Judging in the order than stories were posted:
Starting with -
- Thirteen -
Creativeness: 6/10 - The twist was creative and clever - even if it left me a little confused. My main factor is the dialog didn’t feel real. It never felt like two real people were having a conversation. It felt a little forced. This made the dialog a little slow to read and feel very bland. More exciting dialog would have pushed this score up.
Understandable: 6/10 - I understand not everything has to be explained and this piece of fiction is for the reader to make their own interpretation about the story. Just, I think a little more needed to be explained. Was the boy a blessing - was it her imagination? This is personal taste - and I do try and not let my personal taste get in the way of my judging - but with this piece of writing it’s very hard not to. I hope you understand the points I have made - and I know others would have loved the open ending.
The Story: 6/10 - I liked this, I just didn’t love it. With a subject like this I should feel connected to the characters but I never did. I understand there aren’t many words to work with, with such a low limit - but I still should have felt something. The twists were nice and unexpected - but my main concern was the forcedness of the dialogue. It seemed a bit stilted in places.
Overall: 4/10 - I’m sorry but you broke the rules. I’m sorry - this score would have been a 6 - but your character leaves the room and goes into the kitchen. This is a clear break of the rules and for that reason, I’ve had to deduct points. You’re a good writer with lots of potential - and I hope you make it through this round as I know you have a lot of talent to give.
Thirteen = 22/40
