St:pid Plays
Thanksshitting
(Peaceful wake-up music plays) 11 AM
Halee: (Yawns) Good morning, crappy life.
David: Mornin bitch. Nah, y'know I'm kidding. Happy Thanksgiving.
Halee: You too dickweed
(In kitchen)
Cody: Well, they're up. Good thing my turkeys done.
(Later) 1:00 PM
Mikey: Hello, we-
Carlos: We're here, he's queer, and-
Ashley: We brought beer!
David/Cody: Hell yeah!
Cody: Let's start the day with the same.
Halee: Video games?
Cody: Yea-yeah
David: Let's do Skyrim first.
(Later...again) 3:00 PM
Ashley: Mortal Kombat? Really?
David: Yes.
Cody: It's important. Very important. (Puts on Scorpion costume)
Halee: No it's-
Cody: GET OVER HERE!
Halee: No, I don't want-
Cody: GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!
Halee: For what?
Cody: For me challenging you to Mortal Kombat
THE GAME
Scorpion (Cody) Vs Sonya (Halee)
AT THE END OF A BUNCH OF REMATCHES
Scorpion Wins: 1
Sonya Wins: 9
Cody: (cries) WAA! (disappears)
Carlos: The fuck just happened? David: Cody got his ass kicked and he ran away crying like a bitch.
Carlos: I didn't mean that literally.
(4:00 PM, EVERYONE IS SEATED)
Mikey: I'm hung.
Carlos: Hung what?
Ashley: Hungry.
Mikey: Turkey.
David: You're a turkey.
Mikey: (Turkey sounds) (gobble gobble) Gobble Gobble!
Cody: Yes Mikey, the turkey is done.
Mikey: Is their rape inside?
Cody: No. There will never be rape inside. Anyways, the center is to share. David gets a thigh, Halee gets a leg, Mikey gets a wing, Carlos gets a wing, Ashley gets a leg, I get a thigh.
Halee: But I want the penis!
Ashley: No, I want the penis!
Cody: The turkey doesn't have a dick! Surprisingly, the turkey had 3 legs.
Carlos: A third leg? How the hell is that possible?
Ashley: Birth Defects
Cody: Ok, everyone enjoy.
(Every one begins eating)
David: Huh.
Cody: What? Something wrong with the turkey?
David: No, But I suddenly have to- nevermind, it's good.
Cody: Ok then. ..
(After dinner)
7:00 PM
Cody: K-k-karaoke!
David: Damn it, fine.
Ashley: I'll start.
(Song starts)
Ashley: Hit me with your best shot, don't you fire away, hit me with your best shot.
Carlos: Wow.
Cody: The voice of an angel.
Ashley: Oh, stop!
(Carlos's turn)
Carlos: Just beat it, beat it, beat it, just beat it, hee hee shamone!
(Cody, David, Mikey's turn)
Cody: Just a small town girl
Mikey: Livin in a lonely world
David: She took the midnight train going anywh- SHIT!
Carlos: What? You finally realize you're gay?
David: One. I'm straight. Two. I have to shit!
(Runs to bathroom)
David: Oh thank God, I made it to the shitter in time. HOLY CRAP!
(Meanwhile)
Cody: Heheh.
Halee: What? You do something?
Cody: Oh yeah!
Ashley: What did you do?
Cody: I put laxatives in his part of the turkey.
Carlos: Why would you do that?
Cody: You remember a few weeks ago? David (whispers) and then he pantsed me then (whispers) with peanut butter.
Carlos: So you got revenge by putting laxatives in his turkey.
Cody: Yes.
(Back on the toilets)
David: SON OF A BITCH!
(20 minutes later)
David: Cody, now that I'm done blowing my shit out, can you explain why the fuck I feel constipated?
Cody: Well...y'see, I sorta put laxatives in your part of the turkey.
David: LAXATIVES!? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?
Cody: You remember that prank you pulled a few weeks ago?
David: Where I had sex with that whore who soon gave you herpes and I drugged you with the date rape drug, made you have sex with a homosexual, pants you, and gave you a Cleveland steamer which you ate because it looked like peanut butter?
Cody: Yeah.
David: Well, I guess now we're even.
Cody: Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
David: Get out of the bathroom, I'm not done pooping!
