I was having a heart attack. Dad died from heart problems, mom died from lung problems, so when my chest is hurting I freak the fuck out and I felt like every time I inhaled I was being stabbed in the chest over and over and over and over again.
turns out its a lung infection but it made me appreciate how nice it is to breathe with no pain
ive recently been super pissed off about the way I was raised because it ruined me as an adult. I was given any and everything I ever had and never had to work for anything, the same thing I accused another user on this website of which I was undoubtedly guilty of myself. My suffering was self-taught before knowing what true suffering actually is.
I was mad at my parents for giving me any and everything I ever wanted, because as an adult, it has really fucked me up in the long run in many different ways, it has made my life significantly harder, its made me delayed in basic principles of money that I should have known and had to struggle for to understand what it actually means to make a dollar.
I dont understand how alcohol works and got moonshine this weekend so I was taking shots of it and didn't realize how much stronger it is than regular alcohol and now i've made a very large mathematical error in my calculation of BAC
(im not going anywhere I am home but didnt intend to get this drunk)
but fuck it; I really think that Thomas Jefferson (in Hamilton) being revealed as a black man forces most people to acknowledge their subconscious & inherited racism based on their initial opinion when it is revealed. It forces it to come to the forefront of your mind and makes you uncomfortable and I fucking love it and think its genius.
(idk what this means but im bored) straight from the 'Go ShayyBayy
I hate the new ShayyBayy, the never blue ShayyBayy
The always rude ShayyBayy, spaz on the blogs ShayyBayy
I gotta to say at that time I'd like to meet ShayyBayy
See I invented ShayyBayy, it wasn't any ShayyBayy's
And now I look and look around and there's so many ShayyBayys
I used to love ShayyBayy, I used to love ShayyBayy
I even had the designs, I thought I was ShayyBayy
