and I'm saddened and honestly disgusted and disappointed at a lot of my past actions, and that my memory is so distorted, I know there are tons of things that I dont even remember.... The point is.... Tengaged brought out the worst in me, and I honestly believe made me a worse person and negatively impacted my life in ways I can't even comprehend. It's hard to assign the blame to just one thing.... Im not sure how to redeem myself, and as far as tengaged goes, maybe I'm not meant to redeem myself. I honestly feel like there's not much I have to gain from Tengaged....
I mean this with all due respect.... I just don't see anything to take pride in anymore. It feels like most of us are obsessed with this image we create of ourself that instills pride, and makes us feel like we are intelligent and amongst the best. But the price it takes to achieve that is very steep, and at the end of the day, is it really worth it? I feel like it requires disgusting actions in order to get to the top, and ultimately makes the people at the top, that are able to handle the toxicity required to reach that level, seem like not anything to want to aspire to be amongst, because they would sell out almost anybody in order to get more karma.
and eventually with the snakes dominating it drives everyone else away and breeds other snakes.
So like yeah..... I guess what I'm saying is,
I don't want to be a snake. I don't want to get in the way of other snakes.
I just want for there to be a group for the rebels and the misfits like there used to be, that fight back against the snakes.
