Hey guys,I just was feeling thankful to be alive and living as best i can with what god has dealt me, for the last 5 years I have always had a chip on my shoulder and thought that I had no life after my illness although I don't have the opportunity to do all the things i used to I still get to do a lot of things i can. I used to think I had great friends who would always be there for me no matter what and I guess the saying is true ( you will know who your true friends are when you get sick or when you go to jail) well i was wrong on both occasions.
when i was 18 i was arrested ( this may come to shock to everyone as i never told anyone here that before) and did my time in a federal prison followed by a 5 year probation. i at the time thought i had a lot of friends and when it came to it I only received 3 letters from my many so called friends i had. I swore not to let many people get close to me again but i failed back in Sept of 2011 i got really sick and almost passed away Spent 19 days in the hospital dying before the doctors actually realized what i had, after that i spent the next two years in and out of hospitals and Cancer Centers in my town, this time not once did any of my so called best friends visit me 1 time while i was dying in the hospital, I don't hold any regrets but i know now that my best friends i had where really just party and going out friends. I received more moral support from strangers online here on tengaged i guess True friends who i had the pleasure of meeting on this site and on es. I value all my TENGAGED FRIENDS because they have been here for me more than my so called friends i know in my daily life. One of these friends was diagnosed with Cancer and had to have an emergency operation removing an aggressive tumor he had. I drove my cripple ass two+ hours to the city he moved to to show him support he never gave me. When i walked in to the waiting room his mom cried and gave me a huge hug and was pleased i made the drive to wait with her while her son was in the OR. we chatted for like 4 hours and although i knew she didn't like me a whole lot but was civil with me because i was her sons friend we actually bonded. She asked me how i was doing and how i was handling my things and my moms death. I replied " i'm grateful to be here and just living my life one day at a time" we had a good lunch then we went in and saw my friend he cried when he saw me as well and apologized to me for never going to see me when i was in the hospital. I told him " don't worry about that just focus on you getting better" i guess he felt guilty that i traveled 2+ hours to see him and he couldn't even drive 10 mins in the same town for me. anyways Thank you all for being here for me through out these hard years and always having my back. I know some of you aren't my biggest fans garrievans97 and a few others but i'm even thankful to you for making my time here fun everyone needs someone to argue with sometimes to keep us alive lol..lol. here are a few people who I love jsylvia76 ASupreme Nicklove09 Manda17_xoxo onemanarmy k4r4K Bluesapphire JayELVeeisBack Valdamien acyuta moneyshot taraG RobiLee jassos4 and all the members of the NIGHT CREW! #castings #rookies #survivor
Comments
Keep pushing foward :D Glad you are working on a better life !
thanks for sharing this Martin. you are a good man. Stay positive and keep on working on being a good person. 'cause people start to respect you more and your life will change to a better one. :)
I hope you are doing better now. I remember being in the Night Crew with you on here back in 2009 and 2010. I don't think we talked alot, but we did a few times. I also remember being in a few fast castings with you on tengaged.es in 2014 and 2015. I have always thought that you are very nice.
Awww, even though Ida my sis. I am sorry for everything that you have to go through. I understand what you mean when you say you went to the penn and don't nobody put money on your books or wrote you letters. I hope everything turns out okay for you and your future. Wpwsers196
Please, ask God into your life and ask him for forgiveness of ALL your sins. I know you and a lot of others might not think homosexuality is a sin, but it is. It is in the bible and if you want to be saved then you need to ask forgiveness for every sin you have committed. You can't pick and choose which sins you believe in. He already has that set out for you. I will be praying for you and your repentance.
