-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-When the boogey man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris does't read books he stares them down until he gets his info.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement
-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.
-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
-Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
-Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
-Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he can't cry.
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-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
