Q:. How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark
Chuck Norris one rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash instead of taking a shower
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack his heart is nowhere near foolish to attack him
Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
Chuck Norris never wet the bed as a child, the bed wet itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he is pushing the earth down.
When you say "No one is perfect" Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. In the dark.
Chuck Norris has to speeds, walk and kill.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Q:. How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb?