i feel like HORRIBLE in all caps is a little much and id like to file a human resources complaint

OMG

NEVRA'S CRITIQUES

Aron & Andrew / “god’s chariot” by Oklou & “BLOODMONEY” by Poppy

Okayyy, so first of all…. god’s chariot…. YASSSKSHSDHSKHSKhwjshwknkshaishkdd literally my 2nd favorite song ever???? i’m in love with it…. i truly haven’t heard anything like it before like it’s so gorgeous so dreamy so airy just ugh….. changed my life fr perfect for this theme you ate down…. now bloodmoney…. I like poppy! i didn’t really keep up with her when she went metal but i know this already! bawp! i think it works really well for hell! I also LOVE the harsh, scratchy, noisy production against the soft, airy, dreaming production of god’s chariot! I don’t think that was intentional LMAO but yeah! This was a good week for both of you!

Joe & Coco / “Machine Gun” by slowdive & “Day I Die” by DeathbyRomy

okay! So “Machine Gun”….. it’s cute! It’s very of its time etc We’ve seen this from you before so it’s little okay…. but yeah! It’s just pleasant idk very shoegaze, which is a genre I enjoy! Yeah! I want a little more versatility! Now, “Day I Die”…. it’s okay! It follows under that corny dark pop sound I don’t like….. this isn’t bad! My only concern is that everything it does well, another song this week does it better :/  I do enjoy the production though! Overall, you both were just outdone I fear

Jourdan & Deshon / “Delicate Weapon” by Grimes, Lizzy Wizzy & “causality of your dreams” by Maggie Lindemann

Okayyy…. grimes again? That’s a little 😴😴😴 but the song does eat! So I can’t complain too much…. but I know you can show us something different! But yeah I like the song a lot! You kinda ate…. Now Maggie! I was a little…. worried…. when I saw her submitted…. she as cute back in like 2020/2021??? But I feel like I moved on…. BUT, I did like this! It executed the pop rock sound very well! Yeah! I don’t have much else to say!
Galaxies & Malamente / “Kiss of Life” by Sade & “Ugly Boy” by Die Antwoord

Okayyyy…. I’m not too familiar with Sade’s discography but I do love everything I’ve heard! I think I’ve heard this before? I’m not too sure but I really do like it! It’s very heavenly and gorgeous to me yassss ate… ended Jessie Ware and Kylie Minogue !! “Ugly Boy”….. This was high camp YASSSSSSS I was eating this up ! Finally you send something that isn’t well known! The hell concept isn’t so in your face but I get it! I love that both songs center around love! like yasss cohesion!!!

Matt & Kemi / “Loretta’s Song” by Noah Cyrus & “Sandman” by Ellise

Well! I don’t like country LMFAO yeah! This Noah Cyrus song… is not for me at all…. it’s very okay for what is it?? I guess??? But I won’t ever go back to this ❤️ Now, Ellise…. I don’t like her 💀 She stays doing this corny dark pop sound which captures what I don’t like dark pop doshkdjd this might be the best I’ve heard from her??? But the bar is on the floor for her atp….. Yeah this was just not it for me ❤️

ALI'S CRITIQUES

Malamente and Galaxies: Galaxies good song beautiful lyrics nice vocals okay get out now. My problem is with Malaments song... I am genuinely lost for words. We can put aside the fact the lyrics don't fit all the theme of hell, the vocals are not good, like for my ears at least. To make matters worse, the women's voice seems heavenly to me which contradicts the theme you are going for. It's just not the best of what you have submitted so far, in fact it's the worst. Step it up!

Coco and joe: I enjoyed Cocos song way more, the lyrics fit the theme and I can feel this hellish energy running through my veins while listening to it. Joe's song on the other not as much. It was hard to understand what the singer was saying for the most part, and this is something I tend not to like about dream pop when they tend to swallow up the vocals, like I don't mind it if it's for like a casual listen and to chill, but for this theme specifically when it heavily relies on understanding the lyrics, the song fell short.

Aron and Andrew: I enjoyed both submissions and they really work well together. I have a slight preference towards Arons song though for having such heavenly feel to it. Putting you both together seems to have backfired.

Kemi and matt: Oh Matt you ate. Your song is my second favorite heaven one, the lyrics just fit perfectly and those gentle melodies, like I would have never imagined Noah singing about religion. Kemi, yours was fine. The problem with Ellise is her voice can be such a turn off sometimes and come across very generic, so it can easily get overshadowed when put against better vocals.

