Day 10: Sergio H. // sihz
I felt like the last 24 hours I led the way to my own death in a drama tv series grand finale episode. Everything came together for this to happen with Sergio being the reason of his own passing.
After Jake was voted off, we realized that 2 idols were misused and although Arek tried to convince me using it on Layla was a mistake, a bigger mistake would have been having Britt idoling Jake and me not using it causing Layla to go. It was calculated risk, I do not regret anything and with that 2 idols have been flushed.
Last night it was all mad quiet, I felt the train a kilometer away. And while I did some idol searching, I was unable to find it. I was frustrated, so many hours I spent looking for it even with 3 clues, the universe was telling me something.
This morning I wake up to a bunch of messages trying to figure out the fate I was about to meet. It didn't feel real. Seth had been kissing my ass all day everyday while Eddy was pushing me to vote for Tyler thinking we had the votes but the sad truth is... we actually didn't. I had officially lost my buddy Andrew to Tyler and Britt and there was nothing I could do to bring him back except for voting Tyler but my main goal was to separate that trio yet again. Nobody was budging, not a single soul in this camp. Until I realized that for me to have the numbers on my side I would need to gather info on who's constantly at the bottom of people's totem pole's, that's what survivor is about because we all want each other out but the pecking order is the deal and I had that down when I realized that Zay was pushing me for Andrew last tribal so I said to myself this is my chance. The train was only 500 meters away by then.
I gathered Layla, Chloe, Arek, Austyn, Zay and myself all dead locked to vote for Andrew having little over 1 hour before deadline. I felt almost sick to my stomach having to vote Andrew who previously showed me he really trusted me with the fact he didnt feel secure in the new majority group that voted Jake out due to pre-existing friendships within. The train is now 300 meters away from me and the tension reaches its highest peak the moment Andrew slides into my pms asking me who's the vote. I dont know where to hide and the emotional Sergio starts coming out, the guilty feeling was eating me inside out as I spell Tyler's name as a fake vote.
Andrew and I continue engaging on the fact that we should vote together and truth was, we actually weren't. Everything was locked and loaded until feelings take over Sergio's mind to feel bad for Andrew possibly having Sergio's back thinking its a mistake to let him go and then from one moment to another Arek finds the immunity idol with nearly 30 minutes left before deadline. Arek and i run through so many possible outcomes, we can idol out somebody but can it be misused? perhaps but it was an option. We needed to figure out who Tyler, Britt, Eddy and Seth were locking in so I asked Andrew and he says to me "Layla".
Blindly and emotionally vulnerable 10 minutes before deadline, I start to believe that was true so Arek and myself think this over and even get heated arguing whether Layla is the actual target and why the idol should be used to get Tyler out but then for the idol to be used, so many questions were being asked by Zay, Chloe and Layla at the fact that I was pushing them to switch their votes onto Tyler at the very last minutes. Emotions had fully taken over my mind being completely fooled by Andrew's wit that was leading me to vote Tyler with him instead of himself. At this point the train's headlights are blinding any accurate vision i could possibly have on the game that i was playing.
Feeling overwhelmed by the questions I couldnt answer because Arek's idol had to remain hidden, I couldn't handle it so I decided to switch back my vote from Tyler to Andrew meanwhile Andrew had other plans himself.
The train is 5 seconds away from me. My brain was spiraling, my skin was tickling in a surreal electrifying way, my breath was heavy, my heart was racing, fingertips were sweaty and eyes disoriented. It wasn't real.
5:30 pm EST hit my clock and I wanted to hop in on the train to continue my journey on my way to the win, but Andrew was behind me, he knew what was going to happen was going to be devastating but it was necessary. Andrew pushed me into the railway and I'm unable to move and get up. I was cold blooded run over by a train that wasn't meant for me to hop in on. Body split, blood bathed, guts out, eyes staring into nothingness but the cold hard reality Sergio had just met.
Sergio's passing is nothing but the result of guilt feelings, sharing information with the wrong people, cracking under pressure and miscalculated risk. Everything came together for it to happen.
I leave the game with pride, knowing I did everything in my power to build what i thought would be my way to the win. But the universe is wise and I regret zero things, I have won the game before thanks to my intuition and emotional engaging and I absolutely don't think thats ever gonna change. I came to win and i'd rather go out knowing i could have had a solid storyline than some people in this cast dodging bullets but having zero control in their games reducing their odds in a final tribal council.
Thanks so much to the hosts for having me, this was a super competitive cast and you win some, you lose others. This wasn’t my time!
