*Squeeze Lemon rolls onto stage*
Welcome to err old Tayvie Drag Race! Now, I'm from Miss Old Oklahoma, the beautiful state of horrible oil funding and gone-wild teachers with no pay! I'm here to represent Oklahoma in a short little speech! Lets-Get-To-Going. *tips cowboy hat*
Just kidding, I'm not about that gay country boy shit. *throws cowboy at Voldy*
Anyways, so since I opened the door of cowboys, it's time that I finally destroy the stereotype about Oklahoma being country. FUCK NO WE ARE NOT COUNTRY. The only type of cowboys we have here in Oklahoma are the ones who eat Dennys at 7 O'Clock in the morning and dress up like a cowboy but the only thing we know that their wrangling up is there fat ass "stay at home" wife who certainly has a yeast infection because in Oklahoma, We don't use feminine hygiene products, We use grass, Because we're country. Oh, and there is one more thing I forgot about when it comes to country in Oklahoma, we LOVE a good jock strap.
So, Carrying on, let's talk about the big elephant in the room, these god damn butt hurt indians. Oklahoma has barely any cowboys but we sure do have a lot of fucking indians. Now, the indians in Oklahoma believe they deserve privilege because of the trail of tears, blah blah blah. Us white folk go through tons of shit as well like my baby daddy canceling his credit card, but you don't see me fucking crying about it. Kinda. Also in Oklahoma we have terrible winds so I like to believe that the whistles in the wind are actually all the woman and children on the trial of tears just crying for another shot and hope at life but sadly they won't get one because why? Because their indian. Just an observation.
Well I can tell that my time is up and should be going now, PLEASE VOTE MISS OKLAHOMA!