Deshon and Jourdan: I feel like both of you tired to rely heavily on instrumentals and general vibe of the songs and totally dismissed the important of having the lyrics fit the theme. While I don't mind Deshons, my biggest problem is with Jourdans.... it's basically a break up song, and the lyrics make it seem like it's better suited for hell than heaven, especially here:

It makes me wanna die, die, I wanna die
You said I ruin your life
Love is the devil ahead and the devil doesn't sleep

So yeah, this wasn't it Jourdan, and hopefully this is just a set back. Pay closer attention to lyrics next time!

MAX'S CRITIQUES

ANDREW / ARON
You two really carried this week for me. Not gonna lie, when I saw this pairing I was like "yeah, one of them is going home this week" but, holy shit, did you two prove me, the other judges, and the WHOLE cast wrong. This is truly what I wanted and expected from this theme, and I'm happy you two delivered that accordingly. Even individually, you two both would've placed in the top three, so that speaks volumes on your performances.

Aron, your song is probably one of my favourites of the season so far. It was angelic, unique, true to YOUR style, and it resonated very well with the judges.

Andrew, at first your song was like... alright for me, but after listening to it a couple of times it grew on me really well! I do think you're trying very, very hard and I see it and appreciate it a lot. I think your efforts were very well rewarded this week!

DESHON / JOURDAN
To me, this was the winning duo... had Jourdan done a bit better. I was shocked that you two didn't winning, mostly because I feel the judges expected more, especially from Jourdan which ended up tanking the overall performance.

Deshon, this week's submission was truly stellar, by far your best song in the game so far and I'm only giving you praise for trying to find footing in the competition. I feel you listen to critiques accordingly and apply them, probably better than everyone else. I do believe this was your week to win, but even if you didn't, I can sense a W coming soon!

Jourdan, oh wow... Honestly, I did WARN you about submitting Grimes again so soon. I feel like comparing this to your first submission of her's is what made me rank you so low. I just think it was a bit worse in retrospect, and not only that, we could not hear what she was saying for shit. I was just like, a bit underwhelmed with this overall. This isn't bad, I just didn't necessarily care tbh.

GALAXIES / MALAMENTE
I also think this is another pairing that suffered from the fate of someone tanking their duo.

Galaxies, this is really good. Although I will say I didn't care for it as much as the other judges did, because it's not my genre, I can respect the uniqueness of this and I really do think you took a different approach to the theme that I can appreciate. It was a really cute song, and I found myself bopping to it quite a lot! If this was cranked up just a bit more, like your Julien song, I might've ranked this a bit higher! GOOD JOB THOUGH!

Malamente, my God... this was... truly cancerous? First of all, I expected the vocalist to be a singer, I was not expecting Eminem to sing the whole track. Her moans and screeching throughout the song was so weird, I literally felt like this was funny honestly. After your last two submissions, I was like "damn... this isn't it for me...", maybe that's just because I expected another bop from you and kind of did it to myself, but oh well. Maybe next week?

KEMI / MATT
This is probably the safest pairing of the bunch, to me, you two did REALLY well and I'm sad the judges didn't see.

Kemi, this is probably my favourite song you've submitted. HOWEVER, I do think it felt almost heavenly at times and I was like "wait a damn minute...", so I had to refrain myself from ranking it higher because of that. But I WILL say, you and Matt's communication made me really happy. It means you two tried and cared, and I'd like to say that it showed. To me, you did could've won and I wouldn't have been mad. Job well done again!

Matt, this is suchhhhhh a step up from last week holy shit. THIS is the direction I want you to keep going in. It was so beautiful, and it was different. It kind of reminded me of like, my grandmother for some reason. Weird comparison, but this was just beautiful!!!!

COCO / JOE
Honestly, this is so tragic.

Coco, fuck do I feel bad about your position this week, I truly think you were given a bad hand. Personally, I liked your song. There were parts that I was like "SLAY YES THIS EATS", but when she starts screaming I'm like ok... It's GOOD though, and I don't think it's bottom two worthy, but your partner REALLY anchored you down this week to the point where I was shocked you even let him submit that song. I do think you'll take this well, and hopefully we get to see you deliver more bops because your submissions, to me, have been giving winner material. Keep it up, I know you have it in you. <3

Joe, I was so let down by this honestly... It wasn't bad, I thought it was gorgeous, but there was just a lack of emotion that made me really feel disconnected from the song. It got a bit monotone at times, and after your stellar performance last week, I just felt like this fell WAY too short. I also wish you and Coco had talked a bit more, because I do think communication kind of played a part in your situation this week. I'm really, REALLY sorry. :( I wish it would've gone another way!!!