and let me make up a funny story about yo bitch a$$
totaldramatyler - one night you decided to go to the club with your besties. You get there and them bitches get straight up white girl wasted. After four cranberry vodkas, you start showing your shit to the entire club. You were twerking your ass off. It was all fun and games until this dude came up to you and started grinding his "thing" all up you. You said "YOU WANNA THROW DOWN RIGHT HERE AND NOW MOTHERFUCKER?!?" the whole club was stopped and looked at you guys. He said "You first bitch tits." You asked the deejay to turn on "Coming Clean" by your favorite artist Hilary Duff. You have rocked OUT to this song since day one. After a very emotional dance, you had an epiphany- you needed to go home and shower.
peace123 - You were having a private convo with your english bulldog at your local park, when you decided it was time for a change in life... you flew to boston and after a emotional period of listening to "boston" by augusta, you decided
to be continued..
And I will make up what I think your life story is..
going all out on this one
Donutdude556 - You were selling donuts in your hometown, all up on the street corners until you got busted by the po-po for secretly selling your body. You knew that motherfucker was under-cover because he was too clean cut and his figure nail were clean but you took a chance because you really needed that three bucks. After you got out of the pin, you decided to go to NYC and pursue an acting career. You knew God did not make you so good looking just to sell your body. You finally got an acting job but they needed you to dye your hair blonde. You have brown hair and did not want to sell yourself again to get your hair professionally dyed so you bought a cheap 3 dollar box from behind the counter at the convenient store. YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME. SHIT TURNED YOUR HAIR ORANGE. Last I heard you were found on the street screaming "THANKS OBAMA YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! LOOK AT MY HAIR YOU PIECE OF DOG SHIT!"
Realityfreek - You were in NYC too, and you knew what had become of Donut man(read above)^ you knew it was time to pull your shit together.. One day your lucky ass ran into Lana Del Ray. She told you she was moving back to NYC and wanted your ass to be her assistant. You were so happy until she said you were actually going to be a replacement for her dog that died. She wanted you to sleep in the fetus position at the bottom corner of her bed at night. When you misbehaved, she beat the shit out of you. Demoralized and close to losing yourself identify you tired to run away and get help. You make to the police station to tell them about the physical assault, they laughed in your face. You decide to leave and take the next train out of town when Lana finds you in the street. She captures you and to make sure you do not escape again she locked you up in her basement in London. You were never heard of again.
Utsumi - You live in Detroit you where you're a big time drug dealer. You don't know any other way to live, your parents, siblings, god parents, grandparents, great grandparents- all drug dealers. One day after taking a few xanx's, you decide you're gonna be a rapper. You know that's the only way to make it. You sold enough drugs to get some studio time at a local place and that's where you made your first hit "Gurl sit dat A$$ on ma face". After finishing the album, your second single "Imma nut right in ur face", went straight to number one on america's top 40. Rich and famous in LA, you focus your time on proving the haters wrong.
artpop - You were making art in NYC but struggling big time for money. One day you were tired of life and went outside, saw a nice looking car that people were packing their stuff into. It was obviously they were heading off somewhere so you waited for them to go back in the apartment to get more belongings, then you made your move- you crawled into the trunk of the car. You did not know where you were heading but you know it was better than here. You felt stupid when you realized you had enough air line miles from your credit card build up that you could have just flew out to where ever you wanted. But fuck it, woulda coulda shoulda, right?
If someone came up to you and handed you a book and you started reading it and realized it was a book about your entire life, would you read it until the end?
I don't think I would. I mean I would be super tempted because I'm so scared of the future and have no idea what it holds. But I mean either way you're screwed because if your life just ends up being some depressing ass story, any hope you had for yourself will be destroyed. But if your life ends up being awesome, then you have already ruined the surprise and won't have those moments when you're so happy and caught off guard you start crying happy tears.. and life is just so crazy, moments that are unexpected and never knowing what is going to happen is part of the reason it is worth waking up in the morning. So yeah, no I would not read it. Maybe a sneak peek at a few pages ahead of where I'm currently at now in life, to see what I end up majoring in..
