prolly think I’m a rude selfish asshat :/

Damn ok I really let my idol paranoia get to me. And I’m bout to do it again. Lemme start with last tribal doe. Ok so we were convinced that Kyle prolly has an idol, so he’d play it on Gabe, his only ally left in the game, since Kyle won individual immunity. Vincent decided he wanted another big idol play ig so he was like “let’s just put all our votes on Gabe and I’ll hopefully use my idol correctly and we can send Nathan home on the revote.” But britt was not boutta trust him to play his idol right randomly. And we were pretty sure vincent was just gonna play the idol on himself anyways. So she told me “ok so don’t tell vincent but you and me should put our votes on Nathan to cause a 2-2-2 tie.” But that wouldn’t work either. If Kyle played an idol on Gabe, then it’d be a tie between Nathan and whoever Kyle and Gabe voted, prolly me. After that, one of two things would happen Vincent and Britt would vote Nathan again and Kyle and Gabe would vote me again, sending britt home as the only one eligible. Or Britt would realize if the votes tied again she’d be going home, so she’d vote me on the revote and I’d go home. So, I took a pass on that plan. And instead, I said, “hey, instead of risking one of me or britt going home, let’s just all vote Nathan.” That way, Kyle would still prolly play his idol on Gabe cuz he’d assume we were voting gabe, Nathan would vote Gabe, and Kyle and Gabe would vote prolly me. Also, it’d get rid of Nathan, who ik britt was thinking of maybe bringing to FTC as a goat. That’s one less available FTC seat for me. So Nathan went home in a 3-2-1 vote, but Kyle did not play an idol. Since the vote, Kyle has continued to talk about the idol, and it’s clear he’s bluffing. But, and this is where I risk sounding paranoid, I feel like he’s bluffing so terribly that it’s reverse psychology. The bluff is so obviously fake that we’d definitely know he doesn’t have an idol. So maybe he’s intentionally bluffing terribly to make us confident he doesn’t have an idol when he really does? I mean, he claimed he found the merge idol, which Vincent has. Ok... but ig there could be 2 idols. But then the boi tells me he guessed Nate Gonzalez to find the idol. Wtf? Even if I hadn’t already guessed Nate Gonzalez almost a week ago, which I did, I could’ve just guessed Nate today. If the idol was real, I’d be told that the idol was there but it was already found. But the idol was not under Nate Gonzalez. Now Kyle is saying he is playing the idol on himself tonight, so I have another plan. I’m gonna try to pretend I believe in his bluff idol. That way, if he has an actual idol that’s not bluffed, he’ll feel he’s safe, cuz I wouldn’t have my alliance vote for someone if I thought all those votes would be negated. If he has an actual idol tonight, I’m thinking he’ll play it on Gabe. So we’re voting Kyle. Now let me rant about what my worries are for next vote. If Gabe wins immunity, he’ll prolly want me gone, which would stink. But if me or britt wins immunity, Britt has said she wants Vincent gone cuz she thinks he’s our biggest threat. He’s prolly threatening to her, but i feel that my control of the alliance would be easiest to argue for if I have vincent and Britt next to me at the end. My whole game has been focused on eliminating any options for my alliance-mates. And now britt has found one that will be hard for me to get rid of if britt or I win immunity. If britt or I win immunity, then Britt will vote Vincent with Gabe, so even if I vote Gabe with Vincent, it’ll be decided by fire making. Thankfully, if Kyle goes tonight, Vincent and I will be the only people left in the game who have won immunity. Ideally, it’ll come down to me and Vincent, so I can throw the challenge. If Vincent has immunity, then Britt will have to vote Gabe cuz she’s made it pretty clear she’s not finna vote me, and I actually believe her. Today she told me she’s glad she’s had someone so honest and loyal to play with,