So I have to write a short story for English. It's supposed to deal with a moral dilemma that is open ended. Constructive criticism (no excessive hate) would be great.
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Herbert was a hedgehog. Herbert was a happy Hedgehog. Herbert had a happy Hedgehog wife named Haley and two Hedgehog children named Harry (age 5) and Carl (age 7).Happiness was the essence that bonded this hedgehog family together (as demonstrated by a "happy house" floor mat that marked the entrance of their hedge-hole).
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Herbert worked for the huge corporate company called Strawberry that produced toys for hedgehogs to play with, toys called "h-pods." H-pods were very popular amongst the hedgehogs, however they proved to be a major distraction from the hedgehog's work. But this is not relevant to the story because it is not happy. Herbert only wants happy things to be in his happy story.
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Strawberry became very successful with the new release of the h-pod smell, a device controlled just by the intensity of one's sniffing (officially called the AAI, or the Average Air Intake). And due to an influx of Strawberry profits, all Strawberry employees (including Herbert) were given the opportunity to go on a family cruise. Herbert knew this would make his happy family even happier, so he enthusiastically took the offer.
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Aboard the SS.Happy.Hedge, everyone was exceedingly happy with the variety of activities: buffets for the chunky Harry, limbos for the hyper Carl, and condensed Broadway shows playing every night for Haley. Everything about this trip worked smashingly, until...
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Capt. Gohegdeh discovered that h-tunes had a two hour special for cheaper songs to add to his h-pod. He figured that others could watch the steer for two hours while he's online. But his plans were shared by everyone else, for Strawberry is well known for its successful outreach publicity, especially with its employees. Everyone on the SSHappy.Hedgehog. was all online too.
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The inevitable happens: the ship hit an angry whale, who punctured a hole on the side of the stern. Unfortunately, Haley was a lost cause as she was thrown into the ocean by the force of the tail. But no one noticed because everyone was on H-TUNES! Distracted by the internet, no passenger realized the ship was sinking. And like an exponential graph, notice and panic quickly raised.
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Herbert was no longer happy. He needed to find his boys. He finds them, but suddenly a burst of water emerges around the bend. He grabs hold of both the boys and wraps them around a pole. However, he only has the strength to hold onto one...
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Who does Herbert hold onto, and who does he let go to surmass a watery ending?
Comments
Well.... that was... interesting. Where the heck did you come up with this ides?? O.o; its not that its bad, its just totally random, lol.
What you should do is get your family to proofread it, correct your spelling and grammar mistakes and maybe contribute something to the story :) that's what most writers do, weither it's an english assignment or a book.
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What you should do is get your family to proofread it, correct your spelling and grammar mistakes and maybe contribute something to the story :) that's what most writers do, weither it's an english assignment or a book.