Sooo, I got this friend, let us call him 'Jay'.
He's in year 11, I'm in year 9.
He has never had a real girlfriend, and he has only kissed one girl.
He really likes me, and we went out for like a week once last year, lol.
Well, today, I went for a walk with him at lunch during school.
And I kissed him.
It only lasted a second or two, and his lips tasted like coca-cola.
It was my first kiss and his second.
And after I kissed him we stood in almost complete silence for a while then I ran away.
And then I figure out that I don't like him enough to go out with him.
I mean, sometimes I get butterfly feelings when I hang out with him, but it always feels kinda awkward between us I think.
Another problem is, while I think he is cute, I don't think he's 'hot'.
He isn't particularly attractive to me, and no matter how much he likes me or I like him, I think that's fairly important if I want things to be right between us when we kiss, ya know.
Anyway, this is just a little rant because I don't see my therapist till like tuesday or thursday and I am worried I mighta screwed up our already awkward friendship.
In the meantime, I will generally avoid relationships with guys in real life, and focus on the sad, sad world inside my head - inwhich guys are perfect and I can date them all at the same time..
Because that is so much better than reality.
Comments
Hmmm, well I think if you get butterflies, there is something there. Maybe you two should talk. Or text. :)
