Hello, my name is NandoNOM
My first ever post on here so lemme tell you a little bit about meself :)
The name’s Gabriel, or if your brain can handle the awesomeness of my full name, Gabriel Jan Domniq Oliver Plunkett Del Castillo Trio…
Now that you have recovered from the coma of trying to remember my whole name, my home planet is Earth; a round rotating testicle particle constantly spinning in the black sea us hue-mans (called so because of the many different colours of skin tones that cover the meat on the bones of tasty morsels a species of animal called man) call space which is actually the urine inside the divine being hue-mans called Gods’ ever expanding penis.
On Earth, 24th of February a ledgend was born in some country where people have a linear eyesight in Asia and then some: that legend was me.
When that doctor pulled me out of my beautiful mother’s jack-in the box they tested to see if i was well by slapping my precious tiny and freshly made buns, to which i retaliated by using my superpowered sonic screech. Now as if i wasnt feared enough as a child, my likeness to the great god Buddha gave me supremacy in my family; if they didnt comply to my demands, they earn my wrath by me whipping my elastic flab back and forth inside the house causing it to rock ‘N roll in rhythm with my overflowing ripples of fat. To this day i still use that ability but to a lesser extent due to me getting forced lipo-suction by my balloon pump because my primary school teacher told me i was morbidly obese; to which i told her ”my milkshake brings all the toys to the yard and yeah like, its better than yours bitch.’
Now to this day i have gotten use to the loss of my precious blubber and have now been using the head on my hair as a primary subject of awe, stupidity and flame sensitivity. My height from head-to-toe is 5’5 but thanks to the sheer power of hairspray, i can stand at 5’9 with pride and the scent of magnolia’s and rhubarb custard; whenever i got hungry it would just pick out a piece of my hair and sniff it in an obsessive manner as if i would be devooring the scent itself. Now your probably bored of me talking about myself by this time so im going to leave you with one last thing about myself: as a hue-man, my skin colour incase youve bin wondering, is black yellow because i am asian. yes you heard me asian.
Us asians have bin noted for having slants in various body parts depending on which genitails, a rubbery object in between a hue-man’s legs that could be out, pink, hard and resembling the head of Peppa Pig, or inside hiding as a hideout place for diseases and jellybeans, an asian hue-man has. Im gonna stop right there cos i feel like im gonna hurl in a sec so i hope you enjoy my introduction, ill see you again soon guys! :)
