A magician worked at a ship, doing shows for the passengers. The public was different each week so the magician always did the same tricks. The captain's parrot used to watch all the shows and started to understand how they worked.
Each time the parrot understood the trick he'd shout "Don't look to that hat"; "He's hiding the flowers underneath the table"; "Why all the cards are Ace of Spades?", etc. The magician was furious but he couldn't do anything... after all it was the captain's parrot.
One day... the ship sunk! The magician ended up floating while holding to some of the wrecks... with the parrot at his side! After some hours the parrot said:
"Ok, I give up! Where that fuck did you put the damn ship?"
You want to come in my life, the door is open.
You want to get out of my life, the door is open.
Just one request.
Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
Today I was hanging out with my friends at a carnival fair and there was one fortune teller (reading palms). I don't really believe in that stuff but you know, when we're with friends we always end up trying new things. So I went to the lady.
I asked: "Will I ever be married?"
"No.", that was her answer.
But! She hadn't seen my palm yet! She just replied like that. And when I said "But you haven't even looked at my palm." She simply replied...
"I see it from your face...!
Well, thanks a lot for the compliment mrs. fortune teller. =_=