“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.” - Doug Collins, basketball commentator
"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'" - Jessica Simpson
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on." - Samuel Goldwyn, early Hollywood movie producer
"To me, the greatest book of all time is "The Bible" because there's some religious stuff in it!" - Jim Rosenberg, author.
"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." - Radio broadcaster, UK
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman, Golfer
"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man." - Samuel Goldwyn, early Hollywood movie producer.
"If only faces could talk..." - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
"That scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." - A congressional candidate in Texas
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield, sports commentator
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." - Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United States who had an affair with an intern.
"If only faces could talk..." - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
"That scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." - A congressional candidate in Texas
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield, sports commentator
“For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow.” - David Frost, British Talk Sho2 Host
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer
"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
"I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people" - Pamela Anderson, former playmate.
- Mike Hunt
- Mike Hock (say it fast)
- Anita Dick
- Ben Dover
- Ben Yankin
- Dick Stillhard
- Dick B. Brown
- Dixon Hand
- Harry P. Ness
- Jack N. Noff
- Madame Dick Hertz
- U.G. Rection
- Duchon Mandic
Thank you if you have anymore post them below
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-When the boogey man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris does't read books he stares them down until he gets his info.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement
-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.
-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
-Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
-Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
-Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he can't cry.
Thank you for reading my Blog If you have more please post them below.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
