This is just for fun... No offence meant to anyone. :D
Government Scientists have issued a Fact Sheet to keep the public informed about the deadly Swine Flu that is reported to be the latest threat to the continued existence of the human race. However it appears they don't know that much about it.
1. The Threat: the last thing to come out of Mexico and sweep across the World this quickly was the Mexican Wave in 1986. Just look how quickly that could spread round a stadium.
2. Mexican Pigs rarely travel to the UK at this time of year. However they can be easily identified by their broad brimmed hats, moustaches and coughing.
3. Many pig related products sold in Britain, eg Bacon and Ham and Pork Scratchings, have already been cured. You only need to worry of you eat the cheeks or the trotters.
4. People who are a bit porky are thought to be more at risk.
5. Being a vegetarian won't save you. Remember a pig might've pooed on those carrots before they were picked.
6. As a species Pigs are closely related to Elephants. The only difference between an Elephant and a Pig is that Elephants have longer noses and can therefore breath under water. Pigs can't breath under water. If an infected pig comes near you quickly jump in a swimming pool and hold your breath.
7. Statistically the British workforce are more likely to catch Flu' on a Monday, unless its a Bank Holiday, then its Tuesday that they will phone in sick.
8. If you catch the Pig Flu Don't Panic. A prescription for the medication costs a mere £7-20 to collect from your local chemist.
If anyone has any more facts that will help to keep us all informed about the deadly threat of the Mexican Pig Swine Flu' you are asked to post them here to keep us all informed of the risks. Please`post them below. Thank you.
