COURTESY OF MY BFF SLASH OCCASIONAL-CASUAL-SEX-PARTNER-BUT-ONLY-WHEN-WE'RE-DRUNK, IAMVEGAS !!!
LIKE I CANNOT GET OVER HOW HOT I LOOK RN!!! Like I would go as far as to say that I've NEVER looked HOTTER, but like that's SO UNTRUE because there was ONE TIME where I DID look hotter!!! AT BIRTH!!! NOW I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING!! EWWWWW BRIANNA THATS LIKE PEDOPHELIA!!! OK but NO ITS NOT bc I'm talking ABOUT MYSELF and I was also EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD LOOKING EVEN AS A CHILD!! I remember it like it was YESTERDAY!!!
MY MOM who was like A TOTAL MILF was rushed to the hospital complaining of a SEVERE STOMACH ACHE at around 4:13!!! SHE TOTALLY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT SO SHE'D BEEN DRINKING MIMOSAS ALL MORNING!! Like ordinarily this would WORRY ME but I got like 750 total on my SATs so it didn't impact my intelligence LIKE AT ALL. ANYWAY the doctor was like LOL WELP you're about to have a BABY and my Mom was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT??? She only got a little fat because even as a CHILD my body fat percentage was like 0% and my breasts were totally natural and my skin was naturally tanned okay now that its out of the way!! ANYWAY so she TOTALLY gave birth to me and the nurses were like O M G this baby could TOTALLY model for Victoria's Secret one day, you should get her training in pageants and into youth modeling STAT!! AND SO MY MOM DID!!! I was in Lands End when I was 6 months and I was STUNNING OK
BUT ANYWAY THANK YOU SO MUCH VEGAS!!!!!!!! You are an amazing friend and I am so fortunate to include you in my life as my token ginger. Ignore the bottle of blonde hair dye I bought you for your birthday!!!!!
COURTESY OF MY BFF SLASH OCCASIONAL-CASUAL-SEX-PARTNER-BUT-ONLY-WHEN-WE'RE-DRUNK, IAMVEGAS !!!